It started in eight grade. The beginning of the awkward growth spurt, both physically and mentally. I am extremely self-conscious and felt the imaginary audience phenomenon wherever I went. It was also a time when the innate mating ritual begin, the desire to attract the alpha male. The brain wired the eyes to be drawn to the exact opposite of ourselves. At least mine were. Who was I drawn to? The bad boys who couldn't figure out what they wanted with life. Why? Because I felt sympathy towards them. Especially the ones that didn't really belong. I wouldn't have noticed him if he hadn't begin to pay attention to me. Isn't that funny how attraction starts? Why in the world would he? I didn't feel the least bit pretty. Well, okay, I admit that I was cute. As cute as a teenager stuck in a ten year old body. It felt like I was in the movie She's all that--the rich, smart jock suddenly became interested in the most awkward girl in class. The only logical thing is that he had a bet to make me fall for him and then humiliate me in front of the whole school. Did it went that far? No. I was the shy, quiet girl that never let anyone invade my personal bubble. I realize at a very young age that life is never fair. If someone get too close then they'll have the ability to hurt you real bad. I was always on guard. No heartache for me. No way.
When did the game of cat and mouse begin? In ninth grade. There was a school dance and he had asked his friends to ask me out for him. During gym class, I heard a few snickers. Some of the clowns from his group came up and asked. I ignored them. I'm real good at that. Next in line. A couple of the popular girls walked toward me and stared. I guess something was too funny. They burst out laughing. So what does that sound like? A joke gone bad right? Want to know what's great? We all have the same class after gym. During Chemistry class, someone tapped me on my shoulder. Navin asked "Would you go to the dance with Aum?" I hesitated. Should I? I mean Navin wouldn't participate in the joke right? He was always so nice to me. After he had asked me again I told him, "Tell Aum that I'll go to the dance with him." I heard them praising him like he was God or something. Before class ended, Navin came and said, " I don't think he's going to the dance anymore." Gosh I haven't heard so much snickering in my whole life. Boy, was I mad! That stupid jerk was persistent all day. Now, when I finally said yes, I found out that it was a joke. Being as prideful as I was, there was no way that I was going to let them get the best of me.
On Monday, I heard his friends calling me "Mrs. Chumnanont." Conversation between Aum and Navin. " I can't believe you told her that I wasn't going."
"Aum, she looks pissed." Duh you think?!
Another occasion, his friends asked for my number. My reply "My family is too poor to afford a phone. Sorry." I don't think that they believed me. Oh well.
Our high school life, we rarely mingled. I was extremely cold toward the jocks. He had regular girlfriends for a month or so and then upgrade them for younger and prettier versions. I didn't know why he wasn't satisfied. They were cheerleaders for goodness sake. Our last year he finally found someone that caught his eyes. She was the dream girl, someone a few years younger than us. Me? I started dating when I was 16. I just didn't felt any attraction after a week of being boyfriend and girlfriend. I guess I was a prude. I was afraid of hugging my temporary boyfriends in the hall. Some became too clingy and I had to let them go. Did I let them kiss me? Nope. Ewww our spits mingling in my mouth is too much of a turnoff.
Fast forward a year after graduation. We met again. I chopped off my hair so it fell above my shoulders. I got sick of being known as Taksaorn. It reminded me of high school and all the humiliation. I went by Aff. When he saw me, his eyes light up. It was kind of funny because he seemed like he was seeking me out. He walked toward me stop. It felt that he hesitated. I guess he does have the nerve to talk to me. "Are you Taksaorn?"
"No. My name is Aff." I looked up all wide eyed pretending to be innocent.
"Oh, do you know Taksaorn? You look alot like her?
"Nah uh." A male co-worker named Jin was near me. I told him to tell him that my name was Aff and that she isn't the same person as Taksaorn.
"Isn't that Taksaorn?" He asked Jin.
"Nooo, her name is Aff," replied Jin. I don't think he believed us. He glanced at my name tag. What does it say? Taksaorn. Darn it. Well, whatever. At least he didn't push the issue. What does he expect? That meeting at another setting is going to change our non-existence relationship?
When did the game of cat and mouse begin? In ninth grade. There was a school dance and he had asked his friends to ask me out for him. During gym class, I heard a few snickers. Some of the clowns from his group came up and asked. I ignored them. I'm real good at that. Next in line. A couple of the popular girls walked toward me and stared. I guess something was too funny. They burst out laughing. So what does that sound like? A joke gone bad right? Want to know what's great? We all have the same class after gym. During Chemistry class, someone tapped me on my shoulder. Navin asked "Would you go to the dance with Aum?" I hesitated. Should I? I mean Navin wouldn't participate in the joke right? He was always so nice to me. After he had asked me again I told him, "Tell Aum that I'll go to the dance with him." I heard them praising him like he was God or something. Before class ended, Navin came and said, " I don't think he's going to the dance anymore." Gosh I haven't heard so much snickering in my whole life. Boy, was I mad! That stupid jerk was persistent all day. Now, when I finally said yes, I found out that it was a joke. Being as prideful as I was, there was no way that I was going to let them get the best of me.
On Monday, I heard his friends calling me "Mrs. Chumnanont." Conversation between Aum and Navin. " I can't believe you told her that I wasn't going."
"Aum, she looks pissed." Duh you think?!
Another occasion, his friends asked for my number. My reply "My family is too poor to afford a phone. Sorry." I don't think that they believed me. Oh well.
Our high school life, we rarely mingled. I was extremely cold toward the jocks. He had regular girlfriends for a month or so and then upgrade them for younger and prettier versions. I didn't know why he wasn't satisfied. They were cheerleaders for goodness sake. Our last year he finally found someone that caught his eyes. She was the dream girl, someone a few years younger than us. Me? I started dating when I was 16. I just didn't felt any attraction after a week of being boyfriend and girlfriend. I guess I was a prude. I was afraid of hugging my temporary boyfriends in the hall. Some became too clingy and I had to let them go. Did I let them kiss me? Nope. Ewww our spits mingling in my mouth is too much of a turnoff.
Fast forward a year after graduation. We met again. I chopped off my hair so it fell above my shoulders. I got sick of being known as Taksaorn. It reminded me of high school and all the humiliation. I went by Aff. When he saw me, his eyes light up. It was kind of funny because he seemed like he was seeking me out. He walked toward me stop. It felt that he hesitated. I guess he does have the nerve to talk to me. "Are you Taksaorn?"
"No. My name is Aff." I looked up all wide eyed pretending to be innocent.
"Oh, do you know Taksaorn? You look alot like her?
"Nah uh." A male co-worker named Jin was near me. I told him to tell him that my name was Aff and that she isn't the same person as Taksaorn.
"Isn't that Taksaorn?" He asked Jin.
"Nooo, her name is Aff," replied Jin. I don't think he believed us. He glanced at my name tag. What does it say? Taksaorn. Darn it. Well, whatever. At least he didn't push the issue. What does he expect? That meeting at another setting is going to change our non-existence relationship?
Here's a short update.