annmott
sarNie Hatchling
Chapter 10 - Almost Worth It
A/N: So here it is, the last chapter of season 1.
Warning: The following content may or may not contain scenes that would break your heart. Read at your own risk.
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"So... this is your stop"
Astraea felt Theo tugged her hand as they slowly stopped in front of a door in an empty hallway, turning to look at each other but neither letting go.
"I should go now", he said, looking at her tenderly, his eyes shining bright just as his dimples showed up again.
"Yes", she nodded, smiling back rather shyly, feeling her face flushed at the intensity of his stare, wondering if she'll ever get used to seeing his handsome face looking at her like she's the answer to his prayers. "See you later?"
But neither of them moved an inch, gazing at each others eyes with their hands entwined, his thumb caressing her palm gently. She didnt know if it's because this is the first time they wont be within each others radar or what but it feels like she didnt want to let go.
Maybe they should just go back home and wait for other time?
"You know what?", Theo suggested with conviction, "I change my mind, I'll come in with you"
Astraea's eyes immediately widens, holding tight on his hand as she almost shouted, "No!"
He can't go in there with her!
At her outburst though, Theo looked at her curiously that she quickly backtracked with a forced smile on her face, saying, "I mean- Didn't you said your father wants to talk with you?"
"Yes but I can talk to him later and I can even introdu-", he started before she cuts him off.
"Look, I will be fine here", she said with what she hope as a convincing smile.
It's not like she didnt want him to go with her, or elude meeting his parents cause she was still traumatised that last time but no. It wasnt all about that.
Because today, she will finally have that talk she promised to herself with Kiara, her MIA friend who finally show her footprints. The moment Theo told her she's back, she did not waste any time and prepared herself to go for a visit but Theo learnt about her plans and insist on coming with her saying that he too has been summoned by his father.
"I will just wait inside your sister's office while you do your own thing", she added, smiling for more conviction.
She cant have that very much needed talk with Theo around eh?
"O-kay... I-I'll see you later", he pouted rather sadly, she almost took back her words.
"Theo!"
Astraea took a deep breath, shaking her head at his hopeful look before she took her bag that he insist on wearing on his shoulders since earlier after they stopped by to get her films processed no matter how ridiculous he looked to others. To her though, he looked mightily adorable.
But even his puppy eyes wont stop her...
Cause as much as she wanted to, she really needed to have this talk now...
"Oh right", he said looking every bit dejected that Astraea could only roll her eyes as he added, "I'll go now"
Damn. He really have a way with her huh?
Pulling his hand, she stood on her tiptoe and pressed a quick kiss on his cheeks earning a smile on his face.
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"There", she said, brushing her lipstick off his cheeks, "Go now"
"Alright", Theo's eyes lit up in an instant, saying, "See you later love" quickly pressing another kiss on her lips before he walks away.
"Alright", Astraea repeated his words, staring at his back and watching him disappear in the corner, wishing that she could also have the same confidence right now cause she didnt know why but damn she's feeling nervous.
It should be easy right? Tell them that she had already stopped with the mission long ago, which her friends would have known if they received the flash drive she sent months ago but with no response means...
"Here goes nothing", she could only whisper to herself, closing her eyes to take a deep breath before openning the door.
"Are you sure about that?"
To her surprise, she found her friends huddled close together, staring at the laptop quite seriously that they didnt even notice her presence.
"Yes I've only seen this flash drive Astraea sent just earli-"
Before she got another case of cold feet, she immediately announced her presence by clearing her throat loudly, smiling and openning her arms wide when the duo screamed at once, running towards her and enveloping her in a group hug.
"Oh My!" / "You're here!"
Kiara and Malia both gushed over her, Astraea had to laugh at the way the both hug her so tight, she almost couldn't breath especially when they gave her one last squeeze saying, "We missed you girl!"
"So where've you two been?", she managed to ask when they finally let her go.
"It's a long story", Malia began, emphasizing the word 'long' as they all took a seat on the sofa in the receiving area of Kiara's office, "Kiara got cozy with your brother and your fiance"
Wait- What?!
At her friend's response, her eyes immediately widen, she could only stare at her friends in shock.
"Urgh", Kiara only rolled her eyes at her friends, "Actually I've been kidnapped by that fiance of yours, he kept asking where you were-"
"Luckily, your brother caught a wiff of what's going on when I told him Kiara's missing and can you believe it? He immediately set off to find her!", Malia cuts off Kiara's words animatedly which earned another eye roll from her friend.
Wait - so the reason why they're gone was because Marius, her supposed fiance kidnapped Kiara?!
And her brother, Marco, that stone cold brother helped her friend?
Damn. She knew it!
All those years when they were still studying and her friend was trying to get Marco's attention didnt go in vain.
"You should have seen him while we're looking for you. He's so worried I thought-", Malia told Kiara while Astraea secretly nodd and smile knowingly in the background.
"Enough about me", Kiara glared at Malia, before turning to her with a smile, "What about you?"
She didnt know if she should be anxious or perplexed at the sudden change of mood but the duo who was just fighting earlier began to scream in happiness again, both holding each of her hands, "We've already heard the good news!"
They did?
Astraea sighed in relief. Goodie, she'll be spared of going into details then...
"My brother already cancelled his arranged marriage!" Kiara and Malia stated simultaneously, whooping in joy as they high five each other, "I cant believe you actually succeeded on that impossible mission!"
Or not. Damn.
This is exactly what she fears.
Did they really think she'd still be on to that?
"It's not-" Astraea tried to intervene their small celebration but they had already pulled her up with them as the duo made a weird jig consisted of jumping while screaming and laughing.
"We're still looking at the flashdrive you sent us", Malia said while shaking her head, ignoring her protest.
"Well this is all fun but-", Astraea once again tried to butt in only to get drowned by Kiara's shushing, "Dont be shy, we're just wondering how you managed to convince my brother back out on his self imposed do-"
The sudden loud smashing sound shocked the three of them, ceasing her friends joyous celebration and effectively rendering them speechless as they all turn to stare at the sight that instantly turned her insides cold.
