Girls are confusing

vina_lek

Guest
Here's the story:
I've met a girl I really like earlier this year. We watched a movie together which was boring, but I got good company B) . The girl's really nice, friendly and cute. I've never met a girl that cute and so down to earth. Our second hang-out was like a dream. We were talking and teasing each other under the stars until the AM, but I didn't make any moves and basically was the one to end the hang-out. It was late, and she's a girl...so I thought that was the right thing to do. I guess my problem is she's really bad with staying in touch via e-mail. We're both busy due to school, but I always make time to e-mail her. I mean how much effort does it take to e-mail someone? We only call or txt each other when we're about to go hang out. She seems to be comfortable with that, so I've just continued with it. Every time I do a 'I understand if you don't want to stay in touch' anymore with her, she offers to hang out. With this last time, not only does she want to go hang out...she wants to go out of state for 2-4 days together. This girl just confuses me. Okay, so I'm wondering...what is this girl's interest level in me? Is she just one of those girls who is just nice to everyone or what is it? I was thinking maybe she just needs someone to hang out w/ from time to time who seems trustworthy, but this girl is involved in student goverment, sports and other extra curriculars. Girls... :wacko: My guy friends say to NEXT her, and the girls agree. So what do the Sarnies say? :huh:
 

marduk

Sarnie Clown!
1) I didn't know you were a guy. I wonder how many there are total in Sarnworld. We should have a guy coalition.

2) You, my friend, have just fallen into in the Friends ladder....

http://www.laddertheory.com/

Pay attention to this quote from around page 4-5:
"The best way to never score with a woman is to show too much interest in her."

Ok, maybe not. She could either i) really likes you but is too shy, which means that you need to stop being a wuss and make an ACTUAL move (not just "hang out") ii) really thinks you're a cool friend but know that you like her so that in order to keep your friendship, she'll hang out with you when it seems like you might want to shy away (ie. her wanting to hang out when you say "it's ok if you don't want to stay in touch.") or iii) she's completely oblivious to what's going on.

So how about this? Ask her what she thinks instead of us. ;)
 

knightluva

sarNie Hatchling
I think she is interesting in you but is waiting for you to do the moves on her. Woman, as myself, is shy when it comes to this. So hurry up and show her u like her and make herself feel comfy around you so she wouldn't have to feel nervous and wait.
 

dfemc

sarNie Adult
doode just ask her wassup and let her know straight up ur interested in her.

during my younger days, i was the oblivious chic, sounds a bit familiar. later on, i just avoid things to keep it on the cool. but on the whole sometimes, confused and mixed about my feelings too. so maybe that's what she's going through too.

it's best to just confront the issue and lay it all out on the table, just to make sure ur on the same page. but make sure that ur ready to take the truth and let her know ur ready to take whatever's coming at u. plus what do u got to lose, u've considered "nexting" her anyhoo. straighten things out before it runs into deep waters.

just a thought from being on the other end. ^_^

p.s. yo vina, u wouldn't happen to be from the bay area (cali) by any chance, would u?
 

vina_lek

Guest
Thanks you all! :D

The girl pretty much puts me in WUSS central. :huh: I guess I'll just let her know when we hang out next time, because I want to know where we stand before I go out-of-state w/ her. I'll see. So from now and then, I'll have to get ready for rejection if that's the case.

