To keep the story short, I did terrible my first semester there as I just partied and never did my work.
man u should've elaborated what "partied" was... sitting on the couch watching tv or was it sleeping?
Another dream is to help my family, cos there's no sense to my life if my dreams are only to feed my own needs.
why must u remind me to come back to reality? <_<
haha since i'm bored at work. i guess it's time for me to answer to this thread. well, like mike-o says, not like no one already knows my life, since i open my mouth so much eh?!?!
what is my dream?
my dream is to know what i want in life, and yes like some other odd numbers out there, i don't know what the hell i want to do with myself. i've done many things and moved on to many different things, but it's just not the right click.
let's start from elementary so i can make this a really lonnnggggg story haha!!!
well growing up, i've always had a passion in arts, although i can't draw to save my life at times, no ok i kid, i can't draw a majority of the time. but i try, and i've loved it. so since i was in about 5th grade, i knew i wanted to be an architect, i've enjoyed the shapes and designs of structures and buildings, it just brought about some joy in my mind. i liked painting, drawing, and doing anything relating to craft work. i remembered always tuning into the craft channel to see them glue stuff together and wanted to make something so bad haha it was an urge. heck, i had a yearbook from 6th grade and my goal on there listed, "i want to be an architect".
then when i entered high school, i had to join a high school academy, i had choices such as computers, medical, tourism, and a few others i don't remember, and i was told, computer is the hardest to get into from the presenters of the high school, so i wanted to challenge myself. since the only thing i knew of computers was typing because i had typing class in 8th grade... in which i made many banners from their black and white ink with old aged printer with those oldie days paper that u have to rip them apart ahahah gosh... well anyways. yes so i applied to computer academy at the high school, it was also a new program to the school so it was hardcore, it was called computer information systems, or CIS. being in that academy got me to change my frame of mind to think maybe i might be interested in this also?
then i started having art classes for electives and art came back in my life. my art teacher rocked! she was an art teacher i had when i was in elementary school, she came to teach older kids in high school so she remembered me. so we started talking about programs at a close by school. one of the well known art schools in my area is RISD, was and has always been my dream school. she told me she was asked if she knew any students interested in attending furniture school at RISD and so she asked if i'd be interested, at the time, i was quite unsure, but it was related to structure and stuff so i said, well i'll give it a shot as long as i don't pay for anything of course lol. i took furniture classes after school for about a few months, the classes were 2 times per week. learned some cool stuff and even made a chair from congregated cardboard that supports people's weight haha, it had to be able to hold someone's weight if someone sat on it, and it did so i passed the course.
after, the furniture class, i was thinking can this be something i wanted to do? and i got a pretty quick response from myself, it was no. although it is amazing to see the gorgeous chairs that were made and stuff, it just wasn't for me.
at the same time, high school freshmen year was hard! from someone who knew crap about computers, we were tought ms-dos, office suite in a short span of time. but as i learned it, i guess it was getting entertaining. so i thought maybe i might like this type of stuff. as the year progressed we've moved on to html and minor graphic editorial stuff and so i decided to do some stuff on my own. i've sat at home like many odd individuals out there designing a simple asianavenue page (ahahah does anyone remember that eh???) i was able to do some pretty slick things with html editing haha. so i thought eh, html is interesting, and just from simple codes i put in, i was able to manipulate some pretty cool effects and stuff.
at the same time or close to the same time, my art teacher knew i had a passion for architect so she asked me if i wanted to try something out and she'd help me get the funds so i can go into this summer program at RISD, and i was sooooo excited. took some time to gather paperworks and a small portfolio of some artworks i've done, they accepted me and gave me full financial support, i was soooooo happy, although i had to pay for art supplies, which was freaking pricey ugh! anyways, it was an architect summer program for high school students from all over the country and world. i had met some very talented people there, and i'm sure they probably made it back to art school. after having a full summer of architecture classes...i thought, maybe this isn't really for me. however, at the same time, i was having other art classes, graphic design, drawing, and art history. which i didn't mind at all, i loved drawing class because we were able to explore many types of things like free form, contour, painting with acrylic and watercolor, pastel crayons, charcoal...it was awesome. oh and we even had nude drawings. graphic design was more towards manual rather computerized, so we drew many things like the illusion types of graphics, that was interesting also. so from this, what i got for myself was just a realization that i do enjoy art a lot, but i don't think it's really something i want to do for my full potential. although i was still questioning if it was just because i didn't get to explore other aspects of it.
