MY BEST FREIN...

[bleu_ladee]

:huh: Just as my topic says... My best frein confuses me. Sometime when I am with him I feel like we are dating... Sometimes when I am around him with other people it feels like he's not afraid to show that we both go around together. But when he sees a HOTT CHICK I AM INVISIBLE! I just dont understand him anymore. At one point I thought I really knew him. Some days he would flirt with me, touch and fool around like he's interested; then somedays its like blah! He used to call me everyday morning and night, and now... its rare. Maybe in the morning... maybe not... Did I do something wrong... Now... I kind of EXPECT his calls; but he dont call me anymore. :unsure:
Sometimes he tells my younger sisters who he gets along with that he says this and that; when I ask them they dont even know of it. When he sends me LOVE SONGS he tells me he sends it to everyone; but when I ask no one gets them. :blink: AHHHHH.... I am so confused! What does he want from me?
I can confess that I really do like him after being freins with him for so LONG now and I grew to love his parents too. But how would I know if these feelings are real or are they just feelings that my mind is playing with me. TIPS PLEASE! TIPS ON HOW TO FIGURE OUT IF A GUY FRIEN IS REALLY INTO YOU! I really like him alot and I really want a CHANCE; but he's got ALOT of HOTT CHICKS compared me; IMA NOT EVEN IN THE RANK! BUT I believe I still have a SHOT if I TRY. I dont want to loose my frien-ship with him either. He's pretty much my whole WORLD right now. GUYS... GIRLS... BUDDIES... TIPS and ADVICES FOR THIS CONFUSED CHICK WITH A LONGING OF A FRIEN'S LOVE... Should I just forget and remain friens; or should I do what? HELP ME!!! :unsure:

 

[noungning]

been there, done that. and it's over.

well, we are still friends and will always remain friends. never can we pass that friendship line.

i guess i was in the same exact position as u are. but i had to move on because i didn't want myself to ache from the heartache from all the questionings i've ask myself over and over again.

i'm sure MANY people have experienced this, u aren't alone. and i'm sure we'll have a few stories.. u can even search this section, there were at least 3-5 threads with the same type of situation.

 

[Muddie Murda]

Yeah been there done that too. lol Not over yet! jk Except um...my guy had a gf...so yeah um...it'd never happen.

Plus, I wasn't the type of person to tell someone I like them

In my opinion, staying friends is probably the better deal because friends > lovers. However, do you guys still hang out? You said he stopped calling, wondering if you guys still meet up. Is the friendship falling apart too?

 

[KhoOnxNouxWanxJai]

Honestly it depends on you yourself. I had the same problem with you. A friend of mine flirted with me continuously. We had been friends for a year, but throughout the last 6 months he had flirted with me and such. He about me to his friends. He even worried about me. Started ditching friends for me. I had a boyfriend at the time. Things went bad between me and the boyfriend He was a loser anyways. My friend was there to console me and etc. He was there for me when my ex started causing drama. I started to like him, but I feared the friendship line! I loved having him around and I was scared it might turn out like the relationship I just got out of. My ex and I were good friends and then after that our friendship was ruined after the breakup. I didn't want to do that with this friend cause obviously I cared about him more. I stopped talking to him for 3 months my excuse was I was busy with school. I was dating another guy at school to get over him. Well that didn't work out. I started talking to him again. I figured I'll just live with the feelings and eventually I'll get over it. One day he asked me, "maybe we should just have a test relationship?" If we like it we make it official, if we don't we go back to being goofy friends like we are now. I liked him a lot by now so I'm like ok. We tried it out 2 weeks later he asked me, "hey are we still in a test relationship?" I'm like I don't know. So we made it official. 5 months later he moved to my state and 4 months after that we got married :huh:

So not all the time crossing the friend line is bad sometimes if you're friend before you date it's actually better because you kinda know each other but at the same time you don't. My husband and I find new things about each other everyday. Everyday it's like the first day we met. We are husband and wives at the same time we're friends. When we go out in public we hardly show affection. We do occasionally, but we are always goofing around picking on each other.