For there standing in front of them is Theo with his bowed head, his fist shaking in anger as he stares at the broken laptop with keys and pieces all over the place after he seemingly punched it hard.
"T-theo?", she asked slowly, swallowing the bile in her throat and hoping that it was all just a dream.
A nightmare perhaps.
Astraea's first instinct was to run and explain the truth, even beg for forgiveness but the fiery eyes that looked up at her, blazing with so many emotions; Anger, disappointment... disgust, she could only stare back in fear, rooted from the spot.
"Is that... all am I to you?", he asked her slowly, Astraea immediately shakes her head no, taking small steps closer towards him to try and explain even though she couldnt quite breath properly, cold fear had completely taken over her insides as she stared at the sight of the unfamiliar man in front of her. Not used to seeing the eyes that always looked at her with love and tenderness now intense with anger.
"A mission huh?", Theo laugh humorlessly, shaking his head before he violently threw the laptop on the floor and made a move towards the door after glaring at the three of them.
"N-No!", Astraea exclaimed, quickly going after him and clutched his arm, shaking her head furiously, desperately trying to make him see her reason cause Merlin! Didnt he know that meeting him is one of the best thing that happen in her life?, "I-It's not like tha-"
"Then tell me...", Theo whispered, stopping right before he reached the door. "They are lying right?"
Taking a deep breath, he looked back at her with small hope in his eyes like he was wishing that they were just pulling a prank or anything but that.
Astraea tried to bit back her sob unsuccessfully as tears fell down her eyes, whispering, "I'm sorry"
At her response, Theo closed his eyes and cried out loud before he grabbed the vases near him and propel it on the floor.
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"I-It's all our fault", Malia and Kiara tried to defuse the situation, grabbing her hand to pull her away from him who's still thrashing Kiara's office, "Yes we've convinced Astraea to-"
And just when she thought the situation couldnt get any worse, Theo asked, "Who's Astraea?!"
Silence followed his question as the three friends exchanged looks, none of them could give a coherent answer but it seems like they dont need to... cause with another series of loud curse, Theo banged the door before he left hurriedly after shouting, "Damn it!"
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*After a few weeks
"Where is it?"
Astraea shuffled around the bathroom all the while drying her face with a towel after she got sick all over again, holding a hand on her temple, she tried to cool down her aching head as she looked for the medicine in the cabinet.
Damn. This past few weeks feels like hell what with her being sick and her heart broken. She would give anything she can if only she could go back in those days where she lay in Theo's arms, curl up in their bed, sleeping peacefully.
God she missed him so much.
Just the thought of him was enough to make her tear up again, she probably should stop being this emotional cause she's been crying like this for days, her head is already aching like mad.
But how can she do that when every little thing reminds her of him...
Thank God, Kiara and Malia had sort of adopted her for the time being, taking care of her well being or she might have gone crazy by now.
Damn. She could still remember how she cried that first night on Kiara's apartment upon waking up alone in an unfamiliar bed without him by her side to kiss her 'good morning'. The reality of the situation attacking her, realizing that he might not be coming back to her after all.
She had to do something or everything they built would be nothing. Only, she didnt know how cause Theo has gone missing the moment he stepped out of Kiara's office and he wouldnt pick up her calls.
It has gone so bad that her friends advised her to just stay in Kiara's apartment while they go and look for him...
"How was it?", Aatraea's brows furrow hearing her friends hushed whispers, she couldnt help her curiousity and took a step towards their direction.
"Dont worry Astraea's already sleeping", a voice that could only belong to Malia said as she was the one who put her to bed earlier.
Astraea's breath hitched having a gut feeling of what they were talking about.
"I think it's better if we steer them clear away from each other first, let things cool down..."
"He's still super angry?"
So... they already found him? And they didnt tell her? Damn it! She knew they were keeping something from her.
"You bet. My brother wont even talk to me. All he does is drink and party like mad. We cant let Astraea see him like this."
She really appreciate her friends concern but shouldnt she also have a say on this? Cause she think she really needs to talk to him now, or as early as possible to clear things up before everything blows out of proportion. Wouldnt that be a better plan?
Surely if she explained everything to him he would understand right? And everything would go back to the way they were before, happily living their lives and reaching dreams together...
"Well at least we knew he's staying at my family's hotel"
"Yep. You texted the right address"
"So what do we do know?"
"Better wait cause at this rate, talking might do more damage than any good."
But Astraea's already done waiting for the perfect timing that might never come. She must do something. She had to take the situation in her own hands now.
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"Mam we' really can't disclose personal information to just any-"
"But I told you I am not just anyone", Astraea sighed out loud in frustration, tapping the counter as she tried to negotiate with the receptionist for the nth time, "Look. Can you please just call and tell him that Selene is here?"
She honestly thought sneaking out of Kiara's apartment and getting her friends cellphone would be the hardest part on this, but damn, she couldnt be more wrong.
"We're really sorry but-", the receptionist stopped midsentence before the guard whispered something on the girls ears as they turned towards the entrance, Astraea automatically turns too, only to gasp in surprise, feeling a shot of excitement and hope run through her for the first time in weeks at finally having a glimpse again of the only man she loved.
"Theo?", Astraea almost forget everything else around her, making a mad dash towards him while calling his name repeatedly only to stop a few meters away from him upon seeing his cold eyes that looked at her indifferently... realizing he's not alone. And that the girl who was clutching on his arms tight is breathtakingly beautiful, Astraea almost took a step back as if she was punched by the hard reality with all her hopes crashing down.
The past few days had been tough for her but she endured it, thinking and worrying about him, knowing he must be going twice or thrice the same pain, but damn it. Is this what he's been doing the whole time?
"C-can we talk... alone?" Still, she tried, even though her voice is cracking as she brushed off the tears that fell down.
"It's okay Ted I'll-", Astraea felt another stab at what the woman called Theo and his lack of reaction to it, like he had given the woman permission to do so.
Ted? She thought he hated being called that name? Just like he did with Theo...
And as if that didnt hurt enough, Theo hold on the womans hand when she's about to take her hand away from his arm and asked, "Do I know you?"
