CHAPTER 33
The past few days has been surprisingly peaceful. No Dennis bothering her. But it was rather strange not having him around. An empty feeling almost. However, she needed the peace and quiet. As much as she love the peace and quiet, her pregnancy symptoms have gotten worse in the past few days, disrupting her alone time. She's been experiencing morning sickness more often lately. Sometimes it'll occur throughout the day. Today, she had to leave work early, putting Ying in charge once again. She begins to wonder if anyone suspect that she's pregnant. Specially by the way she constantly runs in and out of the bathroom.
She flushes the toilet, just got done vomiting yet again. How do these woman do it on their own? She's only in the early stages of the pregnancy, yet the symptoms are killing her. She's also been lacking sleep. Having to wake up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. It's a constant battle to hold her urine. She crawls back in bed, feeling fatigue. She begins to second guess herself, and her ability to take on the responsibility-- without the help of a man that is. Without Dennis's help, that is. Will she be able to handle it on her own? Eight more months to go. It's going to be a long journey all by herself. She ask herself. Huddled in bed, under her warm blankets.
She listens to the silence surrounding. Thinking of Dennis all the sudden. Wondering what he's been up too in the past few days that she hasn't seen him. She shouldn't be thinking of him, but she couldn't resist herself. Her thoughts always find a way to think of him. And the more she pushed him away, the more she needed him.
From a distance she heard the door knock. Kimberly slowly climbs out if bed, heading for the door. She peaks through the door, seeing Yaya and Barry. She smiles to herself, letting them in.
"Kimberly!" Yaya hugs her tightly, "Look!" she flashes her finger, noticing something sparkle. Kimberly's jaw drop to the floor in surprise.
"You're-- you're engaged!" she shouts in shock, staring at the karat diamond. It's pretty big. Princess cut engagement ring, "Congrats you two!" she hugs Yaya, "come in, come in--" she closes the door behind her.
"Would you guys like something to drink?"
They shook their head, sitting next to each other on the couch.
"So--" she sat across from them, "How and when did this happen?" she was curious to know.
"Well-- You know I've always talk about getting married right? And I've brought it up with Barry, jokingly. He thought I was joking about not getting married. He even told he wouldn't dare marry a woman like me! I was too
dramatic for him! And that we were just dating for the
'time being'. So of course I was furious!" Yaya frowns at Barry, "But yesterday, he planned a nice dinner for me, since I was mad at him. Anyways, when we having a nice quiet dinner, he surprise me with a cake and in the middle of the cake was a small box. Once I open it- BAM! a diamond ring! He proposed!" she flashes her ring once again, smiling from ear to ear like a kid in a candy store.
Kimberly gushes for the two love birds, "Well it's about time... You two argued like a real married couple. I'm glad you two decide to get engage.. You two can fulfill the dream of being a bickering married couple, " she winks at Yaya.
"See, even Kimberly agrees we argue like a married couple.! I knew we were destined for one another, sweetheart!" Barry wrap his arm around Yaya, giving her a kiss on the cheek, who blushes.
Kimberly shakes her head, "So when's the wedding?"
"Kimberly--" Yaya taps her in the leg, "not yet... Give us time.. He just propose yesterday!"
She laughs, "Okay, okay. Let me know so I can make you the best wedding cake ever!" she tells Yaya, "It'll be on me," she winks.
"For sure!" she winks at Kimberly.
"So was that all you two came here for?" Kimberly peers at the door as if Dennis will pop out to surprise her.
Yaya and Barry looks at one another with hesitation. The atmosphere suddenly changes.
"Well..." Yaya looks at Barry, trying to get him to help her out.
"Is-- is everything okay?" Kimberly ask with concern. Feeling her heart racing.
"Uh..." Yaya scratches her head, wrestling with the words, "You see..." she inhales, avoiding Kimberly's eye contacts.
"What's-- what's going on Yaya, Barry...?" she leans in closer, "You two are scaring me..."
Yaya digs something from her purse, pulling out a white envelope. She slowly hands it to Kimberly.
