nophankh
sarNie Adult
First, I must breathe! Breathe!
I just found out today my aunt from Laos is coming to visit or maybe stay in two weeks (April 25). I'm pissed, I'm absolutely annoyed with this woman, though I rarely show it. I'm very cordial around her.
This is her 3rd trip to see us, which we have to pay for, which she doesn't consider. It's like a big game to her, come to visit and then when she goes back, we give her $500. According to my mother, if we don't give her money, it's consider rude because as people who have done well for themselves in another "first-world" country, we have an obligation to the support our families back home in Laos. It's a culture thing. Periodically, my mother sends money back to her family in Laos. What I like about my mother's side of the family is that they don't ask for money, they don't complain, they're just grateful.
The aunt I'm referring to in this thread is from my father's side, it's his younger sister. My aunt is freaking insane and insensitive, she continuously call us to ask for money. A few hundreds dollars here and there, it adds up. The first time she came my dad give her $500 when she left, two or maybe 3 months later, she asked for more money. Dude, it's LAOS. Five hundred dollars can go along way, what the hell are you spending on?
First VISIT:
The first time she came, I was excited, it was the first time she was visiting the States. I was fine with it. The grandparents who live with us were happy to see their daughter after 10 odd years separated. She had a 2-3 month visa. Then after 2 weeks, she wanted to go back home, she give grandpa her plane ticket and he lost it. There was this big mess on trying to get her flight tickets and all this junk. The main purpose of this visit was to visit her parents, my grandparents, who freaking longed to see her for all these years.
She whined to my parents, begged for money, and made my grandparents deal with all this shit so that she can come to America. My dad paid for the plane tickets, he granted her that wish and she couldn't suck it up for a few months. While she was here, she didn't do anything. Just slept all day, didn't help my mother cook, just sat around whining how she missed her kids. My aunt is married and has 2 young boys.
The second purpose of coming to America was to find "cash under the table" work. When she discovered how hard that would be, she started complaining about missing her kids. My mom said my aunt is pretty weird, other people from Laos who have the opportunity to come to America, they don't want to leave, oddly she does. After she went back to Laos, we found out she was pregnant. She lied to us. I don't understand why she didn't tell us. You're pregnant, nothing wrong with that. After she gave birth, we found out about her pregnancy. Like dude, you call us to ask for money every other month and you couldn't tell us that you're pregnant. How can that slip your mind? Lets face the facts, my aunt is shady.
With all the mess of the first visit, I was hoping we would never have to see her again. She rubbed the wrong way.
2nd VISIT
The 2nd time she visit, it was to visit my grandparents and also find work. In laos, she never worked a day in her life and now she wanted to come to America to find work. Again, stupidly, my aunt and dad forked up money for her plane ticket. I think they were forced to do it, my grandparents urged them. My grandparents are annoying too, they need to worry about themselves and not worry about her. She came and stayed with us and I was annoyed. Personally, I have low regards for her. She is a liar and manipulator. We started looking for work for her or course all illegal work. Working at factories, working at restaurants, all "cash under the table" work. She didn't like anything of them. She realized that isn't going to be easy. First, being an illegal worker, you won't get paid a lot. The cost of working in America outweigh the benefits. Within less than 2 week, she wanted to go back to LAOS. She faked a stomach issue and said she couldn't work at those places. My aunt was pissed. Like dude, this is what you wanted and we made it happen, you couldn't meet us half way. We told her thousands of times, it's not easy working as an illegal immigrant. Just stay in Laos. But no, she manipulated by grandparents with her sob story and forced everyone to bring her to AMerica again.
The day before her departure, she told me how her husband's family from France had just finished up filing papers for her whole family to go to Frane to live. I was like what the hell, you just wasted our time. If you were going to France, why did you make a big deal about coming to America? She pretty much lied about the France thing, she and her family never went to France. They are still stuck in Laos and using us again. Oh, for the second time, my dad give her $500. I know, stupid! My mother also gave her an extra $100 for her brother who lives in Vieng, a few hours away from Vientiane. She kept the $100 and lied that she gave my maternal uncle money. Nice, right!
Third Visit:
Now, she is coming back for the 3rd time. Her arrival date will be April 25, basically in 2 weeks. I was so mad when my mom told me today, my head started to hurt. I couldn't say anything. I can't stand this woman. I don't know how long she will stay with us. I have so much vent up anger, I'm about to explode.
Right now, I resent my grandparents who are financing this visit. I don't understand what they are thinking. I don't understand why my grandparents keep buying into her shit. I can't stand my grandparents, I might come off as disrespectful, my the grandparents are pretty stupid right now. My mother is pissed but is just dealing with it. I seriously just want to yell at my dad for not putting his foot down.
I don't like to put up with people I find annoying. All my aunts and uncles who live in the States find her annoying.
I want to yell and scream and beat her for being a manipulator. I want to be rude to her, I want confront her about her shadiness. Of course I can't do all of this, I come from a very proper family. I do feel suffocated around my grandparents and my parents are constantly telling me to be proper with them. I don't even feel like my grandparents are my grandparents. It's weird. We're so dysfunctional.
The thing is this, I'm pretty angry she is coming. I don't think my anger will subside. What should I do to control my anger because the time that she stays here, I will have to fake Nice and you can fake "nice' for so long.
---sorry for the long post, I'm angry. I wanted to rant.
