How do you express your feelings

[KhoOnxNouxWanxJai]

Sometimes I wonder why we fight to keep together when after all the other times we made each other cry and hurt we never fought then, what can assure us that this time will be different.To believe that you changed is something I don't want to think because after all you are still the same and I'm still the same... thats what prevented us from working the first few times and who are we to try and fool the god of love into thinking we are truely meant to be... I have given up almost all hopes till this point I don't know ... as much as I love having you in my life ... sometimes maybe being happy in the wrong ways die quicker than being with someone who doesn't care.............
©Tina Syrypanha Dec.6.2006

 

[owwee_its_leelee]

wow so many poets... as for me wen i'm stressed out or mad i start off with throwing things then crying and then i knit and it relaxes me... i go through a lot of stages before i reach my calmness...lol.

 

[KhoOnxNouxWanxJai]

Today is another one of those day where you let your tantrum treat me as your girlfriend.. another day where your verbal abuse has made me close to tear, but I refuse to believe that you will always be this way.. you have said that your efforts to change will be real this time around, but here we are again fighting over the same old thing... It scares me to think that I'll loose you to a fight such as this everytime we go through it.. I sit here silent as you yell and scream about how I choose not to speak when I'm angry.. but if only you knew I speak no words because I fear the worst.. I fear I will speak words in which will gain your hatred... so tell me please should I continue to speak and voice my opinions when they scare me so much .. I know you'll be able to accept, but before you can accept you must hurt hearing the words I speak.. so what should I do when staying silent hurts you as well... I am stuck in the most awkward position either speak and hurt you or stay silent and hurt you also.. I'm afraid that once I fight back I will break down your army with the first attack... what if my army destroys your wall? what if I am driven back to far from your defense attack? oh tell me how shall I forgive myself for hurting you either way ...
©Dec.06.2006 Tina Syrypanha

 

[KhoOnxNouxWanxJai]

I sit here wondering is there such thing as a relationship to perfect? After so many things that has happened I'm wondering about the things wrong here... there is nothing thats wrong is the problem .. you are a manakin in which i can dress however I want nothing like you were the day we first met at all.... i have turned you into something that should not exist.. a fairytale should only be a story told and never an attempt to recreate...
©Dec.06.2006 Tina Syrypanha

 

[pink mafia]

i listen to music..and/or sing...a song that's currently on repeat is jem's "missing you"

 

[Mike_Luver]

I usually write to express my feelings.. hehe! No one really understands my real feelings.. ^_^ When I get mad, I listen to music (Golf Mike :wub: ) to calm myself down...

 

[KhoOnxNouxWanxJai]

Sometimes I listen to you, but you fail to do so in return... Your always smiling and think we're perfect and nothing is troubling this relationship, but I wonder do you know how much it hurts me everytime we talk and you get that call and leave then return and ask me what we were talking about ... you don't even bother to remember.. if not listen then the least u can do is remember... I don't know if I'm making a mistake by staying aside you knowing you will continously hurt me this way .. I don't know if I should listen to my heart or my mind ... my heart is telling me to stay, but my mind is saying my heart is broken I shouldn't bury it also ...all I need to hear is you say your sorry and you will try, but yet everytime the subject has been surfaced you throw a tantrum and say I fail to think of us ... oh how so can I not be thinking of us when I call you every chance I get whereas you can only do so when you fear im angry or that your about to lose me ... it makes me wonder do you love me all the time or just when you realize there is about to be no one there ?
©Tina Syrypanha Dec.07.2006


My Little Random For Today LOL i want eggs and i was bored

 

[ijohn]

my message to my friend from down under!!!

..its been a day and i realize my failers... i found a friend that i can't say goodbye too...i'm sorry for breaking my promise for the things i said ... you are the only one who never abandon me when i needed a friend when my mistakes were apparent and if i love you for this,,, 'i'm sorry if it brings you pain...you were and still are my friend and i can wait a life time for someone like you who never left me standing in the rain for my mistakes...i try so damn hard some days to stand on my own,,, but i need a friend because life is better when we can change for someone like you,,, a friend that is worth waiting for... so take your time dear i won't give up on you i can wait until things are clear...and the pains slip away with time...i'm here and can i have back my goodbye because i need my friend because its starting to rain again... i'm sorry that i love you if it causes you pain...bye bye,,, real hugs and real kisses from over here

 

[KhoOnxNouxWanxJai]

Another morning where I sit and wonder where will the road lead to next. As curious as I am..I think i'll prefer to wait untill the time is right and I arrive to my destination the correct way. This life is about going forth and learning upon experience rather than shortcut your way into the future.. to embrace and take advantage of all thats been given now seems more logical than fighting for something you may not have later... life is a destined road designed to end where the heavens above has choosen to end it ...
©Tina Syrypanha Dec.10.2006

 

[ijohn]

...passages from a broken heart!!!


