Hope up for NOthing

[rukmos]

So during Christmas, I gave my BF a present and I didn't expect to get one back...When I gave him his present, he told me that he also had something for me but I would have to wait...He kept telling me that he's got a special treat for me and he was going to take me to the movie, all of his was going to be his treat

So Today was our date and he called me up two hours before to tell me that he was going to be on time and that he had my present for me. Well, I was excited and went early to wait for him. He was late to meet me there, he didn't have any money so I paid (which I didn't mind) and then after the movie, He told me that he didn't have my present for me...

Like I said before I didn't expect to get anything from him UNTIL he got my hopes up by saying that he had something for me and I waited for three extra days only to be disappointed...After the movie, we hung out but I didn't want to talk because he let me down and YET he doesn't know what he did wrong. I didn't tell him what he did wrong but just had let him know that I was disappointed in him.

I'm just a bit disappointed at him for letting me down after getting my hopes up and wanted to vent my anger and let down here...

Should I had told him what he did wrong? I feel like he should know what he did wrong and if he doesn't then I'm not important enough to him.

What do you all think?

 

[Saifah]

OHH THAT SUCKS!
GUYS CAN BE A TOTAL JERK!!

 

[n_naruk]

Most of the time, guys always think (or know so) that they didn't do anything wrong.

To me, I think it's better off that you should of let him know how you felt and what he did wrong. Or else he's not going to realize the wrongs that he've done and he'll just continuing on doing it over and over again....

I've been there done that. For me it wasn't easy to let it out. I've let him get away with it most of the time and just not say anything cus I didn't want us to fight or argue. But once I let it out to him. He would get all mad and pissed off about it.

Guys will never understands us girls.
They're just jerks and a$$holes!

But then again, it's up to you whether you want to let him know or not.

 

[rukmos]

I kind of felt like that too...I didn't want to bring it up since I didn't want us to argue over it, but at the same time I just cant get over being let down by him after him bragging about this thing he's got for me...

 

[n_naruk]

See that's the thing too about guys. Giving the girls so much hope and they would just destroy it just like that!

If that case happens again next time, you should let him know and dont let him get away with it again. Even tho you don't mind spending money on the both of you when you guys go out. I was the same way too. But enough is enough you know....

 

[Thookatha]

in a general statement, i am telling you need to confront him about this. don't wait until "a next time" cuz then he'll be confused at why you didn't confront him "before" but then confronted him "now". of course, depending on how long you've been with him and how well you know him, the way you confront him is a very sensitive issue. therefore, take into consideration whether he has done this before and whether he takes your words seriously. you know what type of communication works with him and what doesn't.

in a sense, guys don't like playing the guessing game because that's what it is to them (even though it's not). they are very stupid and careless, so it's hard when they have to think outside of the box. it's not necessarily that they don't want to "guess"...it's that they can't and ultimately won't. and unless you have a guy that was raised around many females, or better yet, only females, you're gonna have a tough time.

but to make u feel better, i have two scenarios for u. i don't know ur "man" so maybe this is possible...

scenario one:

your bf did NOT have a present ready for you to begin with. when he saw that you had given him something, he felt obligated to "give" you something back. it's very easy to play the "oh, i forgot your present at home" game. there's many advantages to this. he gets to see if u got him something, he gets to see the tangible value of his gift to which he could match urs, and ultimately, he's bought himself plenty of time to go out and grab u something later.

if this scenario is fatefully so, ur bf played this game poorly. he kept reassuring that he had your gift even up to right before your meeting time, even assured that he would pay for the date, yet he "forgot" the gift and showed up with no money. that's just plain stupid. im not saying that ur bf is stupid. he just did many stupid things in one situation and this is only a scenario. LOL

scenario two:

your bf purposely strung u along, purposely made u disappointed to super surprise you on new years, with one big, wonderful gift. perhaps he's trying to put u at ease to not suspect anything marvelous. does that sound like him at all? if so, u may want to take a chance and wait a day to see if this is so.

MOREOVER,

if scenario one is the case, i hope he comes to understand that making broken promises is the same thing as lying...especially to girls...especially to girls that watch lakorns...because chances are, her imagination is much crazier and can easily turn for the worse. ahaha

if scenario two is the case, u got urself a lovely pra ek and should totally forgive him. lol

but just so you know, scenario one is more likely than scenario two.

you know him best...you decide.