"Please dont be like this Theo-", she knew she is probably starting to sound desperate but she doesnt even care now.
"Do. Not", Theo cut her off with a glare, gritting his teeth as he speaks, "Call. Me. Theo"
"A-alright L-levant", Astraea stuttered at the sharp look he gave her, "M-Mr. Andrews"
"I don't have time for this", he said coldly and before she knew what she's doing, Astraea grabbed his other arm when he and the woman made a move to enter the elevator.
"Please hear me out first", she almost plead but Theo only ignores her, pressing his floor number on the elevator.
Astraea had no choice. Taking a deep breath, she swallowed her pride and dignity as she too step inside the elevator with them, avoiding the eyes of the other woman, knowing that she must be judging her right now.
But that is irrelevant now cause the only thing that really matters to her is Theo...
She could still fix this right?
Its not yet too late.
If only he would listen to her.
Astraea immediately turned towards Theo once the elevator door closes, saying, "I promise it wont take lo-"
Before she could finish though, he already cut her off with another one of his humorless chuckle that she is starting to hate, "What do you know about promises huh?"
Damn him. Its not like she did that task just for fun! Did he not know her well?
"If you could just trust me-", she started, now sounding really desperate, feeling like her tears would burst at any moments but it seems like he had already beat her cause the next thing she knew, he had punched the elevator wall causing a gasp from her and the woman while he screamed, "Trust?! Are we really talking about trusts?!"
Astraea tried to ignore another stab of pain on his hurtful words and immediately took hold of his hand that is starting to bleed but he only pulled his hand roughly away from hers, she had to look up to retort when his eyes blazing with anger met hers, rendering her speechless, she could only stare feeling her heart stabbed into pieces as Theo let the other woman gently wrap his injured hand with a handkerchief.
And as if it wasnt really enough, Theo began to lead the other woman outside the moment the elevator door opens, seemingly forgotten about her, Astraea had to hold on the back of his jacket in her last pitiful attempt to try and stop him from leaving, calling his name in a small voice, "T-theo"
She lied to him alright but does she deserve this?
Cause she isn't sure if she could take it knowing that the only man she love is alone on a room with a woman doing God knows what, she doesnt even want to think about.
Theo immediately turned to her with anger evident on his eyes, ready to snap at her but stopped upon seeing the look on her eyes, she thought for a second she finally got through him only for him to shake his head and gave the woman whom he was with the card key, leaving the two of them alone as he placed his hand on the elevator door to stop it from closing.
"You know what? You could wait till we finish or...", he said with a smirk on his face, pushing back the stray hair behind her ear before he leans close and whisper, "Why dont you come and join us. I'm sure we'll have... fun"
His words was enough to break her heart as her hand slowly let go of his shirt, she had to bow down her head just so she couldnt see the look on his eyes so she wont ever remember, hoping he couldnt see the tears.
Damn it.
She isnt prepared for this- NO.
She will never be prepared for this.
"Thats what I thought", she heard him say before he let go and she heard the elevator door closed.
It was all it took before she broke down, covering her face with her hand, feeling like millions of needles were stabbing her heart and she couldnt do anything to save it.
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This is her fault after all... She brought all this to herself when she agreed to that stupid mission.
And maybe, just maybe in all her twisted logic, she really deserves this.
A lie will still be a lie, even if the intention is good no matter how much she try to sugarcoat it.
It f*cking hurts like hell, she doesnt know how she'd ever get over this but damn, even after all this... she's still willing to wait until he's ready to listen.
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*The next morning
"Hmmm..."
Astraea woke up feeling a gentle hand caress her face, the familiar scent that could only belong to him surrounds her, she honestly thought for a second that the past few hellish weeks had only been a nightmare.
"T-theo?", she whispered softly, slowly openning her eyes to see him staring at her lovingly just like the way he used to do, her breath hitched and she couldnt help the lone tear that fell from her eyes even as she smiled cause good lord she missed this. She missed him so much.
Astraea raised her hand to touch his, just to savor the feeling but as she do so, Theo gasped out loud and quickly pulled away as if he was burnt. Within a second, her Theo disappeared and there stood the man she didnt know, his cold eyes masking his emotions.
"Good you're already awake", he said, turning around and walking towards the window to open the curtains.
Astraea was momentarily blinded by the glare from the sun that it struck her... how did she end up here?
Cause the last thing she remembered was sitting on the lobby of the hotel, stiffling her cries as she wait for Theo and the woman to come down...
"You passed out on the lobby yesterday, the guard kept calling me so I brought you here", Theo provided her an answer after noticing her look of confusion, his voice devoid of any emotion as he speak, "You can leave now"
Astraea's hands fisted hard on the blanket at his words. Still, she chose to swallow her fears and ask, "C-can we talk first?"
Damn it. She is even prepared to beg just to make him see her reason if thats what he wanted.
Thats how desperate she is now. Pathetic she knew but its not like she has anything more to lose anyway, a little begging on her part wont do any damage anymore for she already threw away her pride, her dignity and damn, she's afraid she's also close to losing herself.
"Aren't we already talking?", Theo muttered, staring at her indifferently, Astraea couldnt bare looking back his hollow eyes, her knuckles already white in trying to hold on her emotions knowing that she is the cause of his pain, "Now if you're finish you can go ahead and-"
Try as she might, her tears started dropping again cause honestly, She didnt know what to do anymore. Or if she could ever still fix this.
"Listen to me", Astraea take a deep breath and started to confess, "Yes I did the mission-"
Her words immediately caught his attention just as his eyes darken with every word that came out from her mouth.
"Stop", Theo whispered, gritting his teeth like he was trying to contain his emotions.
Astraea only shake her head and continued speaking in desperation, brushing off her tears, "Yes I lied."
"I said shut it!", Theo bellowed in anger, holding a hand on his face as he let out another deep breath seemingly controlling his anger.