But to get to that point what I had to do? I asked him out straight what were his feelings for me, but before I did that I had to question myself. What if he doesn't and won't asking him make things awkward? I had to make sure I was willing to risk that. I was also questioning whether I'll be able to go back to being "Just friends" if it didn't work out.

So the thing is it's really up to you. You can't figure someone out. Unless they tell you themselves. DON'T EVER play games to see if a guy likes you. It's never good to start a relationship off with dishonesty or games. So these are the things I would do! THESE ARE my Opinions! so you don't need to follow if you don't want to ^__^

1. Ask him out front
2. Stay Just Friends
3. Ask yourself do you really like him? Or you think so because of the way he treats you. Sometimes good feelings can be mistaken for liking someone
4. Be Ready For Any Type of Awkwardness
5. Ask yourself are you ready to give up a friendship in case things get awkward
6. Ask him does he like anyone.

and

but he's got ALOT of HOTT CHICKS compared me; IMA NOT EVEN IN THE RANK

Girl my husband had lots of hot chicks that liked him too compared to me >.O his first love [Way HOTTER THAN Me] the girl he loved and crushed on for 4 years finally wanted to give him a try but he finally got over her because of me , but if that guy is any good looks wouldn't matter to him

 

[ijohn]

wish i had good advice to give but i don't i do feel your pain but sometimes staying friends will avoid heart ache!!!

Ps. it may sound crazy,,, but in the verbal sense i think best friends can be more intimate because fear of rejection hardly ever comes about with being friends unless you get jealous then all bets are off!!!

 

[ChenrukNote]

He is not serious with you. You are just a person he can run to when there's no one else, hence, thats why you are friends.

 

[genkers]

i disagree nai, one i think he likes you but he very confuse about his feeling for you, or 2 he just playign with you when he flirting with you bc he's that comfortable around you, three he really really likes and just acting liek he don't so that you will like him you know sort of like playing hard to get but not really playign hard to get lol i don't know if i made myself clear or not

 

[triANGgo]

if you spend alotta time together, of course feelings are gunna form..... this is a normal thing that all best friends or friends go thru!! i once went thru this phase and honestly it was a waste of my time cause i've dropped alotta opportunities just to love this person, not saying i regret what i've done with this person but then i've rejected some of the best guys who really likes me.... anyways but back to the story, at the end he ended up breaking my heart and telling me..... Can we still be friends? lol i cried my eye's out and said NOOOOOOOO!!!

now look dear, i dont want to see you get hurt like the way i and the rest of the girls did..... if he's serious with you then it would of been official between you 2 long ago!!! like what Nai Nai's said above..... "He is not serious with you. You are just a person he can run to when there's no one else, hence, thats why you are friends."

Goodluck with your decisions.... dont do anything you'll regret!!!

 

[noungning]

He is not serious with you. You are just a person he can run to when there's no one else, hence, thats why you are friends.

nicely put... if he wanted to be more than friends u will be more than friends by now... something i had to realize and realize oh so long after i've invested time and emotions... <_<

Welps I found out my answer! He said he's JUS LIKE A BIG BROTHER 2 me. He even said thou he treated me badly; I never complained. I replied; "I never complained because all this time; I only see you as a BIG BROTHER!" My heart was stabbed a million times but i remain calm. At least I now know. I am okae. I jus need a place to cry now. But I will be okae...

i know it hurts, but being in pain only makes u immune to pain. be greatful, it's a good lesson learned

 

[Nameless]

the bugger isn't confused, he's just not serious, hence the reason why he's leading you on.

but being friends...with someone you like...bad idea.

 

[reagan1986]

genkers is right, sometimes guys do that to see reactions, its just there way of seeing what will happen....
I'm sure you or other girls have tried talking to other guys or did something wondering if there be a reaction from the guy you like, it just happens he might do it often =), though it could be his just a flirt also,
just sit down with him and talk since your best frends Im sure you can do that, forget possibilities of whats happening in your mind at the moment, SIT DOWN AND TALK ABOUT IT IF YOU DONT GET STRAIGHT ANSWER, THEN YOUR PART IS DONE AND ITS HIS LOST....