 

[rukmos]

Thanks for all the replies and supports. I feel much better just letting it out and reading all the wonderful replies.

As to the scenarios, I know him pretty well to know that he doesn't have any special "thing" for me on New Year so I'm not keeping any hopes for that and I just think that he strung me along.

Even before Christmas, he's been asking me what I want, what I'm into, and things like that hinting that he's getting me something. Sometimes, I just want to hit him over the head for being so clueless about things.

Don't we all wish that we had a perfect Pra'ek!!!!

 

[ChenrukNote]

LOL yes I wish I had a perfect pra'ek, one who's sexy and effortlessly cool .

Anyways I was taught, no told, wait no...preached to that in a relationship if you only give but never receive...you'll never be happy (AM I GOOD OR WHAT...you who taught me this??? that's if you ever read it but still, see I listen lol).

So is this the first time that he has done this to you? Or does he do it regularly? If this is the first time then let him know what he did wrong.

 

[KhoOnxNouxWanxJai]

I have a perfect Pra'ek sadly only personality wise look wise he ugly :loool: sigh if only he looked like Pepper LOL j.k he's freakng cute I love my dumbo x3 LOL

 

[BaBeeLaiLai]

Most of the time, guys always think (or know so) that they didn't do anything wrong.

To me, I think it's better off that you should of let him know how you felt and what he did wrong. Or else he's not going to realize the wrongs that he've done and he'll just continuing on doing it over and over again....

I've been there done that. For me it wasn't easy to let it out. I've let him get away with it most of the time and just not say anything cus I didn't want us to fight or argue. But once I let it out to him. He would get all mad and pissed off about it.

Guys will never understands us girls.
They're just jerks and a$$holes!

But then again, it's up to you whether you want to let him know or not.

Ditto thats how my boyfriend is exactly like. He does something wrong and never knows what he did wrong. And so sometimes I just won't tell him because I don't want to start an argument...and when I do he gets all mad and says that it was a stupid reason for me to get mad over it. He totally turns the situation around.

But then agian I think your boyfriend is kinda F*ed uP for telling you that he had something for you but really didn't and asked you out and didn't have the money to pay for it. I think thats kinda childish...he ain't a real man. Someone like that I call a kid. No offense to your boyfriend or anything, but thats just what I think.

 

[KhoOnxNouxWanxJai]

Ahh that is messed up. I don't understand why people do that. It's just not right. Agree's with girls above men don't get us as much as we get them. In defense of the guys sometimes us girls don't get them either lol. My husband and I have a very negative charge positive relationship. We bring the best and worst out in each other. We've been told by nearly everyone around us that only the two of us could take one another lol.

What my husband's problem is is what most guys problems are. He cease to understand when he does something wrong. When I do tell him what's wrong he says it's something I shouldn't get mad about and it's stupid. In return I tell him; "You get mad at me for stupid things also. Like that one time .." Etc Etc.. Sometimes with guys you have to give them a taste of their own medicine. Don't let them turn things around and not do anything about it. You have to show them that you aren't to be easily pushed around.

What your boyfriend did is careless. He refused to think of the outcome and you should tell him how you feel. If it were me I would be like, "Next time if you haven't gotten it yet don't tell me that you did because it makes me feel bad when you let me think you did only to be let down. It tells me that I'm not important enough to be told the truth to." That would totally get them lol. Sometimes with guys we have to be manipulative; I'm not saying its the best route but that is the only way they will learn. I have to hit my husband where it hurt and make him feel guilty for certain things so that next time he won't do it again.

I guess it's just a matter of how we handle our problems. I am the type that strongly stick to my opinion so I refuse to let anyone tell me especially my husband that I'm wrong If I believe that I'm not.

 

[BaBeeLaiLai]

Ahh that is messed up. I don't understand why people do that. It's just not right. Agree's with girls above men don't get us as much as we get them. In defense of the guys sometimes us girls don't get them either lol. My husband and I have a very negative charge positive relationship. We bring the best and worst out in each other. We've been told by nearly everyone around us that only the two of us could take one another lol.

What my husband's problem is is what most guys problems are. He cease to understand when he does something wrong. When I do tell him what's wrong he says it's something I shouldn't get mad about and it's stupid. In return I tell him; "You get mad at me for stupid things also. Like that one time .." Etc Etc.. Sometimes with guys you have to give them a taste of their own medicine. Don't let them turn things around and not do anything about it. You have to show them that you aren't to be easily pushed around.

