sister mess up

little

sarNie Adult
My older sis is mess up. She has 5 kids and she let me claim 1 of them for 3 years since I've working. But I've always babysit all her kids and she doesn't come home right away after work. She works in the casino and very outgoing so I ended up babysit night and day. Plus when she doesn't have money she comes borrow me and she still hasnt paid me back my $500. She pawn her ring with me for $300 and additional $200 and she asks me if she could borrow the ring to wear it so me sypathizing and a weak heart and feels that she's a sister. I gave her the ring and money. This year she said she'll claim all her kids. Well 2 didn't count cuz the other 2 she let them claim it cuz the aunt, grandma taking/living them. So it's left with 3 but u could only claim 2 and get plenty and 3 doesn't give u much anyway. What she did was she gave it to her friend to claim him. Plus what pisses me off that with the 5 kids were father by 3 different men already. And now she's dumping her bf/husband who she has 3 kids with and have a new bf. And the bf haven't leave the house yet and she still playing around should have let him leave the house first. She doesn't give him pride. And she go take care of the other guy's mom, sister, and his kids. Like buying them each pair of earrings worth like $1000 each. When she's broke as hell but still act like she has money. Talk nice to his kids and taking care of them. But when it comes to my/her own mom she doesn't even do that. She doesn't even taking care of her own kids. Why pretend to look nice in the other's peoples eyes. She doesn't even take my mom stores, doctors, when my mom wanted to. So my mom is upset, sad. That she sees others better than her own family. She's crazy. Mom and her live together. I just can't wait to have my own place and let my mom live with us. Let her see that without mom being near her see how she feels. Taking other moms going here and there but not your own mom. hate it
 

Thookatha

sarNie Elites
wow, this is a really bad situation. if there were no kids involved, i would tell you to kick her to the curb. is she the kind of person that would just leave her kids anywhere if u, ur mom, or grandma, etc. decided to cut her loose? how old is she, if u don't mind me asking?
 

kulyia

RUK
ican relate sister!.not my sister but SISTER IN LAW.she lives with us.and this is my oldest brothers(her husband) house.but they take advantages of u.hes a perve BTW..ithink so..lol..And, he has no respect for me and my mom and brother who is older than me(him 21).Yeah hes been forcing my mom to move out.And she finally found a house.And now he acts like its HER fault that she is moving out.Hes dumb but try acting smart.he seriously need a beating.One time he didnt drive or sumthing in the street.and this mexican dude honk.And he flip them off, the mexican guy got hella mad and came out his tiny van.And the fucken asian guy drove off..idont realllie claim him as a brother.Hes really annoying, seeing his face is annoying, hearing his voice is annying, Everything bout him is Annoying! U can say hes my worst enemy as of now and last year.lol. He bos u around and tell u to "do this do that whenever u come home remember to do it."But when his wife comes home he never say SHYT..like WTF, he tells my sister when she comes in town to visit, that his fucken wife dont do SHYT when he dont even say shyt.dumbass thickheads.What about you guys?And yes his fucken wife dont even do shyt too.but she boss u like heck!one of my aunts told me that they go collge together, and that she soo Desperate to marry the dumbass BROTHER.just typing the word B makes me Furious already.But yeah shes soo dumb too.she dont know fashion.Fashion to me is WHATEVER u like and feel comfy in.to skool every day i wear sweaters, skinny jeans and fur head sweaters, WHATEVER.old or new fashioned.but the lady whenever u go to store with her she be like "is this nice?"Ill be like yeah its nice.then shell be like "Yeah but its not in fashion."ill be like oh, okayyy...Then shell tell my sisters to Remember to call and tell her whenever NEW fashions out.my sister comes visit uf Often.she lives in SB, 4 hrs away.And once a year she will come visit like 4 or 5 times.And the Lady which me n my mom and sisters call her by (Koj Niam) meaning UR MA.cause she soo bosy.annoying! well yeah she be like She(sister) shouldnt be coming soo often.cause they live far and their mother in law mite not like it.but she goes to her moms place EVERY SINGLE DAY.one time she said she was going to work on Saturday.And it was around after noon, and me and my brother(the one older than me) drove by to asian store, and he was like"YEAH YEAH YEAH.WORK!"my mom personally think shes having an affair but u could never know.WOw, srry flks i wrote alot..=].id like to hear urs too tho..^^
 

