CHAPTER 35
TWO YEARS LATER...
Nadech buttons his dress shirt and tucks it neatly into his pants. He puts on cufflinks then his grey vest. Sighing deeply, he slips on his tux. He observes the man in the mirror. Somehow unable to recognize the reflection in front of him. He concentrates hard at the person before his eyes, gently rubbing his facial hair, feeling more mature and even more manlier.
From a distance, he can hear the door turning.
"Barry?" He hears his name being called from a distance. It's his mother.
He takes a step back and calls to his mother, "I'm in here mother," he tells her.
The sound of her heels grew louder as she makes way into his room.
She gasps slightly, standing by the door, smiling slightly. "Look at you Barry…" his mother says, walking towards him, staring at his reflection, "Just look at you…" she smiles politely, "My son looks all grown now." she touches his arm. "It's been a while since I seen you in a suit. I almost forgot how handsome you are." she gives him a gently squeeze on the arm, "When I look at you, I just see a splitting image of your
father…" she spoke softly, fighting back tears, smiling from ear to ear. "Oh how I miss him so much…" she lowers her head.
He grabs her by the hands, "Mother, please don't…" he chuckles a bit, "You're gonna make me emotional and you know how I don't--"
"I'm sorry sweetie--" she cuts in, "It's just-- it's been a while since I seen you in a suit. Not since Yaya left…" She stops mid-sentence.
Nadech inhales deeply and quickly looks away.
"I'm-- I'm sorry sweetie…" his mother utters.
"It's okay, mother," he utters, giving his mother a sincere smile.
"Come here…" she grabs his tie on the bed, "Let me tie it for you." she wraps the tie around his neck and proceed to make a knot. "Barry, sweetheart-- I know you're still in a lot of pain with what happen between you and Yaya…"
Nadech clinches his jaw, watching his mother's lips moved up and down but he couldn't comprehend a single word. He tries harder to hear her motherly advice, but all he could hear was the sound of his heart beating louder and louder, tuning everything out.
"…But you gotta understand that a wounded heart just needs time to heal…" His mother tightens the tie, "That means it could take days, weeks, months, even years-- you gotta let the wound heal before you start anew…" she squeezes his hand for comfort, "I hope you understand sweetie. Things will get better. Just have faith and everything will fall into place.."
Nadech smiles from ear to ear as his mother's words finally settles in his mind. "Thanks mother." he leans in, giving her a big hug. "Thanks for your kind words…" he sighs loudly, pulling back from her embrace, "But I still don't know why I have to go to this wedding reception tonight…" he shakes his head, "I'm just not up for it." he shrugs.
She gives him a gentle pinch on his arm, "Well--You promised." she wags her finger, "Don't back down on your promise now, remember what you said?"
He rolls his eyes, "Yes, mother… I remember…
'Never make a promise if you don't intend to keep it…' -- I remember." he utters.
"Okay Good--" she nods her head, "Don't stress over it too much." she tells him, "You'll be fine. You know Michael-- the groom--"
"But I haven't spoken to him since we were kids." He interrupts, "It's gonna be weird talking to him.
"Nonsense…" she gives him the eye. "You'll be fine." she caresses his cheeks, "Now let's get going. Tim is waiting for us downstairs."
"Fine..." He exhales deeply, dreading the reception before it starts.
They walk downstair where Tim waited patiently for them. Once inside the car, Tim drove off to the wedding reception. They arrive 30 minutes later where a host greet them and escort them into the hall where the reception was. As Nadech walks into the dimly lit place, he's blown away by the beauty of place. Everything was white. All the decors from the tables to the drapes even down to the centerpiece and flowers were white. Even the six-layered-wedding cake was white. Nadech chuckles to himself, amazed by how magnificent the decoration looks. It's been a while since he went to a wedding reception and this was by far the best he's seen.
"Would you like a glass of champagne sir?" A server appears before Nadech and his mother.
Nadech smiles and grabs a glass, thanking the server.
"Our seats are near the bride and groom and their family," His mother whispers to him, pointing to the table ahead of them.
"Where's the bride and groom?" He ask his mother.
"I don't know." his mother searches for the bride and groom. "Maybe they're preparing an entrance." She tells him, "Michael's marrying an American woman so their wedding traditions are different." His says, "Let's just go to our seat first. I'm sure they'll probably be out shortly."