… passing dreams

...just lay me down to sleep and let the dreams end,,, for the reason why is when i look back at all my life... i realize i've never felt true love...i know that time has passed and i thought i had a grasp on what was real...it's been so long since i felt free and as the day approaches when i think i'm doing the right thing... i just want to lay down and end my dreams...i'm tired and i'm all out of smiles to hide the true heart break that's been with me all of my life... i want to quit pretending i enjoy my life and just lay down and sleep and end the dreams before someone takes them away again and they see my true heart break...

...each sunset brings new meaning if we learn from our past and at tomorrows sunrise we can find new dreams if we just know how to let go of the past and how it defines us at each days end...


P.S. islu P&J

 

[juicyfruit]

I just talk to noone but myself....so they all know how I feel....lol

...............
CRAZY ><

 

[KhoOnxNouxWanxJai]

bleh another leaf falls off the tree but yet is the leaf or the actual root the true life of the tree? for me i would choose the leaf because leaves die when the season changes ... and life dies as it ages.... but the root of the tree is the beginning of all cause like birth is the root of all life .. sigh and soon another leaf must fall of its home and tree

 

[ijohn]

hurt...

...the new year will begin with rain in the wilderness where she can't see him anymore because she never stops anymore to look inside the heart that still beats in silence,,, since she went away... she will never really see how he feels alone... love is still in his heart for the brief passing in the year when they met on the days the sun shined... the past and the sunshine are not really there anymore for them,,, they are washed away by the tears left in the streams of life that never will be notice for all that he will hide inside since she went away... the love he feels for her,,, he is sorry for being someone different when the sun came out on those days they first met... but he still loves her in silence...

P.S. islu P&J

 

[maiv]

i play my music really loud when i'm pissed off to drown out everyone...don't know why, but it calms me down

 

[ijohn]

...i have it bad...traffic was all around on this friday afternoon when i felt this pain...i saw her...she was slick,,, bodylines well defined... silver...the color was not what i saw... i only felt the wind rush by as she escaped into traffic like a thoroughbred race horse dodging all those around to find her space... she was silent but she matched my thoughts from yesterday,,, free spirit in the traffic as i escaped my boredom and the fact i miss her so much... this traffic defined her in my mind,,, she was getting away from me and all i could feel was helpless before the light turned green... she was gone and i snapped back to reality and quickly found my place in traffic but not before i realized ... i have it bad... i still love her the one that got away my best friend... :wub:

 

[KhoOnxNouxWanxJai]

We loved each other once we love each other now.. I refuse to give our memories up. Its lately I've been getting visited by the things we once discussed .. the times you made me smile.. I try to forget of all the bad and remember the good and so far its working fairly fine ... I just want you to know .. no where in my heart nor mind has forgotten you.. You still remain apart of the wonderful parts in my memories.. Deeply I think of you and miss you, but deeply I also know you're happy and quite well. ... Just remember as you read that you have not been erased from my memories you still stand an amazing friend and past love .. I love you dear one don't you forget and once doubt it ... for you will always be apart of this ignorant young girl's mind and memories

one of my randomly blabs again hehee
~~~Tina Syrypanha 12.29.2006 &copy;

 

[KhoOnxNouxWanxJai]

Lost and Confused I Promised myself and you I will not repeat the process as we have been for the last two years apart and with someone else .. but you show no remorse for hurting me as you did yesterday, but I cannot blame you nor anyone else.. my heart is in the right place at this point or so I highly believe, but what can I do if you are the one continuing to break the promises you made, but I cannot go through another few months, weeks , even days where you neglect to see where you're wrong....At this point I have no right to complain since I chose you all over again knowing how you were in the past and the possibility that you have not changed.. Regardless of the times I cause my own weariness in all of this .. I must say .. I do not regret or wish to turn back on any of the choices I made... For I know deep within my heart.. I chose what my heart desires most ...
©Tina Syrypanha-01.01.07



Blah Randomness

 

[_sai]

music & shower

theres always music to suit your mood [heart broken, anger, lonely etc]. then go shower/bath to clense the negative emotions, or just cool me down. give me time to think and bring things to perspective. or just cry in the shower pretending im doing an MV.. and im the main character ofcourse

oh oops. am i suppose to write like a lil blog about my feelings? i thought the thread was asking HOW i would express my feelings..anywayz, its late, im sleepy... hehe.. sorry

 

[ijohn]

...i will just fade away to my resting place as the words she spoke to me
fade from being part of me...


P.S. islu P&J

 

[KhoOnxNouxWanxJai]

I didn't wanna admit that you did what you did, but regardless of how much I try to deny and wish the mistakes away .. they happened and there is no turning back.. although deepest within my thoughts you remain.. I can't get you off my mind although my heart belongs to someone else.. how is that even possible? am I wrong? am a girl all should despise? I didn't think it'll be possible to love one but miss one .. maybe I'm just a girl not worth having any at all... but I tell you one thing I still miss those moments you made me smile and cry.. even though we may be apart as of this moment and so forth .. I will always have you deep within my heart. I hope you know of how much I miss you so.. but its better off that you don't know .. because its better off that things between us are this way.. so I won't repeat the same mistakes and forgive you for the way you turned my heart into a puzzle...
©Tina Syrypanha-01.29.2007

haven't been on this thread for awhile so thought I'd write a random