 

[wintr]

been there done that...i was afraid as you were..he was giving me mix signal finally i everything came spilling out..and we ended up together and have a child now..so its up to you to find out...i didnt want to cross that line of being a friend but i do want to kno if i had a chance..like its been said its better to have loved and never loved at all...if you dont try you will always wonder if you had a chance with him...and maybe one day you will regret never asking or wanting to kno.

 

[vina_lek]

It's hard to tell. For me, I think it's either:

- you're one out of many girls. <_<
- you're not his gf. so why can't he hang around other girls even if he did like you? -_-
- he has no balls & has to test you a lot to see if you like him or not before he makes a move. wuss. kidding. it's normal. a lot of people are afraid of rejection.

 

[bleu_ladee]

Thank you guys so much for all the help and advices. Thanks for sharing with me. I think I am going to sit down and debate on this for awhile. I think I might take the chance and AIM HIGH! THANKS BUDDIES...

 

[kikiy916]

...okay meeh...about the same story but then i dont noe if i lyke the guy...
BUT the t guy he loves me alot..
meeh rite now at work this one guy he hella lyke meeh.. but i dont noe wat to do...
my cousin said that its not hard...if i lyke hem to then go out with hem.... but thats her..
meeh ...he's not the boyfrewn type..i just dont noe...
wen they ask me if i lyke hem... im lyke i have no idea...
but wen i do see hem tallk to gurls... im lyke why is he talking to them....
but yeah now days he trying to tell everyone to ask me if i lyke hem..!!!
so i dont noe... evryone told me to gve hem a chance...thats wat i been thinkin too...


but yeah enough of mine.. to yours...
i think im been there...
um i think u should stay as frewn.
but if you really want to noe if he lykes you..
ask hem...??
i would...
plus u guys been frewn...and n if he laugh.
laugh with hem... make a joke out of it..
but yeah i hope i have help u....sumhow..

 

[ohitsnoyyy]

i'VE BEEN THERE TOO HUNN... iT AiNT A PRETTY SiTUATiON TO BE GETTiNG YOURSELF iN.

HE COULD POSSiBLE HAVE FEELiNGS FOR YOU, BUT JUST PLAYiNG HARD TO GET BY BEiNG ALL FLiRTY

OR HE COULD JUST SEE YOU AS JUST A FRiEND THAT HE COULD FALL BACK ON iF THESE "OTHER GiRLS" HURT HiM.

THiS iS WHY HAViNG A "BEST" GUY FRiEND DOESN'T REALLY WORK, A GUY & A GiRL CAN BE JUST FRiEND, BUT SOONER OR LATER ONE WiLL FALL FOR THE OTHER.

DONT FALL FOR iT HUNN... HE COULD BE TRYiNG TO GET iNTO YOUR PANTS, WHO KNOWS. DON'T HAVE SO MUCH HOPE FOR THIS UP ONLY TO GET HURT iN THE END.

JUST HANG iN THERE & YOU'LL BE FiNE!

 

[Raiya]

gosh so many of us have been in the same situation...

i had a really cool guy friend in college...he acted the same way as your guy friend...i started liking him...but it didn't work out and i found out the hard way that he was not into me at all...he was just playing...i was heartbroken and we were never able to be friends again after that.

in contrast when i met my partner we both knew we liked each other right away and there came a point where we both decided that we could be just friends or something more...i decided to take the bf route and it worked out but we were honest with each other from the start...he wasn't try to play with me...just told me he liked me and the rest is history...

i wish you luck but like the others have been saying...this is a slippery slope you are climbing.

 

[7270]

if you've already made your move on him, don't forget to continue living it up. you're a free girl. pursue your other loves (no. i don't mean other dudes, but you can do that, too) like hobbies & goals.

 

[ohitsnoyyy]

YESHHH... iT'S BETTER TO REPLACE GUYS WiTH HOBBiES. THAT'S WHAT i'VE DONE. [CLUBBiNG & PARTiES]. LOL.

 

[Quarter]

UHHH now that i thought about it, your friend reminds me of me. especially the HOT CHICK part, but for me it's the hot guys. i shall leave this thread and never come back.