Nadech helps his mother to her seat before seating himself. He sits quietly, slowly sipping on his champagne as his mother chitchats away with the other guest at their table. He continues to observe the reception, keeping an eye out for anyone familiar but it was hard to see with the the minimum lighting. He listens to his surrounding, hearing all the glasses toasting, laughter and loud conversation fills the air. In a crowded place filled with happiness and joy, he couldn't help but feel so lonely inside. Exhaling deeply, he finishes his third glass of champagne, wishing the alcohol would take into affect to put a void in his loneliness.
As he gets ready to pour himself another glass of champagne when his mother intervene. "Slow down on the drinking sweetie…" his mother grabs his hand, giving him a concerning look. Nadech stares at the bottle for quite some time before putting it down.
"Alright ladies and gentlemen!" A short petite woman screams int the mic, trying to get everyone's attention, "It is time to bring out the bride and groom!" The crowd begins to clap wildly, screaming and whistling. "Are you ready?!" She ask once more, getting the crowd hyped up. "But first--" she silence the crowd, "Let's bring out the bridesmaids and groomsmen!"
The crowd begins to clap their hands again. One by one, the woman introduce the pair of groomsman and bridesmaid as they walk into the reception, arm in arm. To Nadech's surprise, the groomsmen and bridesmaids weren't wearing white. He watches attentively, amazed by how many groomsmen and bridesmaids are apart of the wedding. So far nine couples have walked into the reception.
"…And last but not least…" The host shouts into the mic, "We have the groom's handsome younger brother, Eric, and the lovely bridesmaid, Urassaya Sperbund!"
In that split second, Nadech's heart drops upon hearing her name.
"Yaya…" he utters to himself, feeling lightheaded as his heart beats faster by the second. His blood rushes all over his body, suddenly going numb. Weaken in the knees, he's completely and utterly shocked by what he's looking at. Yaya's right before his eyes-- So close, yet so far. He swallows hard, feeling the pit of his stomach turning with jitters. His shuts out his surrounding, only focusing on Yaya, who's smiling brightly like an angel that has ascended from heaven. She sweet and innocent charisma glow brightly and he's struck by her endless and effortless beauty. Not a hair out of place and not excessive makeup. She walks with her head held high in her stiletto heels, flaunting her sexiness with her confidence. Although she may seem a bit different, something inside tells him, she's still the loving and caring Yaya that he loves.
"Barry, sweetie…" his mother tugs on his suit.
He snaps out of it, looking down at his mother with a dumbfounded stare.
"Sit down sweetheart…" his mother whispers through her teeth.
Nadech glances around him, noticing he is the only person standing up besides the bridesmaids and groomsmen. He quickly takes his seat, apologizing to the people at his table. He stares at his mother, giving her the
She's here look. His mother grabs his hand gently, giving him a gentle squeeze of comfort and a concern look.
He could tell by his mother's expression, she wanted to say more but kept her mouth shut. Nadech swallows the excess saliva, feeling his heart beating faster than ever. He pours himself another glass of champagne, unable to believe his deceiving eyes. He blinks several times, biting the inside of his cheeks to make sure she was for real. And every time he looks up, Yaya was only a few fetes away from him. She really is here. The sound of her laughter tickles his stomach. Chills ran up his spine. He didn't think he'll be able to hear that sweet contagious laughter
again. Her sweet laughter couldn't deceive his ears. He continues to watch her like a hawk on a prowl, watching her ever movement.
His knees begin to shake, feeling nervous and emotional all of the sudden. A million thoughts run through his mind as he watches Eric getting closer to Yaya. Eric leans in closer to Yaya, whispering sweet nothings in her ear. She burst into laughter, tossing her head back as if she's never laughed in her life. He cracks his fingers, suddenly putting the pieces together. Eric may have been the groom's brother but he was also the photographer who tagged along with Yaya when she traveled the world. Although Nadech had no recollection of Eric when he was younger nor did Michael ever mention having a brother. Puzzled by this, since Eric didn't look that much younger than Michael. He clinches his fist as anger and jealousy slowly begins to consume him inside as the images of Yaya and Eric in the magazine spreads flashes before his eyes. His mother places a hand on his knee, trying to keep him calm. He glances at his mother, who gives him the
everything will be alright look.
After what seem like endless hours, the bride and groom finally stopped talking, the groom and bride disassemble. Soon everyone at the wedding reception also begins to disassemble, wandering around the rooms. Turns out the wedding reception had more than one room.
Nadech grows frantic upon seeing Yaya leaving the main room. He gets up from his seat immediately, wanting to run up to her, hug her tightly and tell her
"I'm sorry Yaya… please forgive me… I love you and I need you…". He'll hold onto her and never let her go. He won't this one slip away a second time.
