CHAPTER 29
this song plays as Kimberly thinks
Kimberly lies in bed, snuggle up with her book,
The Princess Bride. Tears slowly streaming down her corners of her eyes. She doesn't wipe them away. Yaya just called her moments ago to inform her Dennis left. Devastated. Her heart's ravaged into pieces. Overwhelmed by the situation. She just saw him not to long ago. 2 days to be exact. Now he's gone forever. Just like he said.
"He just board the plane..." Sorrow in Yaya's voice,
"He wanted me to tell you goodbye... He wishes you a happy marriage..."
Kimberly hugs tighter onto the book. The only memory she has of him left.
"It's finally over..." She exhales deeply, feeling the ton of weight lifted from her shoulders. She should feel a sense of relief, but why does it feel like a burden? Why is she crying over him still? And how could he possible leave her at a time like this? What is she going to do now?
Disoriented in her thoughts. Agitated by anything and everything. Her life seem to be passing by so quickly. Her body's numb all around. What's gotten into her. She should be happy that Dennis has left her alone, yet she isn't.
"One last thing Kimberly... He wanted me to tell you...he loves you..."
She closes her eyes, imagining the night on the yacht where Dennis told her he was leaving. The tears streams down her cheeks, more than ever. Her heart's aching with pain, as she remembers the last kiss they shared. His soft, tender lips pressed against hers. She'll miss his kisses. His tender touch. Suddenly, the pain in her chest aches even more. Like a thousand knives thrown at her chest. Dennis has hurt her more than ever. Her heart's in agonizing pain. How could he do this to her? How could he? She wants to scream at the top of her lungs.
She spent years fighting for him. Fighting for his love. Fighting to be noticed by him. Spent countless years chasing after his love. But just when he begins to fight for her, he walks away in a blink of an eye, never to return, so he says. Is she a fool for feeling this way? Has she lost her mind? Does Dennis even love her like he says he does? Could be a sick joke he's playing on her?
Questions weave in an out of Kimberly's mind. She can't fight the voices inside of her. The questions keep pouring and she doesn't know what to do.
"Please stop..." she utters to herself, "stop torturing yourself Kimberly..." she places the book next to her. Face down. "He doesn't love you..." she demands, "Dennis
does not love you..." she brushes the tears away from her cheeks, "He doesn't love me... not the way Tom does..." she glares down at her engagement ring. The wedding's next weekend.
"Am I ready to get married...?" She ask herself, gently polishing the ring, "My mind's telling me yes... but why is my heart telling me no..." She sighs heavily. Perplexed again.
She gets up from the bed, slowly pacing back and forth. Things needs to be straighten out for once. Her heart is on the line and she can't waste another day.
"Tom..." She utters, fidgeting with her engagement ring, "He's everything I always fantasize about a mnan... sweet, kind, a real gentleman... my prince charmer..." she chuckles, "But then there's Dennis... the ladies man... kind and generous when he wants to be... the man I've been in love with for so many years..." She groans in confusion, "What to do...?" she questions, "Tom has everything I want... but is he everything I need...?"
Her head's screaming, "Marry Him! Marry Him!" But her heart's screaming, "Caution! Beware!"
So who will she pick? The man who swept her off her feet with just one look into his beautiful eyes or the man who she's been head over heels for after 2 decade? A massive headache erupts once again as she tries to figure out who's the best fit person for her. This is the hardest decision she had to make in her life. How will she know if she's making the right decision?
"I have to marry Tom..." She finally utters, after a long debate between her mind and heart, "he's been good to me and that's that..."
"But what Dennis...?"
Kimberly quickly turns around to see Yaya standing by the door.
"Yaya?" She's startled, "What-- What are you doing here?"
"I just thought I'd come by and comfort a friend in need..." she walks over to sit on the bed, "Plus, you gave me a spare remember...? Told me I can come anytime. I figured this will be the best time to come..."
"Oh..." Kimberly puts down her head.
"So what about Dennis...?" Yaya ask again.
"Dennis..?" She looks at Yaya funny.
"Yes, you know, my brother, Dennis..." She chuckles, "How do you feel about Dennis...? What's your heart telling you to do with him...?"
Kimberly stays quiet, not uttering a word.
"You're still in love with Dennis, aren't you?"
"What?! No!" Kimberly shouts in defense. She's in denial.
"Kimberly..." Yaya sighs, "I've known you since we were kids... since we were practically in diapers! I know you too well. I know you're still in love with Dennis... You don't need to lie to me..." she reaches for Kimberly's hand, "It's okay to admit that you still love him,: She stares deep into Kimberly's soul.
Her heart beats faster, almost as if she's about to lose control. How can she admit that she still loves Dennis? It'll make her look like a total idiot for still being in love with a man like Dennis, especially after all the years of being treated like crap. How can she still admit it?
