How soon is too soon?

[dark_angel22]

I always wondered what people's opinion and experience are regarding moving in with your significant other and "doing the do". We all know the ol' skool or older heads always want you to wait until you get married to move in with your signifcant other. That and especially, having sex. With that being said,

How long did you waited or dated before you moved him with your man or woman? Or how long would you wait?

How long before you "did the do"? Or what is considered "long enough" or "not too soon"

This is real talk, adult talk. It is not putting anyone on blast and you won't be judge, not by me anyways. I'm open minded and besides I don't cast stone *wink, wink*

 

[anan]

[...] Or how long would you wait? [...]

i'm kinda from the ol' skool lol,,,
so,,,, no social intercourse before the wedding ^_^, and don't mind to wait...

 

[thai-lakorn-fan-forever]

with my first bf, I waited 8 months before getting intimate...but I never moved in with him.

with my current guy, I waited until the 7th date (nearly 4 months into the relationship) before getting intimate, and we've been together for close to three years now.

personally, I think anything before 3 months is too fast...two months is the absolute minimum for me...

 

[7270]

I've been with my girl for almost a year, & I don't really care about doing the deed at all. As for moving in, as long as you're able to be a couple and yet remain independent and responsible, then you can move in any time.

 

[lady0fdarkness]

We're going on 7 years now.

We did "the deed" after 6 months of dating, moved in together, had our daughter, bought a house, and it just keeps getting better and better.

It's the future now, no time for old school.

 

[sajenna]

"do it" when you're ready to "do it", if we listen to our parents, sex is forbidden (except for married people) , talking about it is forbidden (we are young and innocent girls)... as for me, even if i have a boyfriend and use to have i never "did it" not because i want to be a typical asian girls but just because i'm not ready yet.

 

[Cupid Candy]

I would wait til marriage..........my ex-friend she was only 14 when she got real close to her bf, she was rolling on the ground "doing it" with him on school grounds and she was a smart asian child. They made out and had sex at school i stopped being friends with her cause me and her boyfriend hate each other. :angry:

 

[PhoneO_5]

It's the future now, no time for old school.

Your comment made me laugh

I say everything is up to the person. Never had a bf...& I'm getting older by the day. So, can't give any advice

 

[ohitsnoyyy]

okay here's my 2 cent:

When I was younger, I told myself I would wait until I get married. It only seemed like a good idea. However, all these questions of "what if my husband suck in bed!? or What if I suck in bed!?" popped into my head & I just realize that you don't have to wait to marriage. If you think you're ready for the dirty deed with your boyfriend/girlfriend, then go for it. Just as long as there's no pressure from your boyfriend/girlfriend then it should be fine.

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 9 months. We have been friends for 5 years but then We started talking for 4 months before we made it official & within a month in we did the deed (he was my first).I should have waited a bit longer before we did it but I don't regret it. He didn't force me into it. It might have been a bit too soon but I felt I was ready for it. If you think you're ready, then go for it. Just as long as you use protection!

 

[*Ice*]

Oh gosh I guess I shouldnt say mine then :L

Oh wth.. lol My current person I am seeing I met her online.... from an old friend from school who I have not seen for about 5 years, she tells me hey look this is my cousin from US. I was like WOW! Then I met her a week later, we went to a club, didn't get drunk and yeah... done the business lol four times infact within two days... anddddd erm now we talk every day that shes now gone back to US. but we gonna visit each other and hopefully see where that goes. :L It was something I wasnt expecting any way

 

[Sugarlya]

It's an interesting question, I always wondered if every asian people respect the culture/tradition "nothing before wedding", and if I was the only one who is kind of rebellious girl LOL.

i think the right time is when you are sure that it's a good person for you, he is sincere and thinks more about love and your future life together than sex.

I regret my first time because he wasn't good as I thought.. I don't mean in bed ! but his personality, he was a great liar, immature and unfaithful. We ve waited 6 or 7 months. And it wasnt enough to see the truth about someone. So after the break up, I vow/swear to myself that I will obey and listen to my parents, if they forbid to do this before wedding, it was really for me, to avoid being sad or getting regrets...

But now I am with my bf for almost 2 years and I'm happy. I broke the vow that I made but I know him for more than 3 years so....I know who he is and I can't regret, even if we break up for any reason.