Still, Astraea couldnt be deterred, thinking that this might be her last shot, at least she knew in herself that she tried to fight for what they have even as her voice already crack while trying to bit back another sob, "-But I already stopped pretending after we get stucked in the islan-"
"Then what is this?!", Theo cut her off effectively with a low growl, showing her the films they had processed just before everything turns gruesome, "I cant believe I did not even notice anything!"
Astraea's eyes widen at seeing the pictures she had taken even way back, from the time when she was still gathering evidence that her breath hitched and she was rendered speechless for a moment, having nothing to say to defend herself that she could only watch Theo ripped their pictures in complete rage, his eyes staring at the pictures with such hatred.
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"No its not like that", Astraea found her voice, furiously shaking her head all the while brushing her tears off.
Maybe before, she does intend to use their pictures together but no, not anymore. In fact she had it processed for safekeeping but Theo wouldnt listen anymore to anything she say. No matter how hard she tried... or how loud she speak, he couldnt seem to hear her words.
Astraea hold a hand on her head as she felt an onslaught of head ache coming in full force, "Aarghh"
"W-what's wrong?", Theo's sitting beside her at once, cupping her face in his hands while looking at her with worry, Astraea didnt know if she should be thankful for the sickness she isnt sure how she contacted the past few weeks, knowing that he still cared for her as he asked her gently, "Are you okay?"
"Yes. Just a little dizz-", Astraea tried to ressure him but her response was enough to send him in another frenzy mood again.
"F*ck!", he whispered furiously in a series of curses as he covered his face with his hands looking frustrated with himself, "You're doing this, cause you know that I love you right?"
"What?", Astraea's eyes widen in disbelief, "No! I told you it's not-"
"You're playing with me cause you know that I can not hurt you!", Theo continued muttering like mad, his eyes turning to her intensely, he might as well screamed at her for his whispers cut through her heart like a knife, she couldnt even defend herself with his accusations.
"Did you even love me?", he asked looking almost close to pulling his hair out, shouting, "No! Dont aswer t-", when she opened her mouth to reply.
However, nothing could stop Astraea from finally speaking the words that she wanted to tell him right when she first recognize her feelings. Those three words that she hadnt had the guts to say cause to her, it means that saying it out loud would finalize those things between them, hoping to settle her own issues first before promising him forever.
But waiting for that perfect timing would seem impossible now especially when everything is out of her control.
Astraea couldnt keep it to herself anymore, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she blurted out, "Of course I do love you!"
Complete silence followed her confession until Theo shake his head slowly, chuckling in despair before he bowed his head, Astraea felt her heart broke seeing the tears he had tried to hide, brushing it away quickly.
"You dont... expect me to believe that do you?", he muttered softly, speaking so unbelievably calm, Astraea felt chills run down her spine when he turned to her, his usual jolly eyes now looking so hollow.
"You know what?", Theo continued in a flat tone, devoid of any emotion, "Just do me a favor and leave"
Astraea tried to fight back the sob that threatens to overpower her as Theo left her alone, closing the door behind him with a loud thud.
Is this how her and Theo end?
No!
Astraea furiously shake her head no, before she finally covers her face when her tears just wont stop. She had to take a series of deep breaths, tapping her cheeks and hoping to get her breathing back to normal for she couldnt afford a break down right now.
She had to do something cause she cant accept defeat. Not even when she had already laid down all her cards...
Damn!
She love him so much.
Didnt he say that he loves her too?
She knew he really does cause that short time they were together, he never failed to make her feel his love.
Thats why in her quite muddled mind full of desperation right now, she couldnt quite understand why they cant just be together?
Forgive and forget everything... Isn't what they have worth it? Isnt she worth it?
Astraea bowed down her head, wiping her face with her bare hands that she accidentally saw the necklace Theo had given her glint as if mocking her.
And that was all it took to make her remember and have full confidence of the love he had for her as she quickly stood up and sprinted towards the door, giving her last ditch attempt to fight for them.
"Thank you for bringing back my sister", Astraea heard a very familiar voice that was enough to instantly stop her from chasing Theo the moment she stepped in his living room. Her blood turning cold, her heart breaking even more at every second.
For there standing, on the other side of the room was her brother and she could only suspect one person as to how he had found her...
"No problem", Theo nodded coldly, confirming her fears before he made a move towards the direction of the door without even sparing her a glance, "Just dont let me see you two here again"
The implication of Theo's action was enough to drain even the last glimmer of hope she had... cause they already talked about possibilities of what would happen to her the minute she stepped back in her homeland.
What even hurt the most is that he seemed to be the one who called for it. He couldnt wait to get rid of her huh?
"That wont be any problem cause the moment you let a Leblanc slip out of your hands, I am quite sure you can never get it back again.", Marco told Theo and for one wild moment, Astraea's heart thundered after seeing Theo stopped on his tracks, she is pathetic enough to believe that there might still be hope.
But that wishful thinking was gone as quick as it appeared, she could only watch his back disappear from her sight.
Like the fool that she became, Astraea made a move to follow him but Marco quickly took hold of her arm, shaking his head, "Let him go. He's not worth it"
She really wanted to tell him no. He's wrong as she tried to pull away from his grasp.
Cause she truly believe that what Theo and her have is worth fighting for... but how can she do that when it seems like he had already given her up?
Still, Astraea stared hard at the door willing for some miracle that Theo might come back but every second that passed by without him felt like she was being stabbed, feeling her heart that was already breaking shattered and torn into pieces. That was the last thing she remember before she finally broke down, feeling all her pent up emotions came crashing down as the reality caught up on her.
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A/N: I dont have anything to say to defend myself. Please dont shoot.
P.S. Writing season 1 had been an enjoyable roller coaster ride, however, it made me feel too many emotions I am seriously feeling numb right now. I think I need to see a shrink or something.
Feedbacks, comment, reviews or suggestion would be really greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading!
@Lalashiie: I gotta say, that motivational comment worked hahaha thank you for the continuous support! I get what you're trying to say Can you take me with you there Damn. I want to emote too!
@NY2018: Will do with the GIF It's okay. I knew you too were kinda busy. Hey! That was one of my favorite part too! I even included it in the short clip teaser I made for season 2.