I just found out today my aunt from Laos is coming to visit or maybe stay in two weeks (April 25). I'm pissed, I'm absolutely annoyed with this woman, though I rarely show it. I'm very cordial around her.
This is her 3rd trip to see us, which we have to pay for, which she doesn't consider. It's like a big game to her, come to visit and then when she goes back, we give her $500. According to my mother, if we don't give her money, it's consider rude because as people who have done well for themselves in another "first-world" country, we have an obligation to the support our families back home in Laos. It's a culture thing. Periodically, my mother sends money back to her family in Laos. What I like about my mother's side of the family is that they don't ask for money, they don't complain, they're just grateful.
The aunt I'm referring to in this thread is from my father's side, it's his younger sister. My aunt is freaking insane and insensitive, she continuously call us to ask for money. A few hundreds dollars here and there, it adds up. The first time she came my dad give her $500 when she left, two or maybe 3 months later, she asked for more money. Dude, it's LAOS. Five hundred dollars can go along way, what the hell are you spending on?
First VISIT:
The first time she came, I was excited, it was the first time she was visiting the States. I was fine with it. The grandparents who live with us were happy to see their daughter after 10 odd years separated. She had a 2-3 month visa. Then after 2 weeks, she wanted to go back home, she give grandpa her plane ticket and he lost it. There was this big mess on trying to get her flight tickets and all this junk. The main purpose of this visit was to visit her parents, my grandparents, who freaking longed to see her for all these years.
She whined to my parents, begged for money, and made my grandparents deal with all this shit so that she can come to America. My dad paid for the plane tickets, he granted her that wish and she couldn't suck it up for a few months. While she was here, she didn't do anything. Just slept all day, didn't help my mother cook, just sat around whining how she missed her kids. My aunt is married and has 2 young boys.
The second purpose of coming to America was to find "cash under the table" work. When she discovered how hard that would be, she started complaining about missing her kids. My mom said my aunt is pretty weird, other people from Laos who have the opportunity to come to America, they don't want to leave, oddly she does. After she went back to Laos, we found out she was pregnant. She lied to us. I don't understand why she didn't tell us. You're pregnant, nothing wrong with that. After she gave birth, we found out about her pregnancy. Like dude, you call us to ask for money every other month and you couldn't tell us that you're pregnant. How can that slip your mind? Lets face the facts, my aunt is shady.
With all the mess of the first visit, I was hoping we would never have to see her again. She rubbed the wrong way.
2nd VISIT
The 2nd time she visit, it was to visit my grandparents and also find work. In laos, she never worked a day in her life and now she wanted to come to America to find work. Again, stupidly, my aunt and dad forked up money for her plane ticket. I think they were forced to do it, my grandparents urged them. My grandparents are annoying too, they need to worry about themselves and not worry about her. She came and stayed with us and I was annoyed. Personally, I have low regards for her. She is a liar and manipulator. We started looking for work for her or course all illegal work. Working at factories, working at restaurants, all "cash under the table" work. She didn't like anything of them. She realized that isn't going to be easy. First, being an illegal worker, you won't get paid a lot. The cost of working in America outweigh the benefits. Within less than 2 week, she wanted to go back to LAOS. She faked a stomach issue and said she couldn't work at those places. My aunt was pissed. Like dude, this is what you wanted and we made it happen, you couldn't meet us half way. We told her thousands of times, it's not easy working as an illegal immigrant. Just stay in Laos. But no, she manipulated by grandparents with her sob story and forced everyone to bring her to AMerica again.
The day before her departure, she told me how her husband's family from France had just finished up filing papers for her whole family to go to Frane to live. I was like what the hell, you just wasted our time. If you were going to France, why did you make a big deal about coming to America? She pretty much lied about the France thing, she and her family never went to France. They are still stuck in Laos and using us again. Oh, for the second time, my dad give her $500. I know, stupid! My mother also gave her an extra $100 for her brother who lives in Vieng, a few hours away from Vientiane. She kept the $100 and lied that she gave my maternal uncle money. Nice, right!
Third Visit:
Now, she is coming back for the 3rd time. Her arrival date will be April 25, basically in 2 weeks. I was so mad when my mom told me today, my head started to hurt. I couldn't say anything. I can't stand this woman. I don't know how long she will stay with us. I have so much vent up anger, I'm about to explode.
Right now, I resent my grandparents who are financing this visit. I don't understand what they are thinking. I don't understand why my grandparents keep buying into her shit. I can't stand my grandparents, I might come off as disrespectful, my the grandparents are pretty stupid right now. My mother is pissed but is just dealing with it. I seriously just want to yell at my dad for not putting his foot down.
I don't like to put up with people I find annoying. All my aunts and uncles who live in the States find her annoying.
I want to yell and scream and beat her for being a manipulator. I want to be rude to her, I want confront her about her shadiness. Of course I can't do all of this, I come from a very proper family. I do feel suffocated around my grandparents and my parents are constantly telling me to be proper with them. I don't even feel like my grandparents are my grandparents. It's weird. We're so dysfunctional.
The thing is this, I'm pretty angry she is coming. I don't think my anger will subside. What should I do to control my anger because the time that she stays here, I will have to fake Nice and you can fake "nice' for so long.
---sorry for the long post, I'm angry. I wanted to rant.
it's a real sensitive topic for me. I know it seems broad and not a lot of explaining as to why I feel so strongly, but there are many other elements that I didn't really write down yet lol