Lying to Children About Santa Claus

[Mahalo]

I've always been conflicted with this. I'm not yet a parent, but I plan on being one in the future if I ever find someone to settle down with. Growing up, my mother wasn't familiar with American myths. She barely spoke English to begin with since she's not from here. However, I was born here so I grew up around American culture. I didn't believe in Santa Claus because my mother couldn't afford to buy us gifts, she's a single mother. But I did believed in the tooth fairy for some odd reason because I saw commercials where the child lost a tooth, placed it under her pillow, and woke up with beautiful jewelry or money the next day. Lol. When I lost two of my tooth, I placed them under my pillow, expecting to get something in return the next morning. Unfortunately, I woke up to nothing but the same two tooth and was beyond disappointed :cry: So yes, my childhood was a little rough. Lol.
 
Now, all my relatives are grown and have children of their own. They do this whole Santa Claus is real thing with their children, but when they go to school, their class mates break the news to them that he isn't real. Some argue back while others are in shock. Lol. Like, what would you do as a parent? Would you play this whole Santa Claus and the tooth fairy is real game or raise them like how I was raised? Lol.
 
I personally am okay with the tooth fairy because that's a good white lie to get your children to go to the dentist. Lol. But I'm not buying the whole Santa Claus thing. Maybe it's because I had a rough childhood and want my children to grow up with some sense of reality. I do want my children to have the best, but I really don't want them to be a good child so they can be on Santa's good list. I want them to be a good kid because they want to be a good kid. Also, many children who believe in Santa expect gifts from Santa. So their parents would have to buy them two gifts, one from Santa and one from them. I don't want my children to expect anything but be grateful for what they have. I also feel sorry for other children who don't get amazing gifts from Santa and compare themselves to other children who Santa loved more and gave them cool gifts. You get where I'm going here?
 
For that reason, I got this great idea from KhoOnxNouxWanxJai where every Christmas, I'd take my children to go pick out gifts so they can donate to the less fortunate. I want to teach them how to give and not take. I see so many children now ask, "What are you getting me for Christmas?" I just shake my head because that's not what Christmas is about.
 

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[KhoOnxNouxWanxJai]

I agree, I also dislike when Santa Claus is when parents buy their children expensive arse gifts and say they are from Santa. That kid goes to school and  how do you explain to his friend the reason Santa gave his friend a PS4, but not him? I mean was he not good enough to receive such an extravagant gift from Santa? Parents should get their children "practical things" from "Santa" if they choose to tell their children about Santa. Also how would your own children feel going to school and he got a PS4, but his friend didn't? Possibility to create a sense of entitlement? Like he deserved it more than his friend? But why? 

 

[Prakaidao]

Well said, hmmm I wasn't born in the US, moved where from Thailand when I was six, so my family never got the whole Santa Clause thing until now. It was my "Americanized" cousins who excited us about Christmas and I actually believed it. It was nice and eventually came to realize that it wasn't that big of a deal. Lol yes I grew up w/o all of those western traditions, and until now we still barely celebrate thanksgiving just by ourselves. Yep this year my family's not doing any Christmas things such as a tree (since we moved and didn't want to haul it around), but we all understand. I guess if you're brought up knowing that you can't get valuables things easily, you'll be more appreciative and don't need to expect anything expensive or just anything at all. Just volunteered at at nursing home and man I felt so bad about myself and for others too. Yeah, holiday isn't all lights and Christmas Carols.

 

[KhoOnxNouxWanxJai]

Not even going to lie, it annoys me when people accuse me of not loving my son because I don't plan on buying him anything special for Christmas. He will be 5 month, clean diapers, clean clothes, milk, and being put down for nappy time. Those all he knows and feels content with lol. Heck sometimes he even rolls over for fun! For reals though he would probably be more interested in the Present Wrapper than the actual gift (Unless its like a bag or more paper, anything that crinkles) lol. 

 

[tgamber]

Well, I'm like you guys. The odd one in the family. My family is really religious Buddhists. So, no Santa. I just know Santa from my friends and all. If I want a gift, I've to earn it by being obedient and be a good student. As I said I'm the odd one as I became more and more atheist as I become older. I don't believe in ghosts, fairies, devils and angels.

 

[Mahalo]

My family all had it difficult growing up so I understand that they want to give their children the best. However, these kids have it so easy now that all they know is take. I know some children who request iPads and what not. I'm like really? They wouldn't even appreciate $50 gifts. What does an 8 or 10 year old need with all these gadgets? Go play outside. Lol.

I may sound like I'm bitter from my own childhood, but no. I kind of grew up with nothing. I don't want my children to go through the same, but at the same time, they will know the value of hard work. They'll have to earn their rewards not have them handed down to them. When they do earn it, they'll know that mommy and daddy provided them with it, not Santa. Lol.