A/N: So here it is, the last chapter of season 1.
Warning: The following content may or may not contain scenes that would break your heart. Read at your own risk.
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"So... this is your stop"
Astraea felt Theo tugged her hand as they slowly stopped in front of a door in an empty hallway, turning to look at each other but neither letting go.
"I should go now", he said, looking at her tenderly, his eyes shining bright just as his dimples showed up again.
"Yes", she nodded, smiling back rather shyly, feeling her face flushed at the intensity of his stare, wondering if she'll ever get used to seeing his handsome face looking at her like she's the answer to his prayers. "See you later?"
But neither of them moved an inch, gazing at each others eyes with their hands entwined, his thumb caressing her palm gently. She didnt know if it's because this is the first time they wont be within each others radar or what but it feels like she didnt want to let go.
Maybe they should just go back home and wait for other time?
"You know what?", Theo suggested with conviction, "I change my mind, I'll come in with you"
Astraea's eyes immediately widens, holding tight on his hand as she almost shouted, "No!"
He can't go in there with her!
At her outburst though, Theo looked at her curiously that she quickly backtracked with a forced smile on her face, saying, "I mean- Didn't you said your father wants to talk with you?"
"Yes but I can talk to him later and I can even introdu-", he started before she cuts him off.
"Look, I will be fine here", she said with what she hope as a convincing smile.
It's not like she didnt want him to go with her, or elude meeting his parents cause she was still traumatised that last time but no. It wasnt all about that.
Because today, she will finally have that talk she promised to herself with Kiara, her MIA friend who finally show her footprints. The moment Theo told her she's back, she did not waste any time and prepared herself to go for a visit but Theo learnt about her plans and insist on coming with her saying that he too has been summoned by his father.
"I will just wait inside your sister's office while you do your own thing", she added, smiling for more conviction.
She cant have that very much needed talk with Theo around eh?
"O-kay... I-I'll see you later", he pouted rather sadly, she almost took back her words.
"Theo!"
Astraea took a deep breath, shaking her head at his hopeful look before she took her bag that he insist on wearing on his shoulders since earlier after they stopped by to get her films processed no matter how ridiculous he looked to others. To her though, he looked mightily adorable.
But even his puppy eyes wont stop her...
Cause as much as she wanted to, she really needed to have this talk now...
"Oh right", he said looking every bit dejected that Astraea could only roll her eyes as he added, "I'll go now"
Damn. He really have a way with her huh?
Pulling his hand, she stood on her tiptoe and pressed a quick kiss on his cheeks earning a smile on his face.
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"There", she said, brushing her lipstick off his cheeks, "Go now"
"Alright", Theo's eyes lit up in an instant, saying, "See you later love" quickly pressing another kiss on her lips before he walks away.
"Alright", Astraea repeated his words, staring at his back and watching him disappear in the corner, wishing that she could also have the same confidence right now cause she didnt know why but damn she's feeling nervous.
It should be easy right? Tell them that she had already stopped with the mission long ago, which her friends would have known if they received the flash drive she sent months ago but with no response means...
"Here goes nothing", she could only whisper to herself, closing her eyes to take a deep breath before openning the door.
"Are you sure about that?"
To her surprise, she found her friends huddled close together, staring at the laptop quite seriously that they didnt even notice her presence.
"Yes I've only seen this flash drive Astraea sent just earli-"
Before she got another case of cold feet, she immediately announced her presence by clearing her throat loudly, smiling and openning her arms wide when the duo screamed at once, running towards her and enveloping her in a group hug.
"Oh My!" / "You're here!"
Kiara and Malia both gushed over her, Astraea had to laugh at the way the both hug her so tight, she almost couldn't breath especially when they gave her one last squeeze saying, "We missed you girl!"
"So where've you two been?", she managed to ask when they finally let her go.
"It's a long story", Malia began, emphasizing the word 'long' as they all took a seat on the sofa in the receiving area of Kiara's office, "Kiara got cozy with your brother and your fiance"
Wait- What?!
At her friend's response, her eyes immediately widen, she could only stare at her friends in shock.
"Urgh", Kiara only rolled her eyes at her friends, "Actually I've been kidnapped by that fiance of yours, he kept asking where you were-"
"Luckily, your brother caught a wiff of what's going on when I told him Kiara's missing and can you believe it? He immediately set off to find her!", Malia cuts off Kiara's words animatedly which earned another eye roll from her friend.
Wait - so the reason why they're gone was because Marius, her supposed fiance kidnapped Kiara?!
And her brother, Marco, that stone cold brother helped her friend?
Damn. She knew it!
All those years when they were still studying and her friend was trying to get Marco's attention didnt go in vain.
"You should have seen him while we're looking for you. He's so worried I thought-", Malia told Kiara while Astraea secretly nodd and smile knowingly in the background.
"Enough about me", Kiara glared at Malia, before turning to her with a smile, "What about you?"
She didnt know if she should be anxious or perplexed at the sudden change of mood but the duo who was just fighting earlier began to scream in happiness again, both holding each of her hands, "We've already heard the good news!"
They did?
Astraea sighed in relief. Goodie, she'll be spared of going into details then...
"My brother already cancelled his arranged marriage!" Kiara and Malia stated simultaneously, whooping in joy as they high five each other, "I cant believe you actually succeeded on that impossible mission!"
Or not. Damn.
This is exactly what she fears.
Did they really think she'd still be on to that?
"It's not-" Astraea tried to intervene their small celebration but they had already pulled her up with them as the duo made a weird jig consisted of jumping while screaming and laughing.
"We're still looking at the flashdrive you sent us", Malia said while shaking her head, ignoring her protest.
"Well this is all fun but-", Astraea once again tried to butt in only to get drowned by Kiara's shushing, "Dont be shy, we're just wondering how you managed to convince my brother back out on his self imposed do-"
The sudden loud smashing sound shocked the three of them, ceasing her friends joyous celebration and effectively rendering them speechless as they all turn to stare at the sight that instantly turned her insides cold.