Kimberly gets up from the bed, chuckling a little bit, "Still in love with Dennis...?" She shakes her head, "How can I possibly say that I love him Yaya? Not after all that he's put me through in the past two decade... There's no more room for Dennis... No more room at all..." she lies through her teeth.
"Kimberly, I don't know what happen between the two of you at the beach, but ever since he came back from the beach, he just hasn't bee the same. He stop going out with his friends. His daily life is consumed by work. He doesn't talk to anyone anymore. He just keeps to himself... now tell me that isn't normal..." She looks up at Kimberly, "And before he left, he told me to tell you, he loves you... now what's that about...?" She raises from the bed, "Something must have happen between you two otherwise Dennis wouldn't just up and leave like this... specially not to another country..." She catches her breath.
"Nothing happen Yaya..." she lies to her.
"Okay... I'm not going to force you to talk about it but just know that Dennis has never told another woman he loves them... you're his first..."
Kimberly's heart drops to the ground as she stares at Yaya in shock. She couldn't believe her ears. Surely her ears must be deceiving her.
"You heard it right Kimberly... Dennis has never told another woman he love them.. so when he told me to tell you he loves you... I know he's being serious... but why he decide to leave now, that's a mystery... My parents are still surprised to. My mom nearly had a heart attack!" she shook her head.
"That serious...?" Kimberly looks at her ring.
"Dennis really does love you Kimberly..." Yaya touches her shoulder, "He may be the type to sleep with numerous woman, but he's never been serious about any of them the way he's serious about you... He finally realize what it means to love
just one... all because of you..."
Kimberly's heart sank, feeling lower than low, tears slowly begin to well up in her eyes, "I don't want to be a fool in love Yaya..." her voice cracks as she tries to hold back, "What kind of person will I be...? Dennis has shown me nothing but pain-- just pain. Then Tom comes along and patches Dennis's wound and he's shown me pleasure-- sweet pleasure. I can't betray Tom... not like this..." she shakes her head as she thinks about the pain Tom will be in if she hurt him, "You can't expect me to end an engagement with a wonderful man who will love me unconditionally for a man I've been in love with so so long...?" She searches for answers, "I just can't do it."
"Kimberly," Yaya inhales, "Don't be afraid of pain... Pleasure is on the other side..." Yaya tells her. Kimberly freezes instantly, just staring into Yaya's eyes,"Can't have pleasure without the pain, right...?" she shrugs giving Kimberly a little grins.
The words hit Kimberly hard in the chest. A light bulb appears before her head. Yaya's right.
"Dennis may have shown you pain, but it doesn't mean he can't show you pleasure..." She listens to Yaya preach.
"But Yaya--"
"Kimberly, just listen to me--" She interrupts, "I know you're torn between these two... a man who loves you unconditionally, and a man who realizes his true feelings for you... but what about you? What does your heart want? What does your heart need?" Yaya touches her heart, trying to make Kimberly realize something, "Think about it some more... but please, no more running away from your heart... stop lying to yourself. Just listen to what your heart's telling you, because in the end, your heart is on the line...Kimberly wipes her tears, listening to the wise words of her best friend preach.
"You're right..." She gives a weak smile, "I can't keep lying to myself..." Feeling much better to have Yaya listen to her like this. She contemplates in her mind. Confused yet again! Will she ever make the right decision?
"Maybe... maybe I just need some time by myself..." she tells Yaya, "Maybe I'm just rushing into things to forget everything in my past..." she looks down at her engagement ring.
"If that's how you feel... then take some time off Kimberly... marriage shouldn't be rushed... take as much time as possible... maybe you'll realize something about yourself," She smiles at Kimberly, who reaches over to give her a bear hug. She feels good knowing she has Yaya as her best friend.
"Thank you so much..." she tells her, "I don't know what I would do without you..." She smiles to herself, feeling her heart as ease. The ton of weight lifts off her shoulder.
The next step will be the hardest thing she'll have to do. She must call off the wedding with Tom.
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Kimberly sits patiently, waiting for Tom to arrive. She checks her phone constantly. Time seem to pass by extra slow today. Seconds feel like hours as she plays the waiting game with Tom. Anxiety eats at her, feeling the nerves consuming her insides. Can she go through with this? How will Tom react to her decision? Will he be mad? Sad? The questions rotates in her mind, nonstop. Her head's spinning with questions. It's a never ending cycle. Almost as if she's trapped in a closed room with no way to escape.
Her heart beats faster and faster as the time ticks away. Every little noise suddenly becomes sensitive to her ears. Suddenly, she's not sure if she'll be able to go through with it. How will she go through with it? She ask herself. But oh, she must. It's unfair to Tom. She hasn't be truthful to him, although she never told him everything.
Suddenly her train of thought is intruded by footsteps approaching from behind her.