 

[KhoOnxNouxWanxJai]

My family had it difficult as well growing up, when I used to live in California in Oakland lol.. my fondest memories of Christmas was this police department. The cops in that department would dress up as santa and go knocking door to door in the apartment (coverted from a motel) we lived at and hand us gifts. I remember being super happy because I got this bookset I wanted so bad (Chronicles of Narnia). Even then I knew that it wasn't really Santa, but the kind men and women at the police department. We had taken a field trip to the police department before Halloween so that we could be educated on trick or treating safety. Our teacher made us write down what we would ask Santa for on Christmas and put it in this little pumpkin box they had there. Beholllld on Christmas we get what we wanted. I remember it so vividly because it was a gift given out of kindness, but always knew and understood it wasn't really "Santa." 

 

[Mahalo]

Awww, that's so sweet and nice of them. They will never know how much their act of kindness means to us. I remember I received Christmas gifts from school based on my performance as a student. The school would send us to these special events where gifts were given out to students who were recommended by their teachers to attend. I had the opportunity to attend two years in a row. One time I received a doll and the next year I won a bicycle from the raffle! Omg, I felt so happy. It was one of the most special gifts from my childhood. I'm so grateful for people who do those kind of things for children, especially for those who are less fortunate. 

 

[Ms.Zoe]

Christmas & Santa Claus have been commercialized for who knows how long. A clever child will know that Santa is not real for many reasons, like how on Earth did he fit through the chimney, came to every house on Earth to give out presents, how on Earth did all the presents fit into his carriage & etc .

My family was/is not into Christmas so I knew Santa is not real at a young age, but the funny thing is that I have a Santa plush toy, I had him for many years now lol. It was a gift, it was like love at first sight lol because he is a very cute toy so the person who gave him to me saw that I really liked him lol. I am not sure if I will change these parenting techniques about Santa on my children once I have them but for now I think I will just tell them that he is not real, they will know about him through friends, school, teachers, TV, books & etc. and I want to be the person to break the news to them lol rather than having someone else does it. I do not want my children to think that I don't love them because I don't buy them presents like other parents. I don't want to spoil my children, it will have bad outcomes for me & my children.

I like children, but if they are spoiled & misbehave then no matter how cute they are, they annoy me lol and I don't want my children to annoy people who have the same thinking like me lol. I just hope my hubby support & execute my parenting techniques with me on our children. I just hope my children will grow up like me, I never gave my parents problems with "I want this that" .

P.s. I like to say Happy Holidays than Merry Christmas lol.

 

[Mahalo]

My nieces and nephews take Santa seriously. Lol. They put out cookies for him and their parents set up scenes to make it look like he visited. Haha. 

 

[Ncmeowmeow35]

My bf's family is visiting from Canada and the twins are very into Santa. They wrote a letter telling him that they will be in California visiting their uncle and even gave him his address lol. Today they called to ask if we can bake cookies for Santa. Thought it was very cute. Tomorrow we're going to go get their presents.

I think it is cute and not wrong to believe. I think children's innocence should be preserved as long as possible. If and when the time for them to know the truth, I think they can handle it. My bf said his mother explained Santa very well when he found out Santa is a myth. She said Santa is neither real or not real. The big jolly guy in a red suit is a myth but the concept of believing that every single children in this world whether rich, poor, Christians, Muslims, Hindus, and Buddhism deserve a gift. Then she told him parents can be Santa to their kids as well as others. They also said he can be Santa to children around the world. Since then he donates Christmas shoe boxes to hundreds of children and now he's waiting to finish up his residency then he's going to do Doctors without borders for a couple of years.

 

[Mahalo]

I know. I don't want to be a party pooper and ruin the magical feels for children. Lol. But it's up to the parents whether they want to introduce him to them or not. That's why I wonder what everyone's thoughts are on introducing Santa to your children. If you have the option, would you or would you not?
 
I wouldn't. Lol. 

 

[Ncmeowmeow35]

For me, I think I would then do what my bf's mother did and teach my kids that Christmas is not about getting but giving.

 

[byebye]

Growing up we were poor as heck, so no present on Christmas or Santa visiting down a chimney since we don't have a chimney to begin with. We don't celebrate Christmas because my parents doesn't know what it is about and to them it was just an ordinary day.

Now for my kids, I usually don't make it about them on Christmas. They may get gifts but it's rather simple. We tends to adopt about 4 angel tree kids each year so we spend a lot on those kids. And during this time there's a family in our church that needs help so we give out to them and help buy a bed for a family that's in need. I always include my kids in those things just to let them know what's going on and to help them understand that the holiday season is about giving to those that needed the help more.