headed back to high school as a junior, noticed my academy class dropped by half because some were kicked out for failing or getting below the accepted grade, and also some just dropped out. the head of the academy and the principal got a hold of a near by local college that was willing to grant a few students from the academy a class in a programming language. i was asked, and like someone who keeps on saying sure... i accepted. to tell the truth, i wasn't so enthused about this class at all, nevermind excited. i just thought hey, how can it hurt me, if i pass, i'll get some college credit also and best of all, it's free. and i might learn something from it...? at the same time, CIS required juniors and seniors to do internship at participating middle schools and elementary schools. we went to other schools to hook up their network, or troubleshoot their network...as if!!! free labor! and i had an ongoing assignment at school to develop a webpage for the school. at first, there was 3 of us going to that programming class, then somehow it ended up just being me. possibly because we were a damn high school junior taking a programming language called COBOL with other junior and seniors in college??? i felt like a dumbass in that class. no clue what was going on for the first couple of months, then somehow when all my classmate from high school ditched me, it finally clicked what the hell i was doing. ahh and good thing i passed with a B- because i got 3 college credits from that
so i finished that, thinking okay, maybe i can live with computers, but computer science or computer programming, til this day i still don't know. it makes sense to me, but it just takes a bit of time for it to click in my mind. and school, it was now senior year and i had to determine what i want to do with myself. my parents weren't really thrilled of the fact that i wanted to go to school for arts, they prefer i do something other people does like computer programming, business, or anything along the lines. but they don't really know much of art, and they said okay go for what you want, but i do prefer you to do this. and as a person who does not want to disappoint my parents, i decided not to apply to art school, didn't even put my portfolio together when i did have some artworks i've collected together. so i've just applied to 4 schools, all locally besides one catholic school which i regret not applying to, or else i would've had a free ride, i'm pretty positive urgh so mad... anyways, i was accepted to all 4 schools 2 private, 2 public, i had a full ride at both public schools, but my dad preferred that i not go to the public school because it's well known for being a party hardy school while the other one isn't as well known...to the lao community as a good school (the things i had to deal with). so i went ahead and accepted the private school in which i didn't have a full ride, and must expense at least half out of my pocket per year. but to make my parents happy, there i decided to go...bryant college, now known as bryant university.
graduated high school, like tim, people had high expectations of me because of how well i did in high school. but i was just so lack of inspiration or passion i just went to school as if i had to get it done. i went in majoring in CIS, but ended up switching in my sophomore year to management, regardless, my bs was in business administration, but my concentration went from CIS to management so i can get a broader choice because i don't know if i can live with computers for the rest of my life. but i do know it's a necessity for my life. so i focused on human resource management, because from taking general business core classes, human resource was interesting and so i studied much of that aspect. while i still did minor computer stuff, such as took a flash class and learned some flash, which was pretty neat. graduated with a bs in business administration, concentration in management, in areas of human resource management and minored in psychology because i thought it'd only makes sense i learn people behavior before having to go deal with them.
graduated a few years now, worked in banking, traveling and healthcare industries. and discovered that when i work with these different industries, i enjoyed all of it, it wasn't like i disliked it for the job, i disliked the people that made the job hell. banking, i got to deal with people, dealt with money, and saw how things should be operated if i was a customer and as if i was a teller or if i would ever be a manager of a branch. i've thought of going back to banking, but more towards corporate rather front line... because that's just not for me. traveling, the job was fun, i even got to go on a trip to western canada from it, it was a good good job, i would've loved to stay there if it wasn't for the bitchy manager who always pushed the buck upon me. i'm a true workaholic, but if you don't treat me with respect, i will not even look at you nevermind work for you, so i decided to leave. took a break, went on vacation, and came back to try to look for something for HR related work, but none! (in my area, happy tim?) so i decided to go for a temp agency job, and i was brought to work in a hospital, i started to work for a doctor primarily doing some research stuff for him. not that i love the job, but it pays my bills, i stayed for about 5 months and took another break and left to thailand again! haha... then came back and couldn't find anything... decided to pass my resume to the doctor, and he hooked me back up with my old job thru the hospital instead of the agency, so now i'm back working at the hospital.
i really don't know what i want to do from here, i'm just here because it pays my bills and gives me money to pay for gas, but other than that, i have no ambition, passion nor inspiration for anything here. i've thought of going to radiology school so i can get a better paying job, but it's just a waste of my 4 year degree that i paid so much for. i see a degree as nothing more than just a certificate that brands you as someone who has wasted 4 years of their life paying for tuition and partying. i see people who's graduated at the same time as me succeed and i think to myself, wtf is wrong with me, why am i here, what am i doing? but then i answer myself again, and it's i don't know.
i was thinking of getting my masters, i wanted to go back to school for industrial design, but it'd cost me a leg and arm. getting my mba might be approachable but what will i do next? gosh, see it's not just people who's just stepping into the college life who struggles to determine what they want in life, it's a neverending battle for me because i simply can't decipher what i want. for those that know what they want, power to them for knowing exactly what they want and walking towards that path... but for me, i guess i'll keep on walking into different paths until i find something that will make me happy...it's hard to determine if i'm happy because i am okay with doing most of the things i do now, it's just not something i love doing. lol well my next path is programming again. i'm looking into php programming and am trying to get back into it (i promise).
haha if someone actually read this whole thing i typed... wow thanks for reading haha i hope i didn't cause u blindness from reading.
ok let me look for something else to answer to