For there standing in front of them is Theo with his bowed head, his fist shaking in anger as he stares at the broken laptop with keys and pieces all over the place after he seemingly punched it hard.
"T-theo?", she asked slowly, swallowing the bile in her throat and hoping that it was all just a dream.
A nightmare perhaps.
Astraea's first instinct was to run and explain the truth, even beg for forgiveness but the fiery eyes that looked up at her, blazing with so many emotions; Anger, disappointment... disgust, she could only stare back in fear, rooted from the spot.
"Is that... all am I to you?", he asked her slowly, Astraea immediately shakes her head no, taking small steps closer towards him to try and explain even though she couldnt quite breath properly, cold fear had completely taken over her insides as she stared at the sight of the unfamiliar man in front of her. Not used to seeing the eyes that always looked at her with love and tenderness now intense with anger.
"A mission huh?", Theo laugh humorlessly, shaking his head before he violently threw the laptop on the floor and made a move towards the door after glaring at the three of them.
"N-No!", Astraea exclaimed, quickly going after him and clutched his arm, shaking her head furiously, desperately trying to make him see her reason cause Merlin! Didnt he know that meeting him is one of the best thing that happen in her life?, "I-It's not like tha-"
"Then tell me...", Theo whispered, stopping right before he reached the door. "They are lying right?"
Taking a deep breath, he looked back at her with small hope in his eyes like he was wishing that they were just pulling a prank or anything but that.
Astraea tried to bit back her sob unsuccessfully as tears fell down her eyes, whispering, "I'm sorry"
At her response, Theo closed his eyes and cried out loud before he grabbed the vases near him and propel it on the floor.
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"I-It's all our fault", Malia and Kiara tried to defuse the situation, grabbing her hand to pull her away from him who's still thrashing Kiara's office, "Yes we've convinced Astraea to-"
And just when she thought the situation couldnt get any worse, Theo asked, "Who's Astraea?!"
Silence followed his question as the three friends exchanged looks, none of them could give a coherent answer but it seems like they dont need to... cause with another series of loud curse, Theo banged the door before he left hurriedly after shouting, "Damn it!"
---------------------------------------------------------
*After a few weeks
"Where is it?"
Astraea shuffled around the bathroom all the while drying her face with a towel after she got sick all over again, holding a hand on her temple, she tried to cool down her aching head as she looked for the medicine in the cabinet.
Damn. This past few weeks feels like hell what with her being sick and her heart broken. She would give anything she can if only she could go back in those days where she lay in Theo's arms, curl up in their bed, sleeping peacefully.
God she missed him so much.
Just the thought of him was enough to make her tear up again, she probably should stop being this emotional cause she's been crying like this for days, her head is already aching like mad.
But how can she do that when every little thing reminds her of him...
Thank God, Kiara and Malia had sort of adopted her for the time being, taking care of her well being or she might have gone crazy by now.
Damn. She could still remember how she cried that first night on Kiara's apartment upon waking up alone in an unfamiliar bed without him by her side to kiss her 'good morning'. The reality of the situation attacking her, realizing that he might not be coming back to her after all.
She had to do something or everything they built would be nothing. Only, she didnt know how cause Theo has gone missing the moment he stepped out of Kiara's office and he wouldnt pick up her calls.
It has gone so bad that her friends advised her to just stay in Kiara's apartment while they go and look for him...
"How was it?", Aatraea's brows furrow hearing her friends hushed whispers, she couldnt help her curiousity and took a step towards their direction.
"Dont worry Astraea's already sleeping", a voice that could only belong to Malia said as she was the one who put her to bed earlier.
Astraea's breath hitched having a gut feeling of what they were talking about.
"I think it's better if we steer them clear away from each other first, let things cool down..."
"He's still super angry?"
So... they already found him? And they didnt tell her? Damn it! She knew they were keeping something from her.
"You bet. My brother wont even talk to me. All he does is drink and party like mad. We cant let Astraea see him like this."
She really appreciate her friends concern but shouldnt she also have a say on this? Cause she think she really needs to talk to him now, or as early as possible to clear things up before everything blows out of proportion. Wouldnt that be a better plan?
Surely if she explained everything to him he would understand right? And everything would go back to the way they were before, happily living their lives and reaching dreams together...
"Well at least we knew he's staying at my family's hotel"
"Yep. You texted the right address"
"So what do we do know?"
"Better wait cause at this rate, talking might do more damage than any good."
But Astraea's already done waiting for the perfect timing that might never come. She must do something. She had to take the situation in her own hands now.
+++++++++++
"Mam we' really can't disclose personal information to just any-"
"But I told you I am not just anyone", Astraea sighed out loud in frustration, tapping the counter as she tried to negotiate with the receptionist for the nth time, "Look. Can you please just call and tell him that Selene is here?"
She honestly thought sneaking out of Kiara's apartment and getting her friends cellphone would be the hardest part on this, but damn, she couldnt be more wrong.
"We're really sorry but-", the receptionist stopped midsentence before the guard whispered something on the girls ears as they turned towards the entrance, Astraea automatically turns too, only to gasp in surprise, feeling a shot of excitement and hope run through her for the first time in weeks at finally having a glimpse again of the only man she loved.
"Theo?", Astraea almost forget everything else around her, making a mad dash towards him while calling his name repeatedly only to stop a few meters away from him upon seeing his cold eyes that looked at her indifferently... realizing he's not alone. And that the girl who was clutching on his arms tight is breathtakingly beautiful, Astraea almost took a step back as if she was punched by the hard reality with all her hopes crashing down.
The past few days had been tough for her but she endured it, thinking and worrying about him, knowing he must be going twice or thrice the same pain, but damn it. Is this what he's been doing the whole time?
"C-can we talk... alone?" Still, she tried, even though her voice is cracking as she brushed off the tears that fell down.
"It's okay Ted I'll-", Astraea felt another stab at what the woman called Theo and his lack of reaction to it, like he had given the woman permission to do so.
Ted? She thought he hated being called that name? Just like he did with Theo...
And as if that didnt hurt enough, Theo hold on the womans hand when she's about to take her hand away from his arm and asked, "Do I know you?"