What your boyfriend did is careless. He refused to think of the outcome and you should tell him how you feel. If it were me I would be like, "Next time if you haven't gotten it yet don't tell me that you did because it makes me feel bad when you let me think you did only to be let down. It tells me that I'm not important enough to be told the truth to." That would totally get them lol. Sometimes with guys we have to be manipulative; I'm not saying its the best route but that is the only way they will learn. I have to hit my husband where it hurt and make him feel guilty for certain things so that next time he won't do it again.

I guess it's just a matter of how we handle our problems. I am the type that strongly stick to my opinion so I refuse to let anyone tell me especially my husband that I'm wrong If I believe that I'm not.

Amen! Guys tend to say that we girls are stubborn yet, I think they are more. Except sometimes when you don't get the stubborn type of guys then you have those kind of guys that are up all over you and agrees weather ur right or wrong and doesn't ever fight back. Sometimes that can get annoying.

 

[YM_gurl]

So during Christmas, I gave my BF a present and I didn't expect to get one back...When I gave him his present, he told me that he also had something for me but I would have to wait...He kept telling me that he's got a special treat for me and he was going to take me to the movie, all of his was going to be his treat

So Today was our date and he called me up two hours before to tell me that he was going to be on time and that he had my present for me. Well, I was excited and went early to wait for him. He was late to meet me there, he didn't have any money so I paid (which I didn't mind) and then after the movie, He told me that he didn't have my present for me...

Like I said before I didn't expect to get anything from him UNTIL he got my hopes up by saying that he had something for me and I waited for three extra days only to be disappointed...After the movie, we hung out but I didn't want to talk because he let me down and YET he doesn't know what he did wrong. I didn't tell him what he did wrong but just had let him know that I was disappointed in him.

I'm just a bit disappointed at him for letting me down after getting my hopes up and wanted to vent my anger and let down here...

Should I had told him what he did wrong? I feel like he should know what he did wrong and if he doesn't then I'm not important enough to him.

What do you all think?

omg girl. i know what you mean, they tell you and give you high hopes and at the end. you get nothing. not that you were expecting something
but because they told you they did. well just get over it, haha.. cuz i did..

and they just act like they dont know whats wrong but honestly, they do. guys are big time jerks. lol

 

[rukmos]

thanks for all the feedbacks and I totally appreciate it...

So it had been bothering me for a few days after not telling him and it got to the point where I didn't want to talk to him and finally I told him what was wrong and what he did to me was wrong. I ranted and raved at him for not keeping his words and how it made me feel very disappointed in him. He didn't say much of anything as he just hugged me and apologized after I was done. AND the next day, He arrived with my favorite flower(Iris and such) and a box of chocolate and a hand made card with a note inside telling me that he was very sorry and that he won't do it again...I didn't want to forgive him but I really love him and so I forgave him...I feel so much better now that he understood

 

[n_naruk]

thanks for all the feedbacks and I totally appreciate it...

So it had been bothering me for a few days after not telling him and it got to the point where I didn't want to talk to him and finally I told him what was wrong and what he did to me was wrong. I ranted and raved at him for not keeping his words and how it made me feel very disappointed in him. He didn't say much of anything as he just hugged me and apologized after I was done. AND the next day, He arrived with my favorite flower(Iris and such) and a box of chocolate and a hand made card with a note inside telling me that he was very sorry and that he won't do it again...I didn't want to forgive him but I really love him and so I forgave him...I feel so much better now that he understood

Aws, I'm glad it all worked out for you. Flowers and your favorite chocalate usually put you in a weak situation and just can't get mad at the guy for any longer. Or even just a sorry and a lil sad face would prolly work. It did for me when I was still with my ex. Pen poo ying jai orn. Lolz.

Hopefully he won't do that again....​

 

[7270]

you'll have to communicate with him more. even people who are married have trouble figuring out what the other person really wants. no one really knows us like ourselves... and sometimes we don't know parts of ourselves and yet expect someone else to know? crap.

he seems open to understanding. just let him know next time. don't let stuff like that boil up inside you. i'd be pissed too if someone promised me something, and nothing. ^_^