coming out story

[sirena]

so ok, on tuesday, my oldest brother came to visit from NY and it was great to see him after 3 years

so..he pull me aside after dinner when we got home and we were outside..he said he needed to talk to me about something important and i really didnt know what was going on

then he told me that he broke up with his girl friend for 2 year and that he was gay.....

at first i didnt know what to say, i was alittle confuse and sorta like "what??"

but then again i wasnt shock i kinda knew he lead a different life style i mean....i grew up with him the way he acts the things he says just kinda make you thing about

he got very emotional and i didnt know how to comfort him

he keep it a secret for 25 years and he still didnt tell my parent yet


i suport him 100% i love him for who he is

hes a great person with a great heart and to see him suffer like that is kinda sad

then he told me that he found a guy and they been together for 8 months

he doesnt think hes ready to come out to my parents yet

and the sad part is my parents is very against these type of things

some of his friends doesnt even talk to him anymore becuz of his sexuality which is just sad


so my question is did anybody ever came out to you and how u felt about? what was ur response?

 

[thai-lakorn-fan-forever]

i haven't had any one "come out" and told me about it, but it's great that you support him...

 

[judyp]

well my younger brother came out about a year ago and i was definitely not surprised. i did feel sad for him because he told me that he felt like he didn't have a choice but that was the last thing he wanted me to feel. he doesn't want people to feel sorry or bad for him because he's gay. i support him 100% because at the end of the day, he's still my brother. my parents struggled with accepting his lifestyle and im sure lots of parents are the same. my mom had a more difficult time than my dad which is quite surprising. i basically told my mom that he's her son regardless if he's gay or not. it got to a point where my brother just couldn't talk to my mom anymore because it made him emotional. i supported his decision to not talk to her because he needed time and so did my mom. my mom finally realized that it was not worth losing a son.

its a tough situation and its different for everyone. i say give your brother some time. he doesn't have to come out to your parents now and when he does, be there for him whether your parent's response was accepting or not. your support will mean more to him than anything.

 

[*Ice*]

im a gay girl i didnt tell my parent for agessss but ma mom knows now she dont like it one bit .. its sad that a lot of his friends dont speak to him everyone who meets me or knows me knows im a gay girl ... i dont call his other friends, friends as they did not stick by him and walked away.... thats not wat true friends do... they need to grow up love is love at the end of the day male - female , female - female , male - male whatever its love!

 

[mandees ecstasy]

i still gotta come out haha

 

[water500cc]

it's good that you support your brother
i think it's hard for your parents though..since you said they are totally against it....

it also depends on the family background as well...
some family it's like...only child...then of course they'd want their son or daughter to give birth to the next generation...blah blah blah

i think it's hard...and each family has to deal with their own issues...
but man if it's my own bro..or sis..i would support them for sure...and hoping their friends will accept who he/she is as well
if they decide to leave him/her becaues of this...then i don't think those ppl aren't friends at all <_<

 

[Liberty]

I have no "coming out" stories, most people I know were out of the closet by high school.
That's great that you're being supportive of him, that's how families should be.

 

[noungning]

to me, i think that it's quite normal. i have a few friends that i've known as a male... but i knew deep down they aren't "masculine" and years on now, they are gay. for example, one of my friend, he was "in love" with this one chick... he even moved down south to live with her and her family for a year or so... he came back and said i'm gay... he asked, is that shocking? and i said no... what is there to be shocked about...? but i suppose it's very hard for the individuals themselves as they are afraid of the circumstances...

i have some more i question, but yet as a friend, i am not there to question their authority of whom they really are. i just let it unravel on its own.

 

[sirena]

ive never had problem with gay people

i don't see them as gross or making the world a bad place

i just feel bad for him that this whole time he kept it a secret, like hes been living with a lie

i just wish he would of told me sooner so he doesnt have to go through everyday hiding what he really feels

now since he came out to me i feel like were even closer as bro and sis and we bond so much and we get along like unbelieveable

hes amazing, fun outgoing i just wish people would see that instead of his sexuality


i remember back then my parents use to joke about if my bro is gay were gonna lose generation etc how our last name its not gonna be pass on and stuff

cuz hes the only boy then its me and my youngest sister

so they expect him to find a wife, get married have kids and pass on the blood line

but thats not gonna happen now and i can just feel how the outcome gonna come out once he told my parents
-_-

they are so prejudice against gay i dnt understand why

 

[cutefuzzy]

erm totally understand how you feel .. cos you see i juz experienced this situation a few days ago.

I got this childhood friend come closeeee neighnour since I was 3. Eventhough he's a guy and im a gurl .. we prractically tell each other about almost everything.We were in the same class from 13 yrs old till 17 too.lol!. But since its our first year in university we kinda seprated but recently he changed his FB profile to be "in a relationship" and I was curious that he didnt tell me right after he's in a relationship.Not that i'm demanding but he usually do that.

At first when I asked him he dont wana tell me and kept on saying that this would ruin our relationship and all and i was getting a lil annoyed and told him that i dont care who's his gf is .. i'm juz concerned on his behaviour and he answered me ..

"That's the thing .. i dont have a gf .. i got a bf .."

Yeap, I was speechless and kinda shock really. Not that I'm against gays,les or w.e but coming from someone really close to me plus he used to like/crush/love one of my bff so i thought he was straight. Despite the fact that he's a lil soft in some part but i would never think he would be a gay. Anyhow he just started the relationship last week wif a 24 year old guy and he's only 18.

