Long distance relationships....

[soupansa]

I'm in a very long distance relationship. He lives in a different country. BUT, I am super happy :wub: & I know I can trust him...but the thing is he doesn't trust me. I'm moving to where he is in four months & he thinks that I will find someone better than him by then and won't want to go live there. Is that normal or no? Help? Advice? Opinions?

 

[saonoy03]

hmmmm, well im in a long distance myself and i know that it is hard to trust that person. i think its normal for the guy to think that but when u are in a long distance relationship trust is the main key and if he doesnt trust you, lets just hope he dont start accusing you of stuff cuz that would be really hard on you and annoying!! but if ya really want to be together it is possible, he just needs to trust you a bit more and its only four months away, he'll just have to wait and see if you'll be there.. time will help decide and the longer you guys been together he might realize that you are for real about going there.

 

[KhoOnxNouxWanxJai]

grl i totally feel yah once i was with my bf and he had to move to another country for a few months and we completely fell apart because he didn't trust me ... he was accusing and everything, but what i can say is its normal.. and do you guys argue alot? I'm sorry I have to say this but he may be insecure.. I don't know your boyfriend nor I dare generalize, but from what I see long distance relationships one of the two is insecure... and normally they just find reasons to get angry at u.. so that u can baby them... when you get into a long distance relationship you have to realize so much going into it like with me when my bf had first move I had no idea he was coming back ... but the thing u have to think ab is

1. are you ready for the emotional comittment
2. are you ready for the arguements
3. are you ready to listen and at the same time be heard


im not saying is all like mines, but its good to be vary ... not all relationships are the same because not everyone is the same ... u have to jus think ab what ur doing... and communication is the main factor... always make sure u talk to him and listen to him as he should do for you.. because the fact that their so far away is already a problem .. no need to have other problems to tear a deeper hole in that thin sheet...

 

[Nameless]

if you're goin' there, why is he doubting you?

 

[Mike_Luver]

Hmmm.. I'm actually in this situation right now, well, actually, not really anymore. I was couple days ago. But my case is a little different. WEll, let's start like this, he's in Thailand right now and I'm here, in Florida <_< (Wish I could be in Thailand too :lmao: ) We promise to always remember each other and remember to call or e-mail each other. (realize, we didn't promise to love each other forever) I don't really believe in the word "Forever" in love. I don't know, I'm still young and still haven't found it. It's only my opinion. It's up to u to decide whether u believe it or not. But I "knew" that I can trust him. We trusted each other so much. But I found a picture of him and another girl couple days ago, before that, I've always believed in true love and forever in love, after that, Psh! Not anymore! Grrrrr :arrg: He hurt my feelings, he didn't do what he promised, I e-mailed him so many times, he never reply and he probably already forgotten about me. I will never trust any guy ever again! :angry:

But the thing about ur case is that, u have to gain his trust. It's all up to ur love toward him and his love toward u. If he truely love u, he'll understand u when u explain to him and tell u how much u love him. He probably don't trust u because he loves u too much. B) u know how guys are, they get jealous easily (well, most do) How long have he been away anyway? I mean, only 4 months until u move there with him, like what Nameless said, why is he even doubting in ur love toward him anyway? Guys...so hard to understand..

 

[1-lUv3-y0u]

HM...SHOULDN'T HE BE HAPPY THAT YOUR MOVING THAT WAY YOU DONT KNOW ANYONE AND BE A LONER AND LIKE YOU WONT HIT ON ANYONE OR ANYTHING RITE?? HAHA

WELL W/E HAPPENS GOOD LUCK TO YOU GUYS =)

 

[dynomite]

The reason he must think this, is because you are hot, and he is not. So of course, you have a nice future and selection of men. THere is never a short supply of us. So he is worried. He must be really infatuated with you.

Cute... puppy love is nice.

 

[noungning]

eh, i guess if i don't answer to this thread, it'd be odd because i face the long distance relationship battle also.

i too, am dating someone in thailand, and i live here in the states, it's been a few months into the relationship, long distance sucks when you long to hold on to your loved one when you feel like you have no one in this world. but anyways, the relationship is strong, and i do believe it's more to it than love, it's a lot of trust and honesty. my bf jokes around a lot about not trusting me but he does [well, unless he just jokes about it, but it's real, well i'm sure he does wonder what i really do] but then again, i've changed many things so he'd "trust" my behaviors more. i've been a bit more on the half and half also. i trust him, but i've also doubt him bacause of various things such as people's words. but i know, i know, i shouldn't let people's crap bring me down, but i guess it does sometimes, especially my parents.

other than that, i'm gonna see him in 5 more months. though we both wish it was earlier than that but it's impossible and for the best is to hold on tight to what we have now. i don't think he would start crap with me because i will not tolerate crap. lol if you know me, i'm not such an submissive person and do not like handling oppressive people. so best of all we balance, if i lack something he tries to tell me i do and if it's reasonable i'll consider it.

