I wanna Start Fresh

[sirena]

its been a week since my bf and i broke up, and it a pretty difficult week probly one of the most hardest week ive experience

everything just all seem down hill and everything is just misserable for me

but i came to realize y should i sit hea and, got treated like a dog on the street, i should pick my self up and move on again i will live without him no mater wat

my friends all tell me that im still not over him yet, and this is 1 of the phase where act like everything ok but it isnt

not true

ive move on and ill be strong

i started by throwing away all of his things ive kept while we were together

the reason why we broke up waz becuz i found out he waz cheating on me with my friends Lin

i caught them huging and kissing right in front of campus, apparrently he didnt think i waz gonna be there but i went to visit my friends after her class

and there, i found them together

it kills me....it really did

how he can just throw away all the memories and my love for him away like that

i didnt expose them right in front of everyone, i waited till night and ive met up with him

we had dinner, normall convo then i ask him "do you Love me?"

he didnt answer me right away, he sorta stood quite and b4 he said anything i cut him off

i said "maybe u would be quicker abt ur answer if i waz Lin..right?cuz u luv her"

he just stood pich quite he look at me
he try to explain but i didnt listen i told him to leave and that it over between us i dnt want anything to do with him anymore....


i thought that it might be a misunderstanding but it waznt, becuz if it waz, he would actually try to call or meet up and explain but this whole week he didnt ....i got my answer :mellow:

i decide to move on, becuz y should i sit hea and cry and sad over the past

i plan on moving on as a stronger person and wont let it happen to me again
it one of most painful experience in my life

start my life fresh and clean again

this new year coming up im planning on goin to wat and let loose all the bad time and beggin new again

thnxs for readin guys and girls :] sorry it waz so long

share ur experience abt ur break up and how it went

i wanna strat over again, any idea on sumthings i can do?

 

[KhoOnxNouxWanxJai]

Just do the things you like and don't think about it anymore. Cry one day cry it all out then after that quit and move on. Your a grown girl don't let a dog mess that up. I've had my shares of break ups and being cheated on and it didn't feel good. At the same time I loved myself more than I loved any guy.

One of my break up stories;
I was dating this guy I liked him lots. I was crushed after a year of being together I still didn't know much about him. Just his name, number and address. I wasn't the type to press for information. I trusted him (my fault for being so naive) anyways I came to find out that his name was not his name and he had a girlfriend the whole time . He had been with her for 2 years. I tried to forgive him, but I just couldn't. I broke it off. We remained friends. I recently found out he has a 2 year old son. Its been 3 years since we broke up. It kind of hurted me because that means he had a family while we were together. After I broke up with him he broke up with her to attempt to work things out with me, but I couldn't. Luckily I met someone who was sweet and kind and caring. I tried to stay away because I didn't want to get emotionally involved. I did, he ended up to be an asshole too. I tried to stay clear from guys after that it worked and then one day I came across my husband. We were friends for a year and half almost before we crossed the friends line. I'm glad that I took things slow before we actually started dating. I learned more about him. Everything about him was so different from my ex (The liar). He treated me in a way that made me think, "wow how come when I was with "My ex" I didn't feel this way."

But during that year we were friends I went out with friends. I flirted around some LOL. I studied harder and did awesome. I did so many things I couldn't do while I was with my ex. I felt good for once. After two years of being emotionally and mentally abused and mis treated (My ex 1 year he and I were friends 1 year we got together.) I was becoming myself again.

So my advice to you would just give yourself some time to enjoy being single. If you find another person that is possibly a love interest take it slow because it might end up being another emotional roller coaster. You'll be a lot better off just spending times doing things you've wanted to do but never really got the chance too.

Heck after I broke up with my boyfriend I went on a 2 week community service project with my group at school ; he never wanted me to go because there were "guys" going too. I loved it.


So be strong girl!

 

[Liberty]

I hope you're not friends with that girl either.
To start fresh is to get rid of trash, which means get rid of your ex and that friend of yours. Cheating is one thing but cheating with a friend is worse because a real friend wouldn't do something like that to you and doesn't deserve your friendship.

