here is chapter 10 everyone...enjoy... ^^
Chapter 10: Entry 5: I'm green, like a Grinch
Dearest notebook,
I think I’m making pleasant discoveries by accident today. I figure out that I can’t live with all of those party animals. I’ve to cope with the noisiness in my house & retreat to my room secretly. I just want to be with you, dear future husband. Oh god, this Christmas Eve isn’t a good day for my nerve. I kept jumping here & there in my house like a frog & I keep turning green at every single glass of wine that the girls offer me. Yuck, they look like blood! Red wines aren’t tasty & beautiful to look at when I’m not drinking them by using the same glass as yours. Jaejoong Oppa, you make me feel secure when I’m drinking those. (Even though, I know that you’ll gladly, fantasize about making love to me when I’m tipsy, ha-ha, don’t turn red now, sometimes I know you a whole lot better, then you know yourself.) I don’t feel like eating, at all. Sick, sick, sick. Araso, Jaejoong Oppa, don’t laugh, I’m qualified to be a Grinch & this time, a real Grinch. I can’t help but turn green & I don’t even know why. I look like an alien & I hate this, how am I supposed to get married when I look like an ET? Oh, Jaejoong Oppa, why can’t we make a weird change for the world to see & get married in a spaceship?! Or a UFO? It’ll be fabulously, stupid! Argh! I’m green. I can’t seem to have enough blood to my usually, flushed face. Oh god, Jaejoong Oppa, you called me a Grinch & now, look what’d happened to me? I’m a GRINCH! It’s your entire fault. Your fault, my beloved future husband. Gosh, I can’t stop myself from being nervous. This is a disaster & I smell a lot of rotten eggs & tomatoes for my wedding, they’re going to throw it at me as they mistake me as a Grinch. Oh god, Jaejoong Oppa, do you know something? Min Ah Unni kept asking me whether I’m going to be a nun, she’s so ridiculous! Why would I want to be a nun when I’m helplessly, in love with you? Oh god, but I can’t blame her for asking me that particular question as I keep kneeling on my ivory bed & talk to Jesus. I wasn’t actually, talking to the lord, I was ‘Daydreaming’ at night, ha-ha, silly me! (Swooning over you.) I was thinking about you, despite my silly heart that became a traitor to my mind! I can’t help but look forward to be married to you despite my nervousness as I’m anticipating you; & you alone, Kim Jaejoong. You were once my enemy, my worst enemy, in fact, but now, you’re my lover & I can’t help but fall in love with you over & over again! Ok, ok, I’m being helplessly, romantic & anxious minded here, I really, can’t wait for morning to come. Jaejoong Oppa; how I miss your darling touches & caresses when you’re here with me. I miss your nasty, old Christmas Eve mean tricks that you played on me! I miss everything about you. I really do. I wish you were here. Can’t we, at least, celebrate our first decent Christmas Eve together in each other’s arm? (Jaejoong Oppa, you shot my heart with the arrow of your love, passion & warmth. *Pouted* I’m so bored here without you. I hope tomorrow arrives sooner. I can’t wait to be in our matrimonial service & hear you say I do & utter your vow of everlasting love to me.) I’m feeling so nervous & I can’t sleep, I just hope that I don’t transform from a Grinch into a cute panda bear tomorrow. I hope I can have a good night sleep with you tomorrow. Today is really, not a good day for sleeping. It’s so noisy outside. I’m going to kill my bridesmaid. She’s making me nervous about everything; from makeup, to my high heel shoes. (Err, Jaejoong Oppa, I wonder whether you’ll be there to catch me if I trip on my wedding dress? Oh, boy. I better sleep before I get a heart attack from thinking too much.)
End of entry
P.S. Dear god; please let me say ‘I do’ clearly, & please, don’t let me embarrass myself on my wedding day? Please don’t & please, please don’t make me feel too bashful when I’m facing Jaejoong Oppa when we’re alone tomorrow? It’ll be awfully, awkward if I act shyly in front of him.