little

sarNie Adult
yeah i know i could keep going on with my sis. She's like 35 years old already and still act like she's young. It's good to feel young but all her kids she has someone else's watching. And she wants like to claim all her kids more like it to give it to her friend. I give her money too when I claim it. Her oldest son is 16, 13, 5, 4, and 2. Ok she's not a good mom. Her 16 year old son is waiting for her to register him in school she said always next time but never do it. Well it's the son's fault too but I think he's kind of change cuz he did tell his mom that he's waiting for her to register. And her other son 5 yrs old already since last September and he still not in school yet. She doesn't clean the house or keep her kids clean or feed them doesn't care maybe she thinks someone else will do it but for her once she wakes up like in the afternoon she dress up like a swan and leave. Doesn't care about her kids shower eat or not. It's annoying/sad to see that from the first nephew already. Feel sorry for all her kids doesn't feel love at all.
 

Thookatha

sarNie Elites
omg, i feel so bad for the children!! this situation sounds similar to some of my students' lives. i'm a teacher...i guess you could say. and believe it or not, i have a 10 year old student who's mother is 21. in all fairness, she's one of the more receptive parents. she takes advice and listens to my opinions about the progression of her son and whatnot. but unfortunately, i have many more cases of young mothers that are so bad that they will sometimes forget to pick up their own children! it f'ing pisses me off cuz i love my students SOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH...especially since i don't have children of my own. my heart breaks even when they get a little f'ing scratch on their finger!! so, for a parent to not give a shiet about their own child...even just to ask them how their day was...angers the f*ck out of me! HELL, most of the students' dads aren't even in the picture...because they are in prison or are unknown, or just don't care. but i always think to myself, "what could be worst?". and then i see your case.

in your case, it is definitely much worst. the person to whom you are referring to is your own sister who is 35 YEARS OLD, yet does not act a lick of responsibility OR her age. she takes advantage of her own family and has no remorse or sympathy for her own children!! ur a good person with a good heart. but u really need to have a SERIOUS talk with your sister!! get everyone involved...including your mother and any other adult figure that would deem more respectable than her. it's obvious that she doesn't care enough about HERSELF to even be a good person. she needs a different kind of help that does not involve tangible things.

i mean, there's been times where i cried for my students. the worst is when the children wants to stay with you (as a "stranger") rather than leave to go home with their parent(s)!! there's nothing u can do for them at that point besides let them go. but i know i have to have a boundary. u must do the same.

in all honesty, not all my parents are like that. but since i work with mostly low income, non english speaking students and families, i do have lots of stereotypical cases of careless teenagers having babies. please make ur sister wake up before her children hates her.
 

little

sarNie Adult
my sis won't listen to anybody but herself. Not my other older sis or my mom. None of her kids respected her. She's not home to discipline or even to stay and say hi or play with them. So I can't really blame my older nephew for being the way he is cuz he does started smoking since about his early teens. What mess up more was that her son (Rick) wanted cigarettes and ask his mom to buy it for him. At that time he was like 15 yrs old. She went to buy not 1 pack of cigars but 2 packs of cigar. And when her bf/husband tells her to buy cigarettes for him. She buys nothing for him. This bf/husband have 3 kids with her supported her and buy her stuffs. He's a good person/match for her. He's never had a wife/kids. He loves her so much he even knows my sis. status mostly bad before he gets with her. He still wants to be with her and want the kids to be together but I don't know that they are still together or not. Cuz my sis probably have someone else. I didn't even know u mention that the child's mom is 21 and yet her son is 10. I couldn't believe a girl could be a mother at age 11. Is that possible? At that age I didn't know shit about boys or even my own body. It scares to me to have a child.
 