She takes it from Yaya, staring at the white envelope. Her name written across it. Her heart begins thumping against her chest.
"It's from Dennis..." she tells Kimberly. He wanted me to give it to you..." her tone change completely.
Kimberly gasps for air. Her thoughts fill with questions, regarding the letter, "Where-- Where's Dennis?" her voice quiver in fear.
"You see Kimberly..." Barry clears his throat, "He Uh... We dropped him off at the airport before we came here..." he gives her a dead on look. Seriousness in his eyes.
"Airport?" Kimberly's heart drops, changing her tone of voice. She's short of breath now.
"Dennis changed his flight... He decided to go back a day early..." Yaya tells her.
Kimberly reclines back on the love seat. Completely numb. Dennis left already. Without saying goodbye too. Is this a joke? She looks down at the letter, touching the surface of it. A goodbye letter, she assume.
"He-- he left without saying goodbye..?" the tears slowly begins to well up in her eyes.
They both nod their heads, "I'm sorry... We tried to convince him to stay, but he was persistent..."
Barry shrugs.
"He's gone..." a tear slides down her cheek. She's in shock, disbelief. She spent years chasing him and now that the tables are turned, she's left with an empty feeling. Regret. Guilt eats at her.
"There-- there must be a mistake..." she shakes her head in denial, "He can't leave yet..." she grabs Yaya's hands, "Please tell me this is joke...?"
Yaya stares deeply into Kimberly's eyes, "I wish it were too.. But we dropped him off.. Helped him with his luggage and watch him leave... He just told me to give you this letter and that was it.. I'm sorry Kimberly..." she squeezes her hands, trying to comfort her.
Kimberly slowly dabs the tears from her face, "It's-- it's okay... I'll be fine..." she lies, "If that's what Dennis wants then he's free to go. Nothing's holding him back here..." she forces a smile, pretending to be happy and jolly.
The truth of the matter is, she's dying inside. She wants to scream at the top of her lungs. Cry her broken heart out.
"Are you going to be okay..?" Yaya ask with sadness in her voice.
"I'll be fine Yaya... I just need some time to myself." she grins weakly. Still in shock that Dennis left without saying goodbye. Her heart breaks into pieces, feeling hurt and anguish. Her heart's feeling empty inside. Like a missing piece of a jigsaw puzzle.
"He's gone forever now... Are you happy...?" she said to herself,
"You've spent the time chasing him away and how he's gone..." she feels a hard lump in her throat. Kimberly feels her heart beating against her chest. She's screaming at the top of her lungs but no one can hear her.
"Stop lying to yourself Kimberly!" her heart's screaming out,
"You're only hurting yourself in the end...!" her heart collides with her mind. She's torn, from listening to her heart and going with what's best for her.
"Well--" Yaya gets up, ready to leave, "I'm sorry Kimberly, but we got to get going..." she smiles weakly, feeling horrible for leaving Kimberly by herself when she's feeling vulnerable. She gives Kimberly a hug, "hang in there..." she whispers on her ear, "and Don't forget about tomorrow-- you promise..." she squeeze her hands.
Kimberly almost forgot. Yaya begged her earlier this week to make a guest appearance as a chief.
"I won't forget," she forces a smile.
"I'll see you tomorrow morning." Barry and Yaya gets up from her couch and heads for the door.
"Take good care of yourself okay?" Yaya hugs her tightly, comforting her motherly.
She walks them to the door, saying goodbye to them. Once the door closes behind her, she slowly opens up the letter, feeling her hand shaking in fear.