I'm from the East Coast. B)
 

noungning

Heartless
the girl sounds like my friend... hmmm well lets see... she goes to movies with guys... just the two of them together. they hang out alone... and sometimes she'd say lets go to cali together for a week... but she's my friend, and i know she means no more than friends with the guy. she's nice to everyone. and thats also why all the guys she hangs out with thinks there's something...

i do the same... i talk to guys alot...i'm nice too everyone too and ppl tend to take it wrongly...and then when they ask me and i decline. they tend to get mad at me and claim that i've given the wrong signals... but can't a guy and a girl be just friends and go to the movies together and eat out together? but like i said...i've asked my friend that before and he begs to differ... and actually said..."i don't understand how a guy and a girl can go to the movies together alone when they aren't going out"... -_- coming from the girls perspective... i think if u wanna ask... go ahead. but please don't say something like since u don't like me why are you hanging out with me? because when someone really cares, and wants to be friends with u, hears something like that, it's really painful.
 

dfemc

sarNie Adult
noungning said:
the girl sounds like my friend... hmmm well lets see... she goes to movies with guys... just the two of them together. they hang out alone... and sometimes she'd say lets go to cali together for a week... but she's my friend, and i know she means no more than friends with the guy. she's nice to everyone. and thats also why all the guys she hangs out with thinks there's something...

i do the same... i talk to guys alot...i'm nice too everyone too and ppl tend to take it wrongly...and then when they ask me and i decline. they tend to get mad at me and claim that i've given the wrong signals... but can't a guy and a girl be just friends and go to the movies together and eat out together? but like i said...i've asked my friend that before and he begs to differ... and actually said..."i don't understand how a guy and a girl can go to the movies together alone when they aren't going out"... -_- coming from the girls perspective... i think if u wanna ask... go ahead. but please don't say something like since u don't like me why are you hanging out with me? because when someone really cares, and wants to be friends with u, hears something like that, it's really painful.
[post="43706"][/post]​
i agree, guys tend to take on an egocentric perspective. they don't believe in friendships, unless u've grown up with them. it's a strange sex dynamics. after a certain point, guys don't approach grls with the interest of being friends, they hardly ever do. but grls are capable of respecting guys as not only a romantic interest but as an individual who can provide decent company. hormones....they don't fair the same way. unfortunately.

someday, science will come to fix that. ^_^
 

vina_lek

Guest
Don't worry. I wouldn't say anything rude or egotistical to cover up my pain of rejection. :) In my defense though, I don't just like the girl, b/c we've been hanging out together a lot. I've always liked this girl for who she is way before we got to hang out on a one-on-one basis. I guess being alone w/ her just heightens up the feelings, which I can control if she just wants to be friends. :) Plus, I have friends who are girls where we're just on a strictly platonic level on, and I have never had romantic feelings for them...don't know why. Not most will get close to the girl for the intentions of it being romantic now...haha, geesh. :D
 

marduk

Sarnie Clown!
dfemc said:
i agree, guys tend to take on an egocentric perspective. they don't believe in friendships, unless u've grown up with them. it's a strange sex dynamics. after a certain point, guys don't approach grls with the interest of being friends, they hardly ever do. but grls are capable of respecting guys as not only a romantic interest but as an individual who can provide decent company. hormones....they don't fair the same way. unfortunately.

someday, science will come to fix that. ^_^
[post="43720"][/post]​
Haha, it's all explained in the ladder theory. I might not agree with everything in that theory, but one part that everyone knows is that guys and girls are wired differently. So girls out there, please be considerate of guys' feelings when you're just being "nice." And that excuse where you don't know the guy likes you is kinda stupid. Granted, it's valid in some cases, but I honestly don't believe you're completely clueless to his feelings.
 

Nicky

sarNie Hatchling
Thanks for the reminder vina_lek! haha but guys should be more brave to make a move. Some are too shy and I just don't think he knows what he want. frustrating to a girl at times and I know it 2005 but it best if a guy make the first move.
 

vina_lek

Guest
haha, yeah, I'll make a move that isn't too confrontational. So she'll feel comfortable w/ saying no in her own way and know she'll still have my friendship. Problem solved right? :p
 

Nicky

sarNie Hatchling
vina_lek said:
haha, yeah, I'll make a move that isn't too confrontational. So she'll feel comfortable w/ saying no in her own way and know she'll still have my friendship. Problem solved right? :p
[post="43794"][/post]​
yup. letting her know she can't read your mind and you accepting it what ever happens. good luck! ^_^
 