"Tom..." she utters under her breath. Her heart drops to the ground. Horrified all of the sudden. A lump stuck in her throat as she tries to keep her composure.
Warm lips touches her cheek, "Sorry to keep you waiting, Love..." he whispers to her, taking a seat across the table.
"uh.." she clears her throat, "It's-- It's okay," The nerves kick into gear. Will she have the will power to break her prince charming heart?
"So.." he smiles sweetly at her, "What's going on, Kimberly...?" He folds his arm on the table.
"Deep breath..." she tells herself, leaning in on the table, "I have something to tell you..." she slowly and gently pulls the engagement ring off, and slides it to him, "I-- I can't marry you Tom..." she utters. The words were difficult for her to speak.
He stares at her in complete shock, shifting from her to the ring, "What-- what do you mean you can't?" He ask in horror, "I thought-- I thought you love me...?" sorrow in his voice.
"Tom-- I.. I do... or so I thought I did.." she clears her throat, "I guess I was in love with the idea of you..." she lowers her head, avoiding his beautiful eyes, "I'm sorry Tom..."
He stares at the ring, taken back by it. The room's spinning and he isn't sure what to say.
"I haven't been quite honest with you either Tom..." she takes a deep breath, "About Dennis... that is..."
"What-- What about Dennis...?"
"When you asked me earlier how Dennis and I know one another, I didn't tell you the whole story..." she levels with his eyes, "It's true that I know him through his sister, Yaya... but the truth is..." she fumbles with her words, unsure how to say it, "I've been... in love with Dennis... for years..." she swallows hard, feeling pressure added to her chest, "20 years to be exact..."
Tom's eyes widen, surprised by what he's hearing. He reclines back in his seat, holding the ring in his hand.
They sit in silence for a few moments. Kimberly tries to read him, but his facial expression is completely blank. She couldn't tell what's going on in his mind.
"Let me get this straight..." Tom inhales deeply, "You're... in
love with my old college buddy... who's suppose to be my best man... at
our wedding...?"
Kimberly nods her head in guilt, pushing the bangs away from her face.
He shakes his head, chuckling uneasily, "Wow..." he says, eyes widen by the news she given him.
"Tom-- I'm sorry..." Kimberly reaches for his hand, trying to comfort him, "I really didn't mean to hurt you...You're an amazing guy... a real prince charmer... any woman will fall head over heal for you like I did... but..."
"You're just not in love with me...?" he finishes the sentence for her.
"Yes..." she nods her head, "I thought I could love you... and I honestly thought I did. The times we spent with one another were magnificent. Just wonderful.. but in the back of my mind, I always thought of Dennis. And the truth is, I can't keep lying to myself. I can't keep lying to you," tears began to well up her eyes, as she tries to keep it together, "You deserve a woman who won't lie and deceive you the way I did Tom..." the tears rolled down her cheeks, "For that, I can't be your wife... I'm not good enough for you..."
Tom quickly wipes them away. A half smile on his face, "No need for tears..." he tells her sweetly, gently squeezing her hand for comfort, "If it's not meant to be... no point in trying to make it work..."
She chuckles uneasily, tears still running down her cheek, "Tom, I really and truly am sorry for hurting you... that was never my intentions... I really want to love a man like you--"
"But your heart's telling you otherwise?" He finishes it for her again.
She nods her head, surprise he's taking this fairly well.
"Well, you can't force the heart to love a person... no matter how hard you try..." He winks, smiling his prince charming smile.
"And you definitely can't tell your heart to forget a person... no matter how hard you try..." she smirks, feeling better that Tom understands her.
"Well, I guess it's over between us..." Tom lets out a heavily sigh, smiling from ear to ear.
She nods her head, letting go of his hands, to dig into her purse, "I want to return these to you too..." she pushes the small boxes to him. The promise ring.
He pushes the box back to her, "Keep it..." he tells her, "think of it as an early birthday gift..." he winks at her. Her birthday's in a few weeks.
She chuckles, "okay... thanks Tom..." she clutches onto the little box. She'll remember all the sweet memories they shared.
"You should try to get him back-- Dennis, that is..." Tom utters.
Kimberly forces a smile on her face, "I won't be chasing after him anymore. He's gone forever. I think I need some peace and quiet to myself for now," she tells him.
"I see... but whatever happens in the future, I wish you the best of luck in your future," He reaches for her hand once more, giving her a gentle kiss, "But if Dennis does return, make sure you hold him tightly..." he winks at her.
She chuckles, feeling giddy, "I'll keep that in mind..."
"Okay... I guess this is goodbye Kimberly. Just know that there will never be another woman like you, my princess..." he bow his head and slowly makes his way towards the exit.
"Goodbye my prince charmer..." She whispers, smiling as she watches him leave.
"If Dennis does return...I'll never let him go again..." her smile disappears once Tom is out of her sight, forever.
Dennis is up to something lol it's just a matter of what hehe