What Should I Do

S

standby

sarNie Egg
this is so deep, sad and hurtful. I don't think you should even give him a second chance. how are you going to know/prove he is sincere and faithful this time? the scar hurts too much. he was foolish and did something completely stupid. took your body for a revenge? that's just dumb of him.

unless he could provide and proof to you, don't bother giving him a second chance if he's just going to hurt you again.

take care dear.your story is so fragile and relatable to many vulnerable women out there. stay safe and keep your child safe. let us know when the baby is due.
 
x0unerthanlater

x0unerthanlater

`my dragon's blood is blue`
And here I thought my love life was a dud... damn.
When you love someone you can literally turn a blind eye to the mountain of red flags.
Honest opinion? I personally wouldn't tolerate cheaters. BUT, you have a child together so that's a whole other level of complication there. If he's coming around and being clingy, make his ass crawl, beg and grovel. You wouldn't want to give in and y'all become a family, only to realize too late that he's a dead beat dad. Like what everyone said, file that child support case. 1. If he turns out to be sincere and faithful, that money is going towards his child anyway. 2. Otherwise if he turns out to be shady, that support will at least be your shield. In the end, whether he'll be real or not, child support is going towards the baby's future protection.
 
Starla

Starla

sarNie Egg
I haven't given in to him yet. He's taking really good care of me though even when I try to ignore him. Recently he asked my parents if we could all forget the past and let him marry me, but the problem isn't with my parents. I talked with my parents already about testing him and if I see it fit then I will give him a chance. My parents agreed that it's my life so I can choose, but the problem is his parents. They refuse to come still because of what happened between my uncle and his.

I've also seen him arguing with people who were talking about me behind my back about me having a baby without a father. I try to not let that get to me, but sometimes I just can't hold back my tears. I had no idea that being pregnant will make it so easy to for me to feel depressed and cry. But for the baby, I always get over it. I'm smiling more now because I know that my baby will be with me soon. There's only about three months left! Can't wait to see if my baby is a boy or girl!
 
tweedaly

tweedaly

sarNie Rebel
Starla said:
I haven't given in to him yet. He's taking really good care of me though even when I try to ignore him. Recently he asked my parents if we could all forget the past and let him marry me, but the problem isn't with my parents. I talked with my parents already about testing him and if I see it fit then I will give him a chance. My parents agreed that it's my life so I can choose, but the problem is his parents. They refuse to come still because of what happened between my uncle and his.

I've also seen him arguing with people who were talking about me behind my back about me having a baby without a father. I try to not let that get to me, but sometimes I just can't hold back my tears. I had no idea that being pregnant will make it so easy to for me to feel depressed and cry. But for the baby, I always get over it. I'm smiling more now because I know that my baby will be with me soon. There's only about three months left! Can't wait to see if my baby is a boy or girl!
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I agree with your parents, it's your life so you should do what you think is best for you. Don't give in. Keep holding on and staying strong. And yes, pregnancy can make a woman become emotional so easily, and whatever the mom feels the baby can also feel. So try not to feel too upset, alright. Take good care of yourself within these three months left and we all can't wait to see your baby as well.
 
S

SuzieJ

sarNie OldFart
x0unerthanlater said:
And here I thought my love life was a dud... damn.
When you love someone you can literally turn a blind eye to the mountain of red flags.
Honest opinion? I personally wouldn't tolerate cheaters. BUT, you have a child together so that's a whole other level of complication there. If he's coming around and being clingy, make his ass crawl, beg and grovel. You wouldn't want to give in and y'all become a family, only to realize too late that he's a dead beat dad. Like what everyone said, file that child support case. 1. If he turns out to be sincere and faithful, that money is going towards his child anyway. 2. Otherwise if he turns out to be shady, that support will at least be your shield. In the end, whether he'll be real or not, child support is going towards the baby's future protection.
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the best advice yet! i would listen to this. money may not be everything but once you have a child, it helps so much
 
x0unerthanlater

x0unerthanlater

`my dragon's blood is blue`
SuzieJ said:
the best advice yet! i would listen to this. money may not be everything but once you have a child, it helps so much
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Money goes a long way when you have a child. That's why I just don't have kids yet. It looks like other ppl could do it but we don't know their struggle. It's hard especially if you and the baby's father aren't in a committed relationship.



If your guy, (main OP) really wants to be in your life and be the father, be sure he gives you a marriage certificate AND signed the birth papers. Because even if you don't file for CS now, those two paperwork will protect you and the child. He'll be, by law, legally responsible for the baby.

I wish you the best OP because it's a lot coming your way. Babies are so precious and I just want all of them to be loved and protected. You sound like you'll be a loving mother. Be sure to update us on baby news! Would love to hear about the little one.
 
Starla

Starla

sarNie Egg
Sorry it's been so long I haven't been keeping you guys updated. A lot has been going on these few months. Chen has taken me to meet all his friends and many relatives introducing me to them as his wife. I'm happy that he wasn't hiding me like he did in the past. I have decided to give him a chance, but I'm still being cautious. Chen had asked his parents one more time to give me a chance, but they still said no. They said that if I wanted to marry their son, I have to pay them back the three thousand dollars. Even then, if Chen wanted to marry me, he would have to leave their house and not consider them family anymore. I don't understand why they hate me so much, I had done nothing wrong. Chen said he'll go ask an elder for help convincing his parents other wise, he'll go look for a place to live and he'll help me pay back the three thousand.