Maybe one day it'll all be behind you and you guys might end up friends again but for now, I think it's best to rid yourself of both of them and start fresh.

I think you're strong just for attempting to move on because some girls can't even do that.

Let's see how do I move on?
Well, it's kind of easy for me but then according to my friends I'm the Ice Queen.
I'm friends with most of my ex'es but I didn't become friends with some of them until later on when I was ready.
Most of my breakups were on good terms, either it was mutual (we just decided we were better off as friends) or I broke it off because I didn't feel the same they did and yes, I've been dumped a few times.
Being dumped and being cheated on is harder than breaking it off mutually or you doing the breaking up for good reasons, at least I think so.
It doesn't take me long to get over things and move on with my life, the longest was probably almost a week.
I make sure it's what I really want before I make any decisions and have no regrets.

After breakup plans: (Avoid contact with the ex during this process)

Day1: The Cleansing phase.

-Break the news to all of my friends, write in my journal (it's how I cleanse myself emotionally).
-Put away any traces of our relationship. If it was a good breakup I put it in a box, if it was a bad one than I throw it out, ALL of it. Anything else that isn't mine to keep I give back to him ASAP.
-Go out with my friends, have a girls night out or rent romantic comedies (or a good romance novel), curl up with a pint of Ben & Jerry's. This helps get any pain and tears out all at once (sometimes it's good to rent a sad or very sappy movie).

Day2: The Starting Over Phase

- No more crying.
- I listen to a lot of rock or angry music during this time to get any feelings of resentment out.
- I also tend to do a lot of working out during this time, usually jogging or kick boxing.
- Movies or books to read: Something that has nothing to do with romance or relationships.

Day3: The Reclaiming Yourself Phase

- I listen to empowering music. Usually songs like Crush, Miss Independent (most things by Kelly C.) and a lot of Christina A.
- Movies or books to read: Something packed with action, especially one that has girls kicking butt.
- I do some shopping or something that has to do with 'me time', taking care of yourself phsyically, mentally and emotionally.

Day4: The Moving on Phase

- By this point I've put away most feelings of resentment, hurt, etc away and has come to accept that I'm better off on my own.
- I make plans for the future that involves only me, plans for myself that doesn't revolve around a significant other or the possibility of a significant other. Just focusing on myself and my future. Plans can be career, school or something fun with friends.
- Usually by this time I'm at a happy point and I prefer to watch comedies, not romantic comedies just plain comedy and listen to easy listening music, happy music.

I've come full circle and learned to be happy being on my own and single again (it takes longer when you haven't been single for a very long time).

That's how I move on. Sometimes it takes a day or two longer, maybe even shorter.

 

[ohitsnoyyy]

AWE WHAT?! i GiVE YOU PROPS LiBERTY FOR TRYiNG TO MOVE ON i KNOW SO MANY GiRLS WHO, AFTER A BREAK-UP, THiNK THE WHOLE WORLD iS GONNA END. i'M LiKE 'iTS JUST ONE DUDE, PiCK YOURSELF UP & MOVE ON' i TELL THEM iT TAKES TiME TO HEAL THE HURT BUT THEY WANNA BE STUPiD & WANNA RUN BACK TO THEiR EX LiKE THEY'RE SOME GOD. AGHH.. i REALLY CAN'T STAND WEAK GiRLS.

i SEE THESE GiRLS CRY THEiR EYES OUT FOR GUYS WHO TREAT THEM LiKE THEY'RE WORTHLESS! i'M LiKE HAVE SOME PRiDE, HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR YOURSELF. iT'S REALLY SAD ACTUALLY. i'M GETTiNG MAD.. HAHA.

BUT THE POiNT iS i'M GLAD YOU'RE MOViNG PAST HiM. HE'S THE PAST & YOU SHOULD'NT DWELL ON iT. JUST GO OUT & HAVE FUN. LiVE LiFE! DON'T LET HiM BRiNG YOU DOWN. WE GiRLS GOTTA STAY STRONG!

 

[marduk]

Here's the best plan I've ever heard!

Sell your life on eBay and move away like this guy:

Man Sells Life on eBay

I think it's a pretty good idea and you can get some money for it.