Thookatha

sarNie Elites
my sis won't listen to anybody but herself. Not my other older sis or my mom. None of her kids respected her. She's not home to discipline or even to stay and say hi or play with them. So I can't really blame my older nephew for being the way he is cuz he does started smoking since about his early teens. What mess up more was that her son (Rick) wanted cigarettes and ask his mom to buy it for him. At that time he was like 15 yrs old. She went to buy not 1 pack of cigars but 2 packs of cigar. And when her bf/husband tells her to buy cigarettes for him. She buys nothing for him. This bf/husband have 3 kids with her supported her and buy her stuffs.
OMG she is worst than i thought. it's one thing if she doesn't pay attention to her children...that's bad enough. it's another if she is promoting any of kind of harm to them...including smoking. as for family talk, so, you guys have all ganged up on her already? i'm not saying talk to her individually, but to have a full family conference...with everyone there. she needs to be ganged up on. seriously. it doesn't have to be bad either. just tell her that there are people who love her very much and people she needs to love more...besides herself. tell her you guys want to work with her to make things change for the better. and don't make her look like the bad guy...even though it seems like she is. just make her realize that she can't truly be happy living the way she lives. if she wants a sustained life, and a future for her children, she should be willing to do something different than just going out all the time and drinking or whatever.

He's a good person/match for her. He's never had a wife/kids. He loves her so much he even knows my sis. status mostly bad before he gets with her. He still wants to be with her and want the kids to be together but I don't know that they are still together or not. Cuz my sis probably have someone else.
this is insane. your sister has all good people in her life...family and friends who are not just willing to look after her children, but are also willing to laim them for her...even give her things! then, a man that truly loves her enough to accept the kind of person she is! IS SHE THAT SCREWED UP?

I didn't even know u mention that the child's mom is 21 and yet her son is 10. I couldn't believe a girl could be a mother at age 11. Is that possible? At that age I didn't know shit about boys or even my own body. It scares to me to have a child.
i was just as shocked as you. apparently she developed early, and chose the "wrong path". so i guess it is possible after all. ha she's opened up to me before. i know a lot about her. just like some of my students, she didn't have anyone that cared enough to see how much she mattered...so she made decisions in her life that ended up making her responsible for another...whether she liked it or not.
 

kulyia

RUK
i was watching TYRA or OPRAH and one of them said YOU need to confront her.PLUS relatives who think so too.And tell her that you guys wont always be there to back her and her family UP.Yeah okay it was OPRAH.Cause theres this one girl who is a mommy too who dont pay bills and wash clean the house.And she barrow money from her younger sis and mommy to buy a tredmill..LOL..iwas like WTF. you guys need to stop helping her so she will know that HEY, OMG what will i do without them.I NEED get my acts straight NOW!But its going to be HARD.because this has been going on for too long now.Still even tho u guys tell her and confront her.In her head she will still think that uguys are joking and theres NO wayy on Earth uguys wont help her.Good Luck..Try extra hard sis!
 

aznteadybear

sarNie Egg
Ignoring her and letting her off to live on her own is the best thing you can do or anyone who wants her to grow up should do. My brother was similar but after I moved away and wasn't around for him to borrow money anymore he changed and decided to be more responsible. So you guys need to learn how to let her make her own mistakes and choices before you think about changing her.
 

Thookatha

sarNie Elites
Ignoring her and letting her off to live on her own is the best thing you can do or anyone who wants her to grow up should do. My brother was similar but after I moved away and wasn't around for him to borrow money anymore he changed and decided to be more responsible. So you guys need to learn how to let her make her own mistakes and choices before you think about changing her.
i would have suggested the same thing had i not sympathized so much for the children. you can at least start by not giving any more "things".
 