My brother bought them an XBOX for my youngest son's birthday so I told them that's all they are going to get this year. They were fine with that. Also, Monday we volunteer at our church to help out about 250 people that are close to poverty level or there. My oldest son, passed out snacks and helps out. That was special to see.

Christmas can be a wonderful lesson to teach your kids that it is more giving then receiving especially kids that seems to have everything.

 

[Ms.Zoe]

Today I asked little kids that I teach on Sunday about Santa, whether he is real or not & they cracked me up, I could not remember what they all said. One answer was quite funny, the kid said yes because he got to sit on Santa's lap :loool:.

 

[aiyaja]

It seems to me that children are growing up too quickly these days especially with technology advancements, children don't stay sweet and innocent for too long, which is good in a way but then, what's the rush of growing up? Once you grow up, you can never relive your childhood.
 
Anyway, with that said, we never taught our children to believe in Santa Claus. Of course, we can't control outside influences like seeing Santa Claus at stores or other children around them talking about Santa Claus, but we were waiting for a better timing to explain to them about Santa Claus, Christ, and Christmas. We thought the proper age was around 4-5 years old because they would have entered kindergarten, their first dibs at society on a small scale, and would be old enough to understand to a certain extent yet still innocent enough to brush it off. However, they discovered his nonexistence on their own. For instance, my niece, who was three years old by the way at the time, noticed that all of the presents were wrapped with the same wrapping paper and then to add to that suspicion, she accidentally, came across the roll of wrapping paper in the closet. She quickly pieced it together and knew that we, the parents, uncles, and aunties, were the real Santa Claus, not a random stranger in a jolly suit. Ever since then, we have been informing all of the children that Santa Claus is an illustration of Christmas, but he's not real. What's real is the birth of Christ, God gave us Christ, so we must also give to others in celebration of Christmas. All of the children attend private Christian schools, so within the Christian schools, teachers emphasize early on that there is no such person as Santa Claus.
 
In a way, it involves religion. For us, we don't want our children to grow up thinking that a commercialized made up person is the meaning of Christmas. Christmas has much much more meaning than that. Lol But for some who aren't religiously involved, they can just go with the concept of Santa Claus, at least, it'll give their children some motivation to be good for presents. Lol

 

[byebye]

Sometimes with our family it's a fine line of celebrating Christmas. I am the only Christian in the family and Christmas is important to us because we are celebrating Jesus Birthday.

My sister and brothers celebrate Christmas because it's time for presents. My sister-in-law loves throwing a party in general but she always make it Christmas party at her house and then invite all the people she could think of. I feel bad at times for not making it but I also don't want to be around a bunch of people I don't know when they just drink, get drunk and gamble.

And not just that, I feel horrible having to give certain people gifts and them opening while the others just look on. Some proudly say, I don't believe in Jesus but I do believe in getting presents.

 

[aiyaja]

Reading the posts here, dang, we're such good and responsible adults who want to make a difference in the world as well as teach our children at a young age, too. Lol Sorry to say but Asian children or at least the ones I've seen are the most well behaved, thoughtful, and compassionate in general. That's because in the end, the Asian culture is all about respect. Yes, even though we may not always agree with the elders or other people, but we were taught to at least give them the respect and courtesy to listen and agree to disagree. Some others, uhhhh, they will stupidly argue their way out or try to win by pulling anything they can. SMH. Just my two cents.

 

[Ncmeowmeow35]

Sometimes with our family it's a fine line of celebrating Christmas. I am the only Christian in the family and Christmas is important to us because we are celebrating Jesus Birthday.
My sister and brothers celebrate Christmas because it's time for presents. My sister-in-law loves throwing a party in general but she always make it Christmas party at her house and then invite all the people she could think of. I feel bad at times for not making it but I also don't want to be around a bunch of people I don't know when they just drink, get drunk and gamble.
And not just that, I feel horrible having to give certain people gifts and them opening while the others just look on. Some proudly say, I don't believe in Jesus but I do believe in getting presents.

Well byebye, I say you should just go out of respect since it is family, go for the food if nothing else lol. As for the gifts, it shouldn't matter that you're only giving it to certain people since it is a "gift", it shouldn't be forced. As for beliefs, well we can't force it upon people. I often go to parties where there are different political views and religious beliefs. It is always fun for me even if I don't agree, it open my eyes to different perspectives. i say Happy Holidays to my jewish, buddhist, and islamic friends then Merry Christmas to my christian friends. For strangers I do not know what they prefer, I say Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays .

 

[tgamber]

In my eyes, Christmas is more about family gathering. The celebration mood. Not related to gifts at all. I'd rather donate to the people who are in need than spend hundreds of dollars for my kids on Christmas. The true giver is someone who gives something to the people who really need. In a family, all you should do is use reward and punishment system. It seems strict but a good habit training for kids.