In all seriousness though, if the idea above isn't to your liking, then listen to the advices before me. They sound pretty good.

 

[KhoOnxNouxWanxJai]

Here's the best plan I've ever heard!

Sell your life on eBay and move away like this guy:

Man Sells Life on eBay

I think it's a pretty good idea and you can get some money for it.



In all seriousness though, if the idea above isn't to your liking, then listen to the advices before me. They sound pretty good.

Lol crazy ebay? But thats not as crazy as some girls that sell their virginity over eBay. dude the internet is becoming a crazy place;

 

[Rakniran]

OMG,thats horrible
ur friend steal ur bf..
I wouldnt know how to handle it.
You are stronger then me.
Don't talk to her anymore and him too.
i say pood on his face ,while he is sleeping.
he wouldnt know is u cus ur not there when he wake up.
can be anyone.
hahhahha..
in other hand..i wouldnt do it cus im nt that mean/brave.
But just advice.U might want to try.
he deserve it

 

[Muddie Murda]

Ouch! I think you're doing very well though. People above me, besides mardie lol, gave good advice.
I don't know what I'd do, since I don't think I'd ever let anyone affect me that much. I'm just a stupid wall lol

 

[Nameless]

Lol crazy ebay? But thats not as crazy as some girls that sell their virginity over eBay. dude the internet is becoming a crazy place;

sell or bid? lol


man, marduk how come your cd isn't on ebay? lol

--

back to topic.

i hope everything works out.

some people aren't worth your time.


go eat some ice-cream.

 

[Quarter]

*sigh* i dont know what to say. down to relationship issues i'm the most clueless one. hope you're doing better though.

lets see, my last break up, i started smoking! GUH! i dont smoke anymore though b/c my current bf now doesn't smoke.

 

[Raiya]

Wow Sirena...I hope you stay strong, I'm sure it will be hard but throwing out all the stuff he gave you is good...that's what I did.

It took me a long time to get over my breakup...no cheating though...but we grew apart and it was time just time to say good bye. Even then I cried...a lot...but after week i felt a little better...found hobbies and spent a lot more time with my other friends. I also starting going out and finding new things that made me happy...like shopping with my best friend. I stayed distracted as long as I could...eventually it didn't hurt as much as I became more self aware about the direction I wanted my life to go...

 

[marduk]

sell or bid? lol
man, marduk how come your cd isn't on ebay? lol

--

back to topic.

i hope everything works out.

some people aren't worth your time.
go eat some ice-cream.

Hmm, that's actually a really good idea about my cd. I think I will sell it on eBay and see what happens.

As for the ice cream thing, don't do that. It's like feeling sorry for yourself. That's not worth it. Go do something strenuous. It'll increase your endorphins level and make you feel better. Some good ones to help with your mood would be kickboxing or something. I hear it's very therapeutic.

 

[KhoOnxNouxWanxJai]

lol eat ice cream. yeah don't eat ice cream, because you'll end up sitting in front of a tv watching sad chick flicks and crying yet again about your own situation. go out and do something weird like ... umm get on a scary roller coaster, bowling, karaoking, or you can kick a complete stranger and watch their reaction then run LOL.

 

[sirena]

thnxs everybody *hugs*

to think abt it i felt really stupid for crying and etc

ppl tell me to "get over it"

but wen i ask them if it happend to them b4, they all said no

so they dnt noe how it feels like

it easy for them to say "get over it"
but experiencing it i bet they wont say it again

then again, the crying etc release the feeling and u feel better

but yea im ok, it different not seeing him anymore

im just soo emotional becuz we've been together for soooo loooong just the thought of how can he do this to me??

but as for love, thats 1 thing i dnt noe if i can open up again, it'll take time for me to really trust sumbody again


theres 1 thing i didnt throw away......

that 1 thing is the picture of us at the park wen we were a couple it our first pic

i just couldnt bring my self to throw it away

 

[KhoOnxNouxWanxJai]

awww its ok that you can't throw that away. I wouldn't be able too if that were me. It's fine I know you won't get over it any time soon, but don't dwell over it. Also don't think of it as a waste of time because you did have great times with him right? think more about the good that came out of it then the bad and think of it as a life lesson. now all you have to do is move on and apply this experience to the next relationship, but don't close yourself up to the point where you assume that all guys are bad. Cause truth is us girls can be equally as bad. There are some good guys just as there are some good girls

 

[Nameless]

Hmm, that's actually a really good idea about my cd. I think I will sell it on eBay and see what happens.