ya long distance relationships stinks, but who's in the position to judge besides those in it? -_-

 

[owwee_its_leelee]

i'm in a long distance relationship too...but not as far away as ya'll... im in tx and my bf is in cali.... it's been almost a year now and he sometimes says that i might leave him for someone better... and i think that wen the guy says that is not that they don't trust u is that he feels insecure about himself.... i mean it's kinda hard wen ur so far away and so many ppl you get to see and meet so he's just feeling kinda iffy u know.... but since ur moving there with him then he has nothing to worry about ...but then again he's scared like wat if u run into someone and they change ur mind... but he's gotta realize that u love him and that ur putting everything on the line to be with him.....and that u trust him so why can't he trust you.... all i can say is have faith and keep ur head up.... i mean my cousin the one i looked up to was in a long distance relationship with her now husband for 4 years cause he's in the marines so he was in another country... and it is hard to try and keep things strong wen u have ppl telling u crap about wat ur parnter could be doing....but i think ppl who say stuff like that either wanna get with you are afraid to put themselves in ur place..... ok ok... i duno if that makes sense...but i'ma end this now gotta go back to studying..grr.

 

[KhoOnxNouxWanxJai]

yeahs agree with ning and p'malee the thing about long distance relationships is with my ex he was insecure about how after he moved I met so many people daily cause of school and when i use to work and he got scared that maybe someone might intrigue me more than he did... he often felt of himself very low because all he did was work and spend time with his family no time for a social circle unlike me who back then was a very social person.. I mean I was to an extent and we would sometimes not talk for weeks because I'd be so busy but then i started staying home and etc because of him and I guess the feeling caught on and the past few years I haven't been wanting to leave my house other than my parents are an obstacle but I love staying home <33 as for him now hes in a relationship that is long distance again and he treats her with the same stuffs and insecure about himself even though from start she is the type of girl that stays home and does nothing... so I guess thats just a persons problem ... you can't trust anyone much if your to insecure with yourself ...

Sad thing ab that relationship he broke up with me while he was overseas because he didn't like how i went out to much well he was in another country couldnt spend time with me anymore what the heck was i suppose to do then a few months later he came home and expected everything to be normal but I was already dating someone elsee i mean 5 months ago u broke up with me and now u wanna act like nothing happen no way we didn't talk for like 2 years and what do you know hes my bf now :wacko:

 

[kymmy310]

well actually all of my relationships in the past were long distance. in my opinion, i prefer long distant relationshp anyways because it makes your relationship stronger and it makes you miss the other person more because you barely get to see them. i do agree that trust does play a big part of the relationship when you're that far from eachother but if you care about the other person, you shouldn't have to worry as much but you should still be aware of your surroundings though.

 

[noungning]

it's true that being far apart sorta tests you out to see how far you can hold on, but seriously i would never in hell do a long distance relationship again if i had a choice. it's not fun, but i guess like i said i can't complain about it because he makes me feel like he's filling up the empty half of my cup.

 

[juicyfruit]

I always have this saying in my mind...." Kra tah, kra jai"....far from eyes, far from your heart? It's so hard to trust someone even if they r next to you can you imagine when they'r so far?...I understand wut the guy is thinking and u should not trust him that much...

 

[KhoOnxNouxWanxJai]

well the thing is regardless of far or close they can still mess up .. i mean if the person is a good person then nothing to worry ab and trust is the key ive seen a couple date for 3 years long distance and finally get married and so happy together vs some people who live a few minutes away from each other and still have time to cheat and etc.. its all about trust and respect... so respect and trust each other and everything should be fine .. but once you start doubting things will start to fall apart slowly

 

[owwee_its_leelee]

kevin wat u mean date ur cousin.... and i think that having a long distance relationship does make ur relationship stronger just like swi.t said... cause u build up trust and stuff having a long distance relationship you know.

 

[noungning]

kevin wat u mean date ur cousin.... and i think that having a long distance relationship does make ur relationship stronger just like swi.t said... cause u build up trust and stuff having a long distance relationship you know.

tho it does, it doesn't mean you can always have long distance relationships! it's just inhumane... he need passionate love sometimes, such as hugging, holding hands, and etc.

 

[KhoOnxNouxWanxJai]

Bleh everyone makes good points except for kevin dude this isn't Jerry Springer ^_^

P'malee true it builds up to something more but also remember that sometimes it can build it down to something less

Ning totally girl!! lol but ahhah i don't even hold my bf's hand much less give him passionate LOve like hugging and etc LOL well i hold his hands sometimes ... lol

 

[noungning]

gosh tina, but i wanna show some love sometimes although i like to bitch but it's the less likely times

 

[kymmy310]

Bleh everyone makes good points except for kevin dude this isn't Jerry Springer happy.gif

OMG...tina...you crack me up!

 

[KhoOnxNouxWanxJai]

omg Kymmmy Really? Let Me Glue you back to pieces with my love LOL haha