"Where-- where are you going Barry?" His grabs him by the hand to restrain him.
"I-- I have to go see her mother…" he utters, giving her a sympathetic look, "I gotta find her and talk to her--" He gets ready to leave but his mother pulls him.
"Oh no…" she stops him, "You can't go." she tells him sternly. "She's busy with the reception. There's no way you can talk to her. You'll have to do it another time." she utters in disappointment.
"Another-- Another time?!" he throws a mini tantrum, "You're kidding me right mother?" he lowers his voice, realizing he's overreacting. "I've waited 2 years for her mother… two years…" he swallows hard, feeling the tears slowly welling up. "I've went to the end of the world for her and back-- Now that She's a few feet away from me, you're telling me to wait??" he grows impatient and anxious. Irritated that his mother is stopping him yet again. She stopped him the first time when he sought out to find her. He searched endlessly for Yaya but his mother convinced him to stop looking and wait patiently til she returns.
-FLASHBACK-
"Please come home sweetie…" His mother begged him through the other line, "I'm begging you please… She needs time to heal, sweetie. She's in a lot of pain and-- and by you seeing her right now, you're going to make matters worst. She needs her space and she needs time. Just like you need space and time. You have some healing to do yourself…"
"Mother I can't--" he pleads, "I can't come back right now… I feel like I'm close to finding her. If I find her, I can make things work. I promise--"
"Sweetie, it's been 6 months already and you haven't found her yet-- Please Barry… just come home." his mother begged on the end of the line. Her voice quivered in fear. "Give her time to heal. You need time to heal…"
Nadech lowered his head, feeling defeated again.
"Things will work out themselves sweetheart-- I promise… Just come home safely. You two will meet again and until then, you have to work on yourself before you can ask her to come back into your life…
"
"Fine mother… I'll come home…"
-END FLASHBACK-
His heart ached with pain thinking of that day his mother begged him to come back home but he remember his mother's wise words very clearly.
"Sweetie," she takes him by the hand, giving him a gentle squeeze, "Today's a wedding celebration. Yaya's busy being apart of the reception. It's a huge role in this wedding. I'm sure she's juggling a lot on her plate right now. AND I think right now isn't the best time to discuss things with her…" she sighs.
He clinches his jaw, looking down at his feet. The feeling of defeat consumes him. His mother was right.
"Okay…" he utters "I'll reframe myself from talking to her about our relationship." he squeezes his mother's hand gently and glances at his mother, giving her a weary smile.
"Thank you." his mother smiles back.
He exhales deeply, "I'm gonna go get some fresh air okay mother. I'm feeling a bit lightheaded and stuffy."
His mother nods her head, "I'll be with Khun Jung and the bride and groom if you need me."
He nods his head and quickly walks through the crowd and exits the room. He heads for the bathroom first, feeling sick to his stomach. He splashes water on his face, trying not to lose his cool. He glances at his reflection, feeling strange and out of character. His body's still numb and flimsy. He grips tightly onto the sink, wanting to do some damage.
Two years… it's been two years Yaya… and when you finally appear, you're happier than ever, more vibrant than before… Am I too late…? he ask himself as he stare at his reflection wanting to punch the man in the mirror. He shakes his head, snapping out of the negative thoughts. He wipes his face and walks out. He needs to keep his composure and fight for what he really needs.
He walks back into the main room, searching frantically for Yaya. The night was still young but people were already on the dance floor, slow dancing away. He spots Eric in a blink of an eye. His heart drops to his stomach as Eric has his arms wrapped around Yaya's petite waist. She's smiling and laughing away. Her face glow brighter than bride's face, suddenly noticing that Yaya has changed into another dress. She looks even more elegant than before. Sophisticated and sexy in that long purple strapless dress. His knees grow flimsy. Feet stays planted on ground. His heart tells him to make a move but his mind and body resist uselessly.
His heart's crushed into millions of pieces once again as Eric leans in closer to Yaya's cheek, whispering into her ear. Nadech clinches his fist, unable to bear the pain of watching the woman he loves in the arms of another man but he didn't dare to cause a scene, specially on an important day like this. So he did the next best thing, walk away. To save himself from the heartache and pain, he walks away. Finally realized that this was what Yaya must have felt like when she caught Nadech intertwine with Davika. Jealousy and heartbroken.
He steps outside, heading out to the back of the hotel where the beach was located. He loosens his tie, feeling it suffocated his neck. Finally free, he thought. Lowering his head, he grips tightly onto the rail, staring at the ground as his head hung low in shame and pity.