aznteadybear

sarNie Egg
Children or not sometimes you have to be harsh in order to teach them a lesson. Like for example Tina she is totally like this she is always sympathizing with other people and forget about her own happiness. Her older cousin has 3 kids and this cousin is around 30 or so also. She use to make Tina go out of her way and if Tina said no she would guilt her into it by saying stuff like, "it's because you think your better than us now." "Your mom doesn't know how to raise you to respect your elders." "You think that you don't have to help anyone now because you have a husband." All sorts of stuff to her and she would do it. One day I got a call from someone telling me she was in a hospital and I went worried as hell then I was so pissed off when I got there only to found out that she was driving with teary eyes and couldn't react in time because she couldn't see due to the tears. I also found out on top of that that her cousin had made her leave class to pick her son up from work and she said no, but her cousin said, "fine i'll just leave him there until 7 when I get off work." this school is in a bad neighborhood so Tina went because she didnt want to leave a 6 year old kid out there by himself ... I was so pissed to where I didn't know what to do except tell her if you choose your family then I don't know how we can be together. I love you to much to see you being slaved by your own family. You either have to learn to let them fend for themselves or you give me the right to hurt your family.

Life isn't always fair and those kids I'm sure she won't let them be of serious harm because knowing how selfish she is she won't want to go to jail or get the kids taken away from her through social services. Giving less won't do anything for her except cause her to be agitated and talk more smack.
 

Thookatha

sarNie Elites
Children or not sometimes you have to be harsh in order to teach them a lesson. Like for example Tina she is totally like this she is always sympathizing with other people and forget about her own happiness. Her older cousin has 3 kids and this cousin is around 30 or so also. She use to make Tina go out of her way and if Tina said no she would guilt her into it by saying stuff like, "it's because you think your better than us now." "Your mom doesn't know how to raise you to respect your elders." "You think that you don't have to help anyone now because you have a husband." All sorts of stuff to her and she would do it. One day I got a call from someone telling me she was in a hospital and I went worried as hell then I was so pissed off when I got there only to found out that she was driving with teary eyes and couldn't react in time because she couldn't see due to the tears. I also found out on top of that that her cousin had made her leave class to pick her son up from work and she said no, but her cousin said, "fine i'll just leave him there until 7 when I get off work." this school is in a bad neighborhood so Tina went because she didnt want to leave a 6 year old kid out there by himself ... I was so pissed to where I didn't know what to do except tell her if you choose your family then I don't know how we can be together. I love you to much to see you being slaved by your own family. You either have to learn to let them fend for themselves or you give me the right to hurt your family.

Life isn't always fair and those kids I'm sure she won't let them be of serious harm because knowing how selfish she is she won't want to go to jail or get the kids taken away from her through social services. Giving less won't do anything for her except cause her to be agitated and talk more smack.
yup, in a sense, she still need those kids to claim money.

as for my poor tina, stay close to your man...if it's hard for u to say no, he'll smack some sense into you...or just smack the hell out of your relatives. lol
 

nophankh

sarNie Adult
And that is why I avoid certain family members. They know, I'm not dealing with their shit. I'm the family bitch. HAHA, actually, I'm not that bad. I help when I can, but I'll call you out.

I'm irresponsible also, but my irresponsibility doesn't affect others. I hate people like that. Even in my direr situation, I never use people to get what I want, no offense, you sister is just beep beep beep. 5 kids, has she ever consider getting her tubes tied? I think you should suggest that, hopefully she has health insurance.

My aunt is a drunk and I call her out every time, she is sorta scared of my judgments. Whenever she visits and attempts to open a bottle of Heineken, I flash a glare and she knows I'm going to give her hell, she doesn't drink around me. She pissed me off when she drank when she was pregnant. The kid turned out fine, cute little thing, chubby as heck.
 

little

sarNie Adult
my sis got her tube tied with her 5th but i don't care as much of her life business with different men but as long she takes care of her kids. now she don't give a shit about her kids and her kids are still young as 2,4,5,13,16. Every friday she go see her new beau in stockton from fresno. when my other sis asked her if the other men loves her he would come down to see her but she responded that he doesn't have money. stupid shit. Her ex (father of the 3 kids the latest) would still give her money to pay for bills but she didn't put it all in the bills. She probably used that up to go see her bf all the time and when she work she doesn't keep it would spend it on clothes and gas to see her new man. My mom so sick of her doesn't want to see her face I'm more lucky that i don't have to see her life style and see the kids every day cuz when I go see my mom and the kids are around I feel sympathy and would take care of them. feeding, showering, playing with them. i want my mom out from the house away from her but i don't have my own place.
 
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