Too early in our relationship...

[bleu_ladee]

18 & UP PLEASE! I USED A SPOILER TO HIDE THE CONTENT!

Its only been 5 days into our newly dating relationship and I am starting to feel so weird around him. Its just NOT the same anymore. He doesnt really fool around with me like he used to. I mean its only been 5 days... Anyhow his birthday is only a couple weeks away... I pretend like I dont know when his birthday is and he says that I am dumb. Anyhow for as long as I known him as a stranger/friend/boyfriend...

Spoiler

I know that its been a VERY LONG TIME since he had SEX. Seriously! I asked around awhile back then and many of his closes girls and guys that he's with before me they all tell me he wont sleep with random girls. I would have to guess maybe 2 years at the least the last time he had sex. I known him for almost 3 years and he's ALWAYS with me. He a FAITHFUL PERSON in a relationship and etc... The last REAL girlfriend he had was 3 years ago when I met him. Many of his friends said he had many BAD experience with girls when growing up and he was BAD back then. Almost forced marriage a few times due to carelessness and etc... They said that after he dated his late girlfriend he GREW UP and LEARNED. For what I've seen being all that I have been for/with him I seen more and more improvements. He dont do much as far as being with girls and fooling around with them or getting serious at all... I was wondering... WHAT IF I GAVE MYSELF UP TO HIM ON HIS BIRTHDAY IF IT DOES HAPPEN? WOULD THAT BE 2 SOON SINCE WE JUST STARTED DATING? I mean we been CLOSE friends for over 6 months and known each other for 3 years. Let me know... I hope its not gross or anything to anyone... Its just that I am just getting a HEADS UP on this and I dont want to suddenly look dumb whether it happens or not.

 

[BaBeeLaiLai]

First of all how old are you....if your 18 and up and you've known him for that long already and now you guys are dating...i would say that it's totally fine. I wouldn't say you should try to give urself to him for his birthday...but if it happends then it happends....don't try to force it upon him...if your curious about his sex life then ask him. I would!!! hehehe...ask him how he feels about it.

 

[Vamkim]

I think its too soon. Its always best after marriage. Becuase I've seen these kind of stuff happened before to peoples and Sometimes it turn out good and sometimes bad.

 

[ohitsnoyyy]

oh hunn... don't give yourself up to any guy unless your ready. Right now, since you're asking for opinion, it just seem as though you're trying hard to get him to like you. I mean you two are already dating so just take it slow. because if you give it up, then he might see you as an easy girl, which like you said he doesn't like. So just keep in mind, just take things slow. don't give it to him just yet. You might regret it later. I know you've waited for him, but just take it slowly.

 

[AzNpAnDa486]

I think it's really soon. I believe you should give yourself up to him when you truly feel it's the right moment. Have you have had sex before? I wouldn't want you to get into something way too soon, especially if it is your first time. I believe that there's a difference between having sex the first time with your boyfriend, as to having sex for the very first time. You shouldn't feel the need to have sex with him just because it is his birthday, but you should feel the urge because you are both ready and feel it.

 

[KEdoubleNY]

From a guy's prospect ... I think its soon. But if you think you ready for the outcome of what 'making love' is .. than go ahead. No one can't really tell u to do it or not ... its all on you and its your decision. No regrets on it. Just REMEMBER .. if you do .. do it the safe way ... cus if u don't ... u gonna have shawty running around.

 

[Maya_Fantasy]

In my opinion I wouldn't do it, and if you were my sister I'll beat the crap out of you for even thinking of such crazy ideas of giving yourself up to a guy for stupid birthday gift. If you don't becareful or use protection you will regret it for the rest of your life if that little human pop out in 9 month and he may or may not be around by then.
I believe in sex after marriage, but I know for some peoples they can't wait so sometime is understandable, but they have to be mature and know what they are doing and what they are getting themselves into. But you should always think of what going to happen if things doesn't work out, and what happen if the next guy comes along that you truely love, and he can't accept the fact that you have been with other guy's' before him, then what? Think carefully before making such decision because is not worth it to give yourself up when there is no commitment or anything to guarantee that what you're giving up will have a positive outcome on your life.
That is just how I feels about this, but to each his/her own, so is your choice, just make sure you won't regret it when things don't work out and remember you have no one else to blame but yourself.

 

[Lionheart]

If u had to come into a forum to ask about something this intimate and supposedly signifIcant, ur not ready...even if ur way past ur prime.

 

[KhoOnxNouxWanxJai]

Agree-
if you have to ask then you're not ready plain and simple.

 

[noungning]

curiousity killed the cat, that's what someone used to tell me all the time.

in this example, i don't know if it's curiousity or are u trying to make him happy, but why would u give urself up to someone u aren't really sure what are his needs and desires, and above that, yes u've been friends with him for years but only dated him for 5 days... being friends and being in a relationship is basically 2 different ballparks. although it might be so close u can sometimes get confused.

from reading, it seems to me that the dude there, doesn't see SEX as everything in his life and i actually give him some credit. i think that when u are both ready to commit in that intimate way, it will come up, and u are probably half pass ready if u're asking others. it's not the matter of u being ready, but u are asking for moral issues as in is this the right thing to do? but are u doing it to preserve the relationship because it's now different? or are u sincerely doing it like a gift? if it's a gift, u give it to him, and if he just throws this memory away later on in life, would it be really worth it...just to fulfill some curiousities? i dunno, u'd have to answer it yourself because like it was said above, it is your choice.