"It's finally over…" he utters out loud. The sound of the waves breaking ashore was enough to calm him nerves. Although his blood still boils with jealousy, anger and defeat. Exhaling deeply, he lift his head up and stares up at the sky. No night cloud in sight. Only the glistening of the bright stars.
"If only there was a miracle…" He utter, still staring up at the night sky. Just then he spots a shooting star in the sky. Chuckling to himself, he closes his eyes. As silly as it may seem, he inhales deeply and makes a wish.
From a distance, he could hear heels striking the pavement. He opens his eyes but doesn't pay attention to the footsteps until it grows louder. Almost as if it was making way towards him. He glances over his shoulder. He blinks several time, afraid of his deceiving eyes. "Yaya…" He utters, feeling his heart skipping a beat.
She stop mid-step and look at him with frightening eyes as though she just witness a murder scene.
"Yaya…" he utters, slowly making his way towards her. "You're here…" he whispers.
She swallows hard, taking a step back and staring at him in horror. Confused and fearful to move, she stands there dumbfounded, blinking faster than normal.
He takes a step closer, slowly easily his way towards her, trying to force smile through all the hurt and pain he's feeling. However his body and face goes numb. The loud beating of his heart shuts out everything in his surroundings. Without further hesitation, he takes a final step and reaches for her, pulling her in for an embrace. He hugs her tightly, inhaling her sweet aroma and caressing her bare skin. He still find it hard to process the fact that she's really in front of him. He caresses her hair, holding her closely and not wanting to let her go ever again.
"I'm-- I'm sorry…" he utters through his whimpering. Unable to hold back, he could feel the tears welling up in his eyes. "I'm so sorry…" he utters one more sympathetically, hoping she would forgive him for everything he's done to her.
As corny and ridiculous as it sound, time did stand still for that split moment where Nadech and Yaya stood. But in the mist of a perfect moment, Nadech felt his body jolt back. Reality now shattered by Yaya as she pushed him off of him.
She stares at him with angry eyes, breathing heavily and a clinched fist. She doesn't utter a word to him, instead she walks pass him, bumping him on the arm as if he were a mere stranger on a busy sidewalk.
[SONG PLAYING: BIGBANG - MONSTER]
His heart drops to the ground as his arm and body jerks once again. He glances over to her, seeing her steadily walking away. Without hesitating, he runs up behind her, hugging her from behind.
"Please don't walk away… Don't push me away…" he cries and pleads, "I'm sorry… I'm sorry… I'm sorry… I'm sorry..." He repeats himself, "I'm sorry Yaya-- I didn't mean to hurt. I was stupid, naive, childish and inexperience-- I learn the hard way that hurting someone who loves me is only going to hurt me even more… Please don't--" he drops to his knees, clinching his stomach in pain.
Yaya elbows him hard, right smack in the stomach then knees him in the groin. She watches him drops to the ground, moaning and groaning in pain. But she still doesn't utter a word. Her facial expression remains blank and careless. Instead, she turns around and walks away from him.
"Yaya wait…" he groans in pain, trying to get up, but it was unbearable.
She freezes with her back turned towards him.
"Please…" he tries to talk but is unable to. He fights back the tears of pain, trying to grip onto something for support.
Yaya glances over her shoulder, "I hope you felt the pain that I once felt when you left me…" she replies boldly. "But all the physical pain in the world will
never ever compare to the pain I felt... the tears I've shed... and the heartache I've endured in the last two years by a man like you…" she utters coldly, looking straight ahead, "I'm not the same naive and vulnerable girl that you once knew…" she pauses, "You can't fool me anymore Nadech… Goodbye." She held her head up high and walks away, leaving Nadech alone in pain.
He looks up at Yaya, surprised by her words and demeanor.
"Shit…" He tries to catch his breath, still hunched over in pain as he watches Yaya walk away from him. Her words echo in his mind. Memories of how he hurt Yaya comes to mind.
"I'm not the same naive and vulnerable girl that you once knew…" her voice whispers loudly in his mind,
"You can't fool me anymore Nadech…"
He pounds his fist on the pavement, angered and hurt. When she uttered goodbye, memories of the morning after she left haunts him. His heart grows heavy. A ton of weight piles onto his back. His body goes numb as the pain suddenly deepens to his heart as a tear slides down the side of his face as Yaya disappeared out of his sight.
I enjoy reading everyone else's reply too. Some of them r just too hilarious.
