what should u do if u feel like ur parents are way too strict and traditional?

[miyu]

I came from a family where my parents are very strict about dating hmong men and they highly affirmed that the first man u date or if have sex with should be ur husband. What I don't understand is yes, I am dating this Hmong man and I showed them him and they think they liked him, too but what if in the end I don't want to be with him. I know for now, I love him with very much, but I just don't think I can be with him for the rest of my life or else i will live a miserable life. Also, because he seems far more immature to me and many of my friends don't like him as much either. So that's the downside. Well, give me some suggestions about what to do.

about your parents, live with it* lol.
but about your love- u can never know what's gonna happend. don't put your family nor friends into your relationship. lossing a bf is not a problem. but knowing the fact that you're losing yourself due to the words of your parents and friends, there- you'll lose verything. when you're hurt, no one will understand how much you're hurted inside. Sure, u can put a fake smile on... but your family/friends will know.

so my words for you is.. love yourself frist! Know what your looking for and then take other people's word to guide you.

 

[pink_juliet_kashie]

sweetheart like everyone say your still
young (so am I)..if your gut is telling you this guy aint good and your
friends are backing it up too..then that boy is a no no..its
hard to tell someone its time to go seperate ways (if your
not cold hearted) but you just have to sum up the courage inside
of you and do it..seriously you'll feel like a ton off your shoulders..

I think for girls when it comes to the first(couple of ) guy(s) that looks
good enough for us and gives us that attention that we love and
yes, deserve..we sometimes confuses whether we like him or we like
the way he likes us...its two very different things..i'm guilty of
doing this myself a couple of times...but you need to figure out
which of the two attracts you to him...and use it for future reference
because like one of the girls who commented above..you can grow to
respect someone and love someone but that won't be "the one" who fulfills you
..and later on it'll just make things hard for the two of you and
the people around you...but your still young and I hope marriage isn't
in sight for you any time soon....

okay boy talk over but for parents...I come from a very strict
family as well. Esp. when my father is the next up coming "coj noj coj ua"..
its a lot of pressure esp. when it comes to the way you behave and and who you date..you'll have to be the role model for
rest of your clan's children...I say don't worry too much about it,
like they say parents know their children better than anyone else...
if your a good and respectful girl then whether your parents announce it
or not they know deep in their traditional hearts that your a good hmong
daugther you won't do anything do dishonor them...i'm not sure if u are but
esp. if your a the 1st daugther..dating men will be very hard on them
but they'll come around...i mean they've have bfs and gfs when they were
younger..they know how it is..

now friends...I guess i'm still young..but my friends are a big part of me,
yes they may not be with me for the rest of my life...holding my hand through
every single obsticale on this journey we call life...but my friends have play
a HUGE part in shaping who I am today and continuing to make me a better person
through out the years...they've done a lot for me and i will forever be oblige to
them...so they will not pick who I marry but hell yes their opinions will shape
my decisions...but you have to choose your friends as wisely as your boy...now don't
throw your friends' thoughts on any boy out the window but don't let it blind
you as well...but my last words on friends...any boy that does not show respect
for my good friends doesn't have my in return...

 

[SonYukView4ever]

about your parents, live with it* lol.
but about your love- u can never know what's gonna happend. don't put your family nor friends into your relationship. lossing a bf is not a problem. but knowing the fact that you're losing yourself due to the words of your parents and friends, there- you'll lose verything. when you're hurt, no one will understand how much you're hurted inside. Sure, u can put a fake smile on... but your family/friends will know.

so my words for you is.. love yourself frist! Know what your looking for and then take other people's word to guide you.

Dear,
thank you very much!
I love that. I noticed that I have been very lost in myself. I want to be able to discover who I am and what exactly do I want before I want to hold accountable for a boyfriend. A friend is what I really need. Not a boyfriend! Thank you! I love your answer a lot. I promise I will love myself a lot! I have failed to love myself and I hurt my own soul! When I find the answer in me, I know I will be more than happy. Thanks again!

Take good care! =D

 

[SonYukView4ever]

sweetheart like everyone say your still
young (so am I)..if your gut is telling you this guy aint good and your
friends are backing it up too..then that boy is a no no..its
hard to tell someone its time to go seperate ways (if your
not cold hearted) but you just have to sum up the courage inside
of you and do it..seriously you'll feel like a ton off your shoulders..

I think for girls when it comes to the first(couple of ) guy(s) that looks
good enough for us and gives us that attention that we love and
yes, deserve..we sometimes confuses whether we like him or we like
the way he likes us...its two very different things..i'm guilty of
doing this myself a couple of times...but you need to figure out
which of the two attracts you to him...and use it for future reference
because like one of the girls who commented above..you can grow to
respect someone and love someone but that won't be "the one" who fulfills you
..and later on it'll just make things hard for the two of you and
the people around you...but your still young and I hope marriage isn't
in sight for you any time soon....

okay boy talk over but for parents...I come from a very strict
family as well. Esp. when my father is the next up coming "coj noj coj ua"..
its a lot of pressure esp. when it comes to the way you behave and and who you date..you'll have to be the role model for
rest of your clan's children...I say don't worry too much about it,
like they say parents know their children better than anyone else...
if your a good and respectful girl then whether your parents announce it
or not they know deep in their traditional hearts that your a good hmong
daugther you won't do anything do dishonor them...i'm not sure if u are but
esp. if your a the 1st daugther..dating men will be very hard on them
but they'll come around...i mean they've have bfs and gfs when they were
younger..they know how it is..

now friends...I guess i'm still young..but my friends are a big part of me,
yes they may not be with me for the rest of my life...holding my hand through
every single obsticale on this journey we call life...but my friends have play
a HUGE part in shaping who I am today and continuing to make me a better person
through out the years...they've done a lot for me and i will forever be oblige to
them...so they will not pick who I marry but hell yes their opinions will shape
my decisions...but you have to choose your friends as wisely as your boy...now don't
throw your friends' thoughts on any boy out the window but don't let it blind
you as well...but my last words on friends...any boy that does not show respect
for my good friends doesn't have my in return...

Hello Dear,
Thank you for taking the time to write and respond. I really appreciate it!
I have been very hurt because no one would listen to me. When you tell them something, they either laugh or joke.
Friends like that are not real for me because I know they cannot last.

I know I can be vulnerable but I do trust my instincts and guts.
I ought to know better than to believe anything they say.

I thank you and everyone for responding. =D