"Please dont be like this Theo-", she knew she is probably starting to sound desperate but she doesnt even care now.
"Do. Not", Theo cut her off with a glare, gritting his teeth as he speaks, "Call. Me. Theo"
"A-alright L-levant", Astraea stuttered at the sharp look he gave her, "M-Mr. Andrews"
"I don't have time for this", he said coldly and before she knew what she's doing, Astraea grabbed his other arm when he and the woman made a move to enter the elevator.
"Please hear me out first", she almost plead but Theo only ignores her, pressing his floor number on the elevator.
Astraea had no choice. Taking a deep breath, she swallowed her pride and dignity as she too step inside the elevator with them, avoiding the eyes of the other woman, knowing that she must be judging her right now.
But that is irrelevant now cause the only thing that really matters to her is Theo...
She could still fix this right?
Its not yet too late.
If only he would listen to her.
Astraea immediately turned towards Theo once the elevator door closes, saying, "I promise it wont take lo-"
Before she could finish though, he already cut her off with another one of his humorless chuckle that she is starting to hate, "What do you know about promises huh?"
Damn him. Its not like she did that task just for fun! Did he not know her well?
"If you could just trust me-", she started, now sounding really desperate, feeling like her tears would burst at any moments but it seems like he had already beat her cause the next thing she knew, he had punched the elevator wall causing a gasp from her and the woman while he screamed, "Trust?! Are we really talking about trusts?!"
Astraea tried to ignore another stab of pain on his hurtful words and immediately took hold of his hand that is starting to bleed but he only pulled his hand roughly away from hers, she had to look up to retort when his eyes blazing with anger met hers, rendering her speechless, she could only stare feeling her heart stabbed into pieces as Theo let the other woman gently wrap his injured hand with a handkerchief.
And as if it wasnt really enough, Theo began to lead the other woman outside the moment the elevator door opens, seemingly forgotten about her, Astraea had to hold on the back of his jacket in her last pitiful attempt to try and stop him from leaving, calling his name in a small voice, "T-theo"
She lied to him alright but does she deserve this?
Cause she isn't sure if she could take it knowing that the only man she love is alone on a room with a woman doing God knows what, she doesnt even want to think about.
Theo immediately turned to her with anger evident on his eyes, ready to snap at her but stopped upon seeing the look on her eyes, she thought for a second she finally got through him only for him to shake his head and gave the woman whom he was with the card key, leaving the two of them alone as he placed his hand on the elevator door to stop it from closing.
"You know what? You could wait till we finish or...", he said with a smirk on his face, pushing back the stray hair behind her ear before he leans close and whisper, "Why dont you come and join us. I'm sure we'll have... fun"
His words was enough to break her heart as her hand slowly let go of his shirt, she had to bow down her head just so she couldnt see the look on his eyes so she wont ever remember, hoping he couldnt see the tears.
Damn it.
She isnt prepared for this- NO.
She will never be prepared for this.
"Thats what I thought", she heard him say before he let go and she heard the elevator door closed.
It was all it took before she broke down, covering her face with her hand, feeling like millions of needles were stabbing her heart and she couldnt do anything to save it.
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This is her fault after all... She brought all this to herself when she agreed to that stupid mission.
And maybe, just maybe in all her twisted logic, she really deserves this.
A lie will still be a lie, even if the intention is good no matter how much she try to sugarcoat it.
It f*cking hurts like hell, she doesnt know how she'd ever get over this but damn, even after all this... she's still willing to wait until he's ready to listen.
++++++
*The next morning
"Hmmm..."
Astraea woke up feeling a gentle hand caress her face, the familiar scent that could only belong to him surrounds her, she honestly thought for a second that the past few hellish weeks had only been a nightmare.
"T-theo?", she whispered softly, slowly openning her eyes to see him staring at her lovingly just like the way he used to do, her breath hitched and she couldnt help the lone tear that fell from her eyes even as she smiled cause good lord she missed this. She missed him so much.
Astraea raised her hand to touch his, just to savor the feeling but as she do so, Theo gasped out loud and quickly pulled away as if he was burnt. Within a second, her Theo disappeared and there stood the man she didnt know, his cold eyes masking his emotions.
"Good you're already awake", he said, turning around and walking towards the window to open the curtains.
Astraea was momentarily blinded by the glare from the sun that it struck her... how did she end up here?
Cause the last thing she remembered was sitting on the lobby of the hotel, stiffling her cries as she wait for Theo and the woman to come down...
"You passed out on the lobby yesterday, the guard kept calling me so I brought you here", Theo provided her an answer after noticing her look of confusion, his voice devoid of any emotion as he speak, "You can leave now"
Astraea's hands fisted hard on the blanket at his words. Still, she chose to swallow her fears and ask, "C-can we talk first?"
Damn it. She is even prepared to beg just to make him see her reason if thats what he wanted.
Thats how desperate she is now. Pathetic she knew but its not like she has anything more to lose anyway, a little begging on her part wont do any damage anymore for she already threw away her pride, her dignity and damn, she's afraid she's also close to losing herself.
"Aren't we already talking?", Theo muttered, staring at her indifferently, Astraea couldnt bare looking back his hollow eyes, her knuckles already white in trying to hold on her emotions knowing that she is the cause of his pain, "Now if you're finish you can go ahead and-"
Try as she might, her tears started dropping again cause honestly, She didnt know what to do anymore. Or if she could ever still fix this.
"Listen to me", Astraea take a deep breath and started to confess, "Yes I did the mission-"
Her words immediately caught his attention just as his eyes darken with every word that came out from her mouth.
"Stop", Theo whispered, gritting his teeth like he was trying to contain his emotions.
Astraea only shake her head and continued speaking in desperation, brushing off her tears, "Yes I lied."
"I said shut it!", Theo bellowed in anger, holding a hand on his face as he let out another deep breath seemingly controlling his anger.