As for the ice cream thing, don't do that. It's like feeling sorry for yourself. That's not worth it. Go do something strenuous. It'll increase your endorphins level and make you feel better. Some good ones to help with your mood would be kickboxing or something. I hear it's very therapeutic.

ha, not how i look at it. it's treating yourself.

ice-cream is like a sweeter replacement of the significant other. it's not an advice man, it's a treat.

yey for ice-cream!

 

[Liberty]

ha, not how i look at it. it's treating yourself.

ice-cream is like a sweeter replacement of the significant other. it's not an advice man, it's a treat.

yey for ice-cream!

Yup and I read that there's something in chocolate that releases or triggers something in the brain (or body, can't remember) that releases happy feelings. Of course if you're having weight issues, might wanna try to steer away from that. ^_^

 

[Jieb_Lover]

I know I am real late but Sirena I hope you have gotten over this guy, he so does not deserve someone like you. And I am sure you don't need him or your friend that he cheated on with you! You deserve better, I hope you'll find a guy who appreciates you for who you are someday. Although I have never dated before your story is very touching and saddd!

 

[sirena]

omg i didnt know this waz hea

thnxs u everyone u guys r really nice T_T

yes, it been a month since the break up

and i feel alot better i mean even tho we had lot goin on and long time with each other i waz able to find sum closure and move on

wen i think abt it i dnt really regret breakin up with him, i mean even tho he cheated on me, we had our time together and this past 5 years he probly the only person who i can say knows me inside out and i know him inside out

like, he'll alwasy be in my heart, he waz the only guy who i felt real connection with and he waz like my first love

not the love like ur first bf or anything

like a person who u truly die for type of thing u know..

but im willing to open my heart again

and i feel maybe there sum1 out there whos even better

im just hopin and prayin

but yea thnxs 4 all ur support <3









btw, Jieb_Lover

hunny you've never date b4

aww dnt worry

i believe that wen the right time comes that special guy will show up

just be happy and live ur life now

enjoy it while u can

ive learn it the hard way

ppl alwasy tell me that "dnt worry abt love, ur still young, just live ur life happily"

and they right



sorry for lot of writing haha

 

[sirena]

so yea

let me tell u girls abt this guy

his name is Danny

i met him in campus at this meeting

sum of u might already noe the story but anyways, so make the story shorter

wen i waz walking to auditorium i bump into him and spill coffe all over him i waz like im sorry and he wa zlike it ok

i look up and gosh..........[sigh]

he has like the most beautifulest eyes in the whole wide world O_____O face hair eyebrows lips nose he was like a geek god

so yea. we stood there lookin at each other for like a good couple minutes

then he smile, such a beautiful smile to die for

i offer to clean it up but then he said it ok then we just stood there and smile non stop

haha then we sat together i got to know him alittle bit and everything

but wen we said good bye i didnt ask for any contact i dnt wanan him to think weird abt me so yea


then last weekend, i went to this cofee shop with my sis i waz in my PJ i didnt wash my face my hair i waz disgusting looking ewwww

and i waz waiting in line to order,

and sum1 tap me on back i turn around and he waz right there

i felt soo embarasse u dnt even know omg i look crazy >.< hahaa

then he waz like " planning on spilling coffee on me again today?"

i waz like "hehehe" that arwaked laugh haha

i didnt even wanan stand next to him i waz so embarasse haha

then he waz like "next week i have a presentation at skool i wonder is u like to come and be part of it" then he pause he look sorta shy then he waz like " maybe hang out"


i waz like =OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

then i said "yea, id love too "


then i grab my sis and ran i forgot to ask him wat time and everything waz

i ran back to ask haha

he laugh

then he said bye and i said bye then we sorta shook hands haha

he gave me his #


omg, u dnt even know im waiting for that wendsday to come now haha