 

[Alhambra1]

How old are you? If you're over 21 than do whatever you feel like doing, but if you're under 21 don't do it. Don't even think about doing it. Like some stated above, if you have to question about it than you are not ready for it.

 

[KhoOnxNouxWanxJai]

I think that this is the "new relationship syndrome" normally when people especially girls get into a new relationship with someone they like they think that "giving themselves" is the best way to keep them;
I will have to say that it's a mistake. You're not ready if you think doing it will keep him and also like I've stated over and over again lol to numerous people, "If you have to ask then you aren't ready."

 

[u00htg2]

Do you love him? Does he love you? Do YOU want the intimacies? Is this the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with? Will he love you and care for you for the rest of your life? If the answers are all yes, then it's simple, although I'm an advocate of abstinency before marriage.

If you have ANY doubts, then your feelings and your relationship needs to be more solid before you take that next step. And it doesn't sound like he's pressuring you to give it up or anything. But if he is and you say no, and he walks away, then he's not worth it.

I'm probably like the majority of most girls in that SEX = LOVE & COMITTMENT.

 

[Lionheart]

also, if he really is as good of a guy as you claim he is, giving yourself up to him will only make him see you as "easy"...whether he decides to lay with you or not...

 

[bleu_ladee]

We didnt do it... With respect on both sides... keke! ^_^

 

[7270]

good. you'd have a whole slew of people scolding you, if you did and you told us about it.

and if you two want to get more intimate later on, there are other ways besides sex. ^_^ no risk for acquiring STDs and having mini-bleu_ladees, too.

 

[amikrazie]

In my opinion I wouldn't do it, and if you were my sister I'll beat the crap out of you for even thinking of such crazy ideas of giving yourself up to a guy for stupid birthday gift. If you don't becareful or use protection you will regret it for the rest of your life if that little human pop out in 9 month and he may or may not be around by then.
I believe in sex after marriage, but I know for some peoples they can't wait so sometime is understandable, but they have to be mature and know what they are doing and what they are getting themselves into. But you should always think of what going to happen if things doesn't work out, and what happen if the next guy comes along that you truely love, and he can't accept the fact that you have been with other guy's' before him, then what? Think carefully before making such decision because is not worth it to give yourself up when there is no commitment or anything to guarantee that what you're giving up will have a positive outcome on your life.
That is just how I feels about this, but to each his/her own, so is your choice, just make sure you won't regret it when things don't work out and remember you have no one else to blame but yourself.

awww maya...if you only you could play the sister role when i needed that type of advice!!! *sighs


all this is way too late for me to go back and change anything.. :unsure:

 

[YM_gurl]

18 & UP PLEASE! I USED A SPOILER TO HIDE THE CONTENT!

Its only been 5 days into our newly dating relationship and I am starting to feel so weird around him. Its just NOT the same anymore. He doesnt really fool around with me like he used to. I mean its only been 5 days... Anyhow his birthday is only a couple weeks away... I pretend like I dont know when his birthday is and he says that I am dumb. Anyhow for as long as I known him as a stranger/friend/boyfriend...

Spoiler

I know that its been a VERY LONG TIME since he had SEX. Seriously! I asked around awhile back then and many of his closes girls and guys that he's with before me they all tell me he wont sleep with random girls. I would have to guess maybe 2 years at the least the last time he had sex. I known him for almost 3 years and he's ALWAYS with me. He a FAITHFUL PERSON in a relationship and etc... The last REAL girlfriend he had was 3 years ago when I met him. Many of his friends said he had many BAD experience with girls when growing up and he was BAD back then. Almost forced marriage a few times due to carelessness and etc... They said that after he dated his late girlfriend he GREW UP and LEARNED. For what I've seen being all that I have been for/with him I seen more and more improvements. He dont do much as far as being with girls and fooling around with them or getting serious at all... I was wondering... WHAT IF I GAVE MYSELF UP TO HIM ON HIS BIRTHDAY IF IT DOES HAPPEN? WOULD THAT BE 2 SOON SINCE WE JUST STARTED DATING? I mean we been CLOSE friends for over 6 months and known each other for 3 years. Let me know... I hope its not gross or anything to anyone... Its just that I am just getting a HEADS UP on this and I dont want to suddenly look dumb whether it happens or not.

am i late on ur topic? i hope not..

well you are old enough to make ur own decisions. if you feel, he is the one. and you truly do love him for who he is then yes go for it. no regrets.

on the other hand, i wouldnt give it up on his b-day. just because...

 

[cecilia]

ah, giving up one own body as a b-day gift is the wrong thing to do.
there are many other ways to bring happiness into someone life.
and yes, 5 days is too soon. like Ning said, friend and bf/gf are two different things.
giving up can easily tarnish or blossom your relationship with him .. in the end, it's all depend on how he would view you too.
i suggest, do it when you're ready or seriously commit it but i believe one should have sex after marriage for security purposes.


awe, ami, if i would have known you earlier, i would have give you a BIG LECTURE.