Still, Astraea couldnt be deterred, thinking that this might be her last shot, at least she knew in herself that she tried to fight for what they have even as her voice already crack while trying to bit back another sob, "-But I already stopped pretending after we get stucked in the islan-"
"Then what is this?!", Theo cut her off effectively with a low growl, showing her the films they had processed just before everything turns gruesome, "I cant believe I did not even notice anything!"
Astraea's eyes widen at seeing the pictures she had taken even way back, from the time when she was still gathering evidence that her breath hitched and she was rendered speechless for a moment, having nothing to say to defend herself that she could only watch Theo ripped their pictures in complete rage, his eyes staring at the pictures with such hatred.
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"No its not like that", Astraea found her voice, furiously shaking her head all the while brushing her tears off.
Maybe before, she does intend to use their pictures together but no, not anymore. In fact she had it processed for safekeeping but Theo wouldnt listen anymore to anything she say. No matter how hard she tried... or how loud she speak, he couldnt seem to hear her words.
Astraea hold a hand on her head as she felt an onslaught of head ache coming in full force, "Aarghh"
"W-what's wrong?", Theo's sitting beside her at once, cupping her face in his hands while looking at her with worry, Astraea didnt know if she should be thankful for the sickness she isnt sure how she contacted the past few weeks, knowing that he still cared for her as he asked her gently, "Are you okay?"
"Yes. Just a little dizz-", Astraea tried to ressure him but her response was enough to send him in another frenzy mood again.
"F*ck!", he whispered furiously in a series of curses as he covered his face with his hands looking frustrated with himself, "You're doing this, cause you know that I love you right?"
"What?", Astraea's eyes widen in disbelief, "No! I told you it's not-"
"You're playing with me cause you know that I can not hurt you!", Theo continued muttering like mad, his eyes turning to her intensely, he might as well screamed at her for his whispers cut through her heart like a knife, she couldnt even defend herself with his accusations.
"Did you even love me?", he asked looking almost close to pulling his hair out, shouting, "No! Dont aswer t-", when she opened her mouth to reply.
However, nothing could stop Astraea from finally speaking the words that she wanted to tell him right when she first recognize her feelings. Those three words that she hadnt had the guts to say cause to her, it means that saying it out loud would finalize those things between them, hoping to settle her own issues first before promising him forever.
But waiting for that perfect timing would seem impossible now especially when everything is out of her control.
Astraea couldnt keep it to herself anymore, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she blurted out, "Of course I do love you!"
Complete silence followed her confession until Theo shake his head slowly, chuckling in despair before he bowed his head, Astraea felt her heart broke seeing the tears he had tried to hide, brushing it away quickly.
"You dont... expect me to believe that do you?", he muttered softly, speaking so unbelievably calm, Astraea felt chills run down her spine when he turned to her, his usual jolly eyes now looking so hollow.
"You know what?", Theo continued in a flat tone, devoid of any emotion, "Just do me a favor and leave"
Astraea tried to fight back the sob that threatens to overpower her as Theo left her alone, closing the door behind him with a loud thud.
Is this how her and Theo end?
No!
Astraea furiously shake her head no, before she finally covers her face when her tears just wont stop. She had to take a series of deep breaths, tapping her cheeks and hoping to get her breathing back to normal for she couldnt afford a break down right now.
She had to do something cause she cant accept defeat. Not even when she had already laid down all her cards...
Damn!
She love him so much.
Didnt he say that he loves her too?
She knew he really does cause that short time they were together, he never failed to make her feel his love.
Thats why in her quite muddled mind full of desperation right now, she couldnt quite understand why they cant just be together?
Forgive and forget everything... Isn't what they have worth it? Isnt she worth it?
Astraea bowed down her head, wiping her face with her bare hands that she accidentally saw the necklace Theo had given her glint as if mocking her.
And that was all it took to make her remember and have full confidence of the love he had for her as she quickly stood up and sprinted towards the door, giving her last ditch attempt to fight for them.
"Thank you for bringing back my sister", Astraea heard a very familiar voice that was enough to instantly stop her from chasing Theo the moment she stepped in his living room. Her blood turning cold, her heart breaking even more at every second.
For there standing, on the other side of the room was her brother and she could only suspect one person as to how he had found her...
"No problem", Theo nodded coldly, confirming her fears before he made a move towards the direction of the door without even sparing her a glance, "Just dont let me see you two here again"
The implication of Theo's action was enough to drain even the last glimmer of hope she had... cause they already talked about possibilities of what would happen to her the minute she stepped back in her homeland.
What even hurt the most is that he seemed to be the one who called for it. He couldnt wait to get rid of her huh?
"That wont be any problem cause the moment you let a Leblanc slip out of your hands, I am quite sure you can never get it back again.", Marco told Theo and for one wild moment, Astraea's heart thundered after seeing Theo stopped on his tracks, she is pathetic enough to believe that there might still be hope.
But that wishful thinking was gone as quick as it appeared, she could only watch his back disappear from her sight.
Like the fool that she became, Astraea made a move to follow him but Marco quickly took hold of her arm, shaking his head, "Let him go. He's not worth it"
She really wanted to tell him no. He's wrong as she tried to pull away from his grasp.
Cause she truly believe that what Theo and her have is worth fighting for... but how can she do that when it seems like he had already given her up?
Still, Astraea stared hard at the door willing for some miracle that Theo might come back but every second that passed by without him felt like she was being stabbed, feeling her heart that was already breaking shattered and torn into pieces. That was the last thing she remember before she finally broke down, feeling all her pent up emotions came crashing down as the reality caught up on her.
------------------------------------------------------------
A/N: I dont have anything to say to defend myself. Please dont shoot.
P.S. Writing season 1 had been an enjoyable roller coaster ride, however, it made me feel too many emotions I am seriously feeling numb right now. I think I need to see a shrink or something.
Feedbacks, comment, reviews or suggestion would be really greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading!
@Lalashiie: I gotta say, that motivational comment worked hahaha thank you for the continuous support! I get what you're trying to say
Can you take me with you there Damn. I want to emote too!@NY2018: Will do with the GIF
It's okay. I knew you too were kinda busy. Hey! That was one of my favorite part too! I even included it in the short clip teaser I made for season 2. 