 

[sabaidee_keo]

I think one should at least wait til they finish school, so that they won't get side-tracked. But once you're an adult, then you are entitled to do what you wanna do lol. When you're over 21, I think it's okay to move out of your parents house...or with your bf & do whatever.

But I'm 24...and still live with my parents... they don't want me to leave until I find the right guy to ask for my hand in marriage :blink: but I'm in no rush for these things..lol

 

[anan]

I think one should at least wait til they finish school, so that they won't get side-tracked. But once you're an adult, then you are entitled to do what you wanna do lol. When you're over 21, I think it's okay to move out of your parents house...or with your bf & do whatever.

But I'm 24...and still live with my parents... they don't want me to leave until I find the right guy to ask for my hand in marriage :blink: but I'm in no rush for these things..lol

Every thing is relative, adult (legally) there mean 21, but here it's 18... :tease:...hehe
It good to know that there are few conservative gurls here ,
and ur parents are right !,,, .... it's understandable

 

[noungning]

interesting thread... how soon is too soon?

i think having sex is not something that can be judged depending on time... if you're ready, you're ready... just like others said, use some protection or know your consequences and being able to deal with it if it happens. this for all genders - ready for sexual transmitted diseases, pregnancy, and etc.

in my opinion on age, if you're ready to have sex, you better be ready to be responsible for your actions.

as for moving in, i honestly think that's one of the best things to do before marriage. you get to know each other to a deeper level than just swift 4-5 hrs, or being on the phone or texting. having to spend almost all of your time out of work/school with another person as if they're your family will allow you to see if you're truly compatible.

i think it'd be truly horrifying to marry someone and discover i can't stand their sleeping habbits or nasty hygientic issues. :sick:

 

[anan]

i think it'd be truly horrifying to marry someone and discover i can't stand their sleeping habbits or nasty hygientic issues. :sick:

LOL.... :coverlaf: !!! lol, better not trust the surface of the iceberg

Like the old proverb said.... Love is blind, but marriage gives back ur sight LOLLL

 

[fun]

sleep with him but not do it, there at least you will know if they have some kind of bad sleeping habit or bad hygiene. there are ways you can find out without actually doing it with the person.

i say wait after marriage but just know if you decided to do it before hand, be prepared for the consequences.

another note, if the person sucks in bed after marriage, they can always learn.

 

[noungning]

sleep with him but not do it, there at least you will know if they have some kind of bad sleeping habit or bad hygiene. there are ways you can find out without actually doing it with the person.

i say wait after marriage but just know if you decided to do it before hand, be prepared for the consequences.

another note, if the person sucks in bed after marriage, they can always learn.

lol you must've took my post literally. i mean all his bad habbits, not just sleeping habbits. hygiene issues aren't just showering... i'm talking about everything. how this person is at home, does he clean up after himself. is he expecting me to become his slave after marriage. many, many things besides sex.

just sleeping beside someone without sex is kosher too if you would prefer... but ultimately sex happens. and i said someone can do it when they are ready... but living with someone is just prepping to be together forever with legal bonding.

also, there are people who just chooses to live with each other without ever marrying... i think that's probably the easy route to not interfere with finances

 

[pangmoua]

Your comment made me laugh

I say everything is up to the person. Never had a bf...& I'm getting older by the day. So, can't give any advice

same here never had a bf so i can't really say anything much about that but from my preference, i would strongly wait until marriage because i want my husband to be my first and that's the one i would spend my whole life with. i was raised with the nail stuck in my head about doing the deed, only do the deed after you're marry. i was raise by the old way, saving yourself for your husband and if you do it before you married, you'll disrespect your parents and the one you'll be spending your life with. besides i know i don't have to gut and willpower to disrespect my parents or ruin their reputation. just my opinion, don't anyone begin throwing rocks at me...

as far as moving in with each other, i kind of like the idea. living together but not doing the deed to see how it would be before you both make the decision to bond as one soul.

 

[pbv]

I guess I'm more modern than most but I say do whatever whenever as long as you're at the stage in your life where you're competent and cognizant of the consequences. So if you're 15 and asking these questions, I say reconsider. If you're 23 and asking these questions, I say you know yourself best.