"Dearest Kimberly," she reads out loud. She could almost hear his voice,
"I just want to start off by apologizing to you. I am truly sorry, from the bottom of my heart. For all the wrongs I've done to you. I've made your life a living hell for the past two decades and I never realize how much pain I've causes you. I never should have been so cruel to you, especially since you been nothing but kind to me. But now that the tables are turned, I realize how much pain I've inflicted on you.. it's hard for me to fathom the type of person I was before.. But I can assure you I'm a changed man. But I know I'm a little too late.. In the past, I know, I've spent my time always trying to you chase away, but the truth of the matter is, I was only running away from myself. I was afraid of what could happen if I ever did fall in love. Afraid of getting my heart broken. But after you stop chasing me, and I saw you with Tom. I realize that I was falling for you and I was falling hard.I guess it's true what they say, 'you don't know what you're missing until it's out of your life... and sometimes the littlest things we take for grant until it's gone...' You made me see that love is a beautiful thing. Made me fall head over heels, completely in love with you... I just wish we could have shared our love with one another, instead of inflicting pain on one another.. I just want to turn back the hands of time and erase all the pain I've caused. But since I can't, all I can do is say I'm sorry, from the bottom of my heart, truly sorry. I hope one day you can find it in your heart and soul to forgive a man like me. I've abused you enough, physically and emotionally, and you need some time mend the heart I've damaged.. So this my farewell to you.. I'm waving my flag, giving up in this battle of love. I realize that I'm not needed in your life or our baby's life anymore, you made it loud and clear. So I wish you the best in life and please take good care of yourself. You have a life growing inside of you to think of now, don't forget. You're a strong beautiful woman, Kimberly and I know you can handle on your own. So be good to yourself and best wishes to you and your future. I love you Kimberly... And I truly mean it... If we ever meet again, maybe in the next life, we'll be good to one another...Goodbye Kimberly. Sincerely Dennis."
this song plays as she finish reading the letter
She collapse onto the edge of her bed. Numb. She's completely numb. She clinches tightly to her chest, holding the letter close to her heart. Tears spewing out like tsunami. There's no way to stop it. Her heart aches more than ever, feeling more pain than before. Kimberly finally breaks down. No holding back her emotions.
Why must you be so darn stubborn? She cursed herself. How did she let her pride get in the way like this? She just lost the only man she truly love. Why didn't she give him another chance? That's all he ever wanted. Just one chance. That's what Kimberly wanted too. So why didn't she take it his offer? Guilt and misery eats her away. She cursed herself for not letting her guards down just this once. Now Dennis is gone. Forever. Questions run through her mind, as the tears continues to pour out of her eyes.
She finally forgives him for everything he's put her throughout the years. But it's too late. He's not here to see how truly miserable she is. His letter touched her heart. Truly heartfelt. But he's gone. Never in her life had she felt so alone as she did right now. Her heart aches with pain.
Kimberly crawls under her blanket, letting the letter drop to the floor. She bundles up under her blanket wishing she could vanish into thin air. She's feeling vulnerable at this point. In need of comfort. A man's comfort. She hugs tightly onto a pillow, drowning in her own tears. Wishing it were Dennis she was hugging. Missing his sweet scent. His cologne still lingers in her room.
"Why couldn't she have given him just one more chance?" she ask herself once again,
"That's all he wanted..." Kimberly of all people should know how it feels like to get a chance. She's been in his position before, wishing and praying that Dennis will give her just one chance. So when that chance finally came, why didn't she just take it?
"I'm sorry Dennis..." she utters as the tears continue running down her cheeks,
"I forgive you..." she cries, realizing a life with Dennis is a treacherous life. In fact, it isn't a life at all. Her baby needs a father. She can't do this on her own. It's too much on her.
Kimberly closes her eyes, feeling her eyes sting from all the tears she's shed. Her heart grows heavy with every tear shed. Heartbroken. It's shattered into millions of pieces. The person who can mend her heart is the only person who broke her heart. How Will she be able to continue on life, especially with the precious life growing inside of her?
Kimberly hugs onto her pillow tightly imaging it's Dennis, "Please Dennis... I forgive you..." she utters, "I'm truly sorry..." Kimberly cries herself to sleep, wishing Dennis were there to comfort her and wipe the tears from her tears.
Her pillow stains with tears of sadness,
"please come back... I need you... I need us..."
SAD TO SAY BUT THERE'LL BE ONE MORE CHAPTER LEFT TO THIS FF. 