Anyway, leaving all that drama behind, the baby and I have been doing very well. The due date is February 15. Only 15 more days until I find out if my baby's a boy of girl! I'm so excited to meet my first child and to become a mother. Thank you everyone very much for checking in on me and giving me such beautiful baby name suggestions. I've decided that if its a boy, I'll name him Muaj Yeej (Winner) and if it's a girl, I'll name her Kaj Siab (Happiness/Joy). I'll let you guys know when it comes. :)
 
S

SuzieJ

sarNie OldFart
Starla said:
Sorry it's been so long I haven't been keeping you guys updated. A lot has been going on these few months. Chen has taken me to meet all his friends and many relatives introducing me to them as his wife. I'm happy that he wasn't hiding me like he did in the past. I have decided to give him a chance, but I'm still being cautious. Chen had asked his parents one more time to give me a chance, but they still said no. They said that if I wanted to marry their son, I have to pay them back the three thousand dollars. Even then, if Chen wanted to marry me, he would have to leave their house and not consider them family anymore. I don't understand why they hate me so much, I had done nothing wrong. Chen said he'll go ask an elder for help convincing his parents other wise, he'll go look for a place to live and he'll help me pay back the three thousand.

Anyway, leaving all that drama behind, the baby and I have been doing very well. The due date is February 15. Only 15 more days until I find out if my baby's a boy of girl! I'm so excited to meet my first child and to become a mother. Thank you everyone very much for checking in on me and giving me such beautiful baby name suggestions. I've decided that if its a boy, I'll name him Muaj Yeej (Winner) and if it's a girl, I'll name her Kaj Siab (Happiness/Joy). I'll let you guys know when it comes. :)
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Glad all is going well! I’m so excited for you and those are beautiful names ❤ I’m hoping it’s a girl lol I want a baby girl the most hehe

I hope you don’t mind me asking, but have you filed for child support yet? Even if you two are in a relationship, I still think you should do it. I’m hoping everything works out well for you :) Don’t let his parents get to you too much. Some parents are just selfish and don’t want to see their kids happy.
 
maimyang

maimyang

Forgive me for I am still learning..
cuteeee, the baby will be born around Valentine’s Day, a Very extra special day about Love!

I wonder about why with the money, because if you two marry, wouldn’t they still have to pay the wife’s parents? So why ask for that money back? And it’s not fair, that he wouldn’t be able to call them family anymore.. it’s like you did something wrong when you didn’t!!
 
S.J.M

S.J.M

Warrior
Starla said:
Sorry it's been so long I haven't been keeping you guys updated. A lot has been going on these few months. Chen has taken me to meet all his friends and many relatives introducing me to them as his wife. I'm happy that he wasn't hiding me like he did in the past. I have decided to give him a chance, but I'm still being cautious. Chen had asked his parents one more time to give me a chance, but they still said no. They said that if I wanted to marry their son, I have to pay them back the three thousand dollars. Even then, if Chen wanted to marry me, he would have to leave their house and not consider them family anymore. I don't understand why they hate me so much, I had done nothing wrong. Chen said he'll go ask an elder for help convincing his parents other wise, he'll go look for a place to live and he'll help me pay back the three thousand.

Anyway, leaving all that drama behind, the baby and I have been doing very well. The due date is February 15. Only 15 more days until I find out if my baby's a boy of girl! I'm so excited to meet my first child and to become a mother. Thank you everyone very much for checking in on me and giving me such beautiful baby name suggestions. I've decided that if its a boy, I'll name him Muaj Yeej (Winner) and if it's a girl, I'll name her Kaj Siab (Happiness/Joy). I'll let you guys know when it comes. :)
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I’m happy you’re doing well, Don’t think too much and Just focus on your happiness.
I’m excited for Baby wish you safe delivery and healthy child.
Remember always love yourself and cherish every moment because you deserve it.
Sending support & good wishes.
 
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tweedaly

tweedaly

sarNie Rebel
I'm very glad that everything has been going well for you, and you've done nothing wrong so don't take it to the heart. May you continue to grow stronger each day and I hope you'll continue to have happiness. I can't wait to see if you'll have a boy or a girl as well. Wishing you a safe delivery.
 
PhoneO_5

PhoneO_5

sarNie Oldmaid
Your story is so interesting. I'm glad you are doing well. Maybe once you have your baby his parents have eased down? Kind of hard to hate on their grandchild. Your baby was due a few weeks ago, I hope you update us of whether you are healthy and well. Hope for nothing but the best for you @Starla !!
 
Starla

Starla

sarNie Egg
Thank you every one for your support! I'm so sorry I haven't given you guys updates for so long. I was busy taking care of my baby and being a mother. My baby Girl Kaj Siab is doing fine. She was born at exactly 12 midnight February 14/15. So it turns out that Chen talked to one of his grandpas. Grandpa talked to Chen's parents. They agreed to let us get married, but we'll have to move out to live by ourselves. They're counting the three thousand dollars into the bride price and so they'll only pay three thousand more.
 
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