S

sunflower

marduk said:
Haha, it's all explained in the ladder theory. I might not agree with everything in that theory, but one part that everyone knows is that guys and girls are wired differently. So girls out there, please be considerate of guys' feelings when you're just being "nice." And that excuse where you don't know the guy likes you is kinda stupid. Granted, it's valid in some cases, but I honestly don't believe you're completely clueless to his feelings.
[post="43729"][/post]​

what are you trying to say? i don't get it.. you told me to read this and said it was about me... so are you saying you hate girls like me? i'm sorry.. i won't bother you anymore.. :wavecry:
 

dfemc

sarNie Adult
marduk is just wired differently. that's all he's saying p'tawan. he's claiming that most guys like him are simply incapable of facing the truth all the time, in which case, women shouldn't play "nice", they should be more straightforward and admit to the guy that "DAYAM IT, this is not romance, it's just me wanting a suga daddy for tonite, that's all". LOL! :lmao:
alrite maybe not so much the suga daddy part, but just decent company, because it's boredom. :D

btw, vina...this doesn't really apply to ur case, ur a good guy. u seem to understand reality very well and are up to beat with ur relationships.

:D
 

juicee

sarNie Elites
well, I've hung out with plenty of guys one on one without there being a more than friends feeling from either party. I go to the movies, dinner, etc with guys all the time. Especially since my best friend is a guy. And yes I do tend to hang out with more guys than girls - less drama - plus you can always meet more guys thru them. haha. the only downside is that people automatically assume that my guy friend and I are a couple, which sucks if there's a hot guy you're interested in. but it could also be good, if someone you're not into trying to hit on me - then I just pretend we're a couple, especially funny if my friend is gay. haha. ne ways, i know that my guy friends that i hang out aren't interested in me in that way. well okay, i admit that there are guys out there that can't be friends with girls unless they're interested in them. i know a couple people like that. i know this guy jack, well he doesn't even bother talking to girls unless he wants to hook up with them - well now that's extreme.

ne ways, vina lek, you're situation kinda reminds me of something that happened to me last year. I was hanging out at Jimmy's house (my friend), cause there was an after party there. So I met his housemate, whom I've heard about a lot, cause he was suppose to be all cute, and a lot of girls were crushing on him. Anyways he was cute, like everyone said. And I got the feeling that he was into me. I'm usually precetive, so I can usually tell when a guy likes me. Anyways, he tells my friend, Jennie, that he thinks I'm cute and was interested. Jennie tells me, which confrims what I was thinking. So we ended up talking until early in the ams, and everyone else was asleep. And after all that, guess what - NADA - nothing happened, he didn't make a move or anything. I mean, after all that flirting, nothing happened. Yeah, turns out, that he's supposedly this very conservative, gentlemenly type, so he didn't do nething, cause he wasn't getting ne "signals" from me. Which is kinda mindbaffling since everyone else that was there, totally thought we were blatantly flirting and thought we liked hooked up (and no i don't mean sex when i saw hook up, please!). So moral of the story, just get it out in the open. Luckly I wasn't really that into that dude, so it wasn't a loss :)
 

Nameless

N i n j a
Hmm...interesting. I think KT should make a LOVE and Relationships Advices thread. I've noticed there's been quite a few poppin' up.

Back to the point here. It's true, girls are complicating and some guys are just too simple-minded. That's why we should all remain single. :) Be like me, join the ninja-club.

j/k.
 

vina_lek

Guest
Nameless said:
Hmm...interesting. I think KT should make a LOVE and Relationships Advices thread. I've noticed there's been quite a few poppin' up.

Back to the point here. It's true, girls are complicating and some guys are just too simple-minded. That's why we should all remain single. :) Be like me, join the ninja-club.

j/k.
[post="44016"][/post]​
:loool: I'm actually thinking about joining...
 
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