I know he's feeling really stress right now and he dont think its the right time to tell his parents yet .. he's kinda confused on HOW HE COULD BECOME A GAY.So idk really what to do but to just support him for now.

 

[sueliq]

I think the way people react to this issue are different. Not to sound like a hypocrite or anything, but I am totally fine with gay people. You know you see them all the time in the world, but when it happens in your own house, your family; your reactions, emotions, and views changes.

My cousin, probably a little over a year, came out to us, saying he was gay, and that he couldn't hide behind a smiling face pretending that everything was alright. I mean i was a little shocked, cause I would always joke around calling him gay, or stuff he do as being gay. But it was a big shock to his family, who are a bunch of masculine boys. He is the youngest.
They didn't accept him right away, saying that it is a phase, and that they were gonna beat the "gayness" out of him. Now little by little, they are a more open about it. there is less teasing, and if there are teasing, its calling him their little 'sister'.

For me, a gay person could walk up to me, and i would act like they weren't any different, but when its my own family,i'm left wondering " How can one become gay? is it by choice, or were you born that way, genetics? He is my cousin, i love him and support him, but those questions are always in the back of my mind, when i see him. cause i can remember, when he was a baby, and i use to change his diaper. When he was in elementary lying to my mom about his grades so he could get candy.
All those things, that he did when he was younger is embedded in my brain, and now since he is out, i am wondering, "when did he become the person he is today". :unsure:

 

[ohitsnoyyy]

3-4 years ago, my guy friend came out to me. He was always flamboyant and I kinda had a feeling he was. Well at first, he told me he was bisexual... but now he's full on gay. When he told me, he was confused. He didn't know how to go about it & I told him I don't care if he was gay or straight, I'll love him the same.

My friend doesn't dress all girly but he does act girly. He still dresses as though he's a thug, act all tough but he knows who he is & he's not changing it for anybody. Now he has nothing but lesbian & gay friends.

 

[bugsy]

To answer the person above, I believe the way people become gay is both - they were born that way and/or they had chosen to be gay. But it's an interesting thought though eh? Each person is different and so is each gay person. Anyways, my brother came out a few years ago. He's only a year younger than I am and was the closest sibling to me while growing up. I don't know why but the idea of him being gay never came to mind over the years even though he is a little more feminine than the rest of my brothers. I, and I'm pretty sure along with the rest of my siblings, always just took that for who he was. And it WAS always just who he was from ever since I can remember. He didn't just decide at age 3-4 to become gay, ya know. Like when we role played, my brothers were the red, green, blue rangers, I was the yellow and that brother was the pink. Even as kids, it was normal to us. So when he came out, it wasn't surprising at all. What was sad though was that although us siblings don't treat him any less, he was afraid to come out and went through a great state of depression during high school. He's an awesome person and has lots of lady AND straight guy friends who thinks he's a great guy too. His mom knows and is supportive (we share the same dad but he's from my stepmom) so that's great. The only thing I'm not sure of is how comfortable my dad is with this issue or if he even knows. I've been away from home and so has he so I haven't heard much but I'm sure when time comes and he wants to talk marriage, something will come up. I wish your brother the best of luck.

 

[wintr]

my lil bro came out to me right after i had my baby...i wasn't surprise a bit..all my sibling knew he was it was just the timing of his coming out that we were waiting..i suspected he was gay at an early age..when he was wearing my clothes and my makeup.. he was different from my other brother..he was more girly and he likes to act a certain way..when we call him gay he gets mad..but we all knew and love him no matter what..my family is a christian family, especially my daddy..he really into religion. My brother doesn't know how to break the news to my daddy as of yet..my mom on the other hand is also a religious person its just that she not that into it like my daddy is..in the Christianity world they frown upon gays..but for me i am a new age person..i support my lil bro in his life style..however he wants it to be..i love him and i will always love him no matter what..some of my closes friends are gays so what the hell..support them no matter what..i was raised in a church but my belief is different then what i was taught at a young age..

 

[sirena]

thats great that u all support ur love ones

because being there for them and supporting them may be the only thing they have left beacuse of how cruel our world is

one thing that my brother brough tto my attention while we were talking was that

i ask him if he still has little feeling for girls anymore or he just fully gay no bi or anything and he said

"u can't be bi, if a person tells u their bi its not true, if their a man and they say their bi, no matter what they will always like men for then woman"

what do u think about it?


i think he has a point there, i kinda agree with him


because for example say

you have a bisexual guy, and a guy and girl like him who do u think he would go for?

and hes gay

he obviously will go for the guy and not the girl

 

[sirena]

i dnt think u can really be both

i think that u will always have a much stronger desire for the other 1

i don't think u can be equal

 

[sirena]

he also said if thats the case if someone is bi their probly just confuse and don't know what they really want

they will always have a stronger feeling for 1 more then the other 1

 

[ohitsnoyyy]

My friend came out as a Bi, but later realize that he's gay.

I think people who say they are Bi aren't sure whether they like guys more or girls more. Sooner or later they'll lean one way or the other.

 

[sirena]

yeah thats what im tryin to say


but i dnt know its just my thought on it

and people can be different

 

[thai-lakorn-fan-forever]

i think people who say they're bi are in a transition phase into full-on gay...but they need a phase to prep themselves -- their own mentality etc. for the reality of who they are...