Good Relationship Articles

[Ms.Zoe]

Hehe...I do see/understand what you mean. It is like the guy warns the girl that in loving him, she could get hurt by him but she knows that he would not hurt her in any way. The other phrase, it is like the guy has other lovers so he tells the girl that but she insists in loving him knowing she will get hurt...lol...that are my interpretations.

The phrase reminds me of this quote "No one is worth your tears but the one who is won't make you cry." . Well he won't make you cry because he will not do anything that will hurt you but you just cry, tears of joy because he loves you & that he is worth for you to cry because he is a good man....

I came across a favorite phrase of mine from a fanmade mv of 'HEALER'
 
The conversation went:
 
Guy: I can hurt you
Girl: No, you will not hurt me
 
Anyway, this dawned on me that those who say 'I can't hurt you' actually is the one who hurt you and those that say 'I can hurt you' end up to be the one not hurting you (or maybe this is just me seeing the romantic side to this whole small conversation lol)  So, what do you think? Do you see the same way as I did too?

 

[cecilia]

I like to cry happy tears ... hate tears of pain -- anyway, I do take the warning to heart when the guy says 'I don't want to hurt you.' Don't want to get hurt because they will hurt me eventually  

 

[cecilia]

What a great husband ... I like Adam a lot more than before now :wub:

http://www.lollipop.sg/content/how-adam-levine-saved-model-wife-horrific-wardrobe-malfunction-red-carpet#xtor=CS1-2

 

[sarN]

guy that say " I can't hurt you " are just sweet talker vs " I can hurt you " are the one that's taken already  :yuck: . The man I meet while living oversea said he love me regardless of my past or my background , since I'm from the USA , in their mind us girl are 'wild & spoil & free sex type of life style' --   prejudice thinking really :weee: but that's how those country man view us and if  I say other wise it only gain fake sympathy  . He said he will take care of me and would not let me starve ( country man said the funniest thing ) and he not a player nor will he ever hurt me in words or hand. I almost give in ...almost but it will never work , love does take two  to tangle, one side love isn't enough & I can't endure living a life as a farmer's wife & I do not love him enough to goes thur it . I'm afraid of hardship &  materialize as well,  to have such a life w/him . I do sound a bit snobbiest but I was being honest & realistic . He can be the most wonderful & romantic guy in the world but if your feeling isn't the same it's not worth leading him on . I turn down lot of good man (ALL OLDER MAN) . It just suck when you can't return such a love , I'm will never find a good person , I'm going meet a bad boy and get my heart broken  :yes:

 

[byebye]

Me and my husband were talking about money....well he asked would I rather be poor and be with him or be rich and be without him. And said, that love is all that matter...my answer, heck no.
 
I told him love doesn't pay the bills or keep me from starving. As much as the idea of loving someone fully, I would not starve myself because of love. You have to have some money, maybe not filthy rich but enough to pay the bills and roof over your head. I said, you are telling me that someone would be completely happy with love when they are living from paycheck to pay check or not knowing if they are able to put food on the table? I never want to be rich I just want to be comfortable.
 
My husband was like, you can be rich in some other ways...Nope, I said a person can never be fully happy if they don't have a little money because they are too stress out about how to pay for things and not knowing when they are going to eat or not isn't going to make one happy because they are in love.
 
I ended the conversation saying, if someone can go hungry and live on the street all for the name of love...Well, good luck. My husband went silent

 

[sarN]

Girl, I do agreed 100 % !!!! In my case , I  wasn't sure if I could ever come back into the state , one year , two year, three year had gone by that i realize might as well live happily and laid it on fate hand :cry1: . Yes , love does not pay bill & I do not want to marry into poverty & I do not love him enough to face that , I felt he was beneath me and I deserve more , Im such an awful person but it's the truth , one can not live on love no matter how sincerely  or  handsome   or how sweet  his word are , he came w/ too much baggage and his family will leech on me because i have family oversea who willing to send money to me if i wanted it . Crazy ! I broke his heart bad. I do have fond affection for him I really do but i couldn't do it and now that I'm in the state ,  there to much temptation around  me to think of him  :baby:

 

[byebye]

Hahhha Sarn...talking about money I told my husband that if we ever win the lottery like powerball...I would give him half and we go our separate way . The man curse me and said, hopefully I never win it. I have been playing when it gets to more than $100 millions but I am lucky if I even hit 1 number lol

 

[sarN]

O' man , if i win the million , young man will flock to my nest hahaha...my dream will be complete . 

 

[byebye]

If I win I will be set for life...still live way below my means and sit on those millions till I die...and my husband will have his millions and do with whatever he wants cause well...he has his life and I shall have mine lol. That is why God will never let me win cause my plan is just evil.

 

[sarN]

haha same here , because of my karma w/older man , god will not allow me to win and live happily ever after w/ a younger man that will leech to my wealth

 

[byebye]

If I win the lottery I don't want any man. I mean, why would I want one so he can help me spend my money? No thank you. I can do that just fine all by myself. I will travel the world and back again. Buy one nice vacation home somewhere when I want to get away from things at home I can just go and relax.
 
I'll take all you girls from the relationship forum to somewhere nice lol. Wouldn't it be funny to all meet and talk about relationship while sipping on a glass of wine or your favorite alcohol with a hottie waiter hahahha...dreams sometimes come true so...never know

 

[sarN]

You're married for 16 years , of course you wouldn't need a man hahah but we are single cougar woman ! I don't mind to have one or two under my wing to make me feel superior :ghehe:  but yeah , if i do win , i'll treat everyone in this relationship forum to alcohol & cocktail at a strip club or something , we can 'let it go' then 

 

[cecilia]

lol - In this case, I wish that both of you win
 
I don't want to feel superior to my other half or vise versa lol -- I want equal rights

 

[byebye]

Sarn, right now I am married for almost 16 years but that is before winning the lottery...like I've stated in my earlier posts, if I even win the lottery chances are I won't stay married lol. I even told my husband if I win you will have a nice life with half of my winning...without me. We were arguing about if we win the lottery I would like to buy a nice house somewhere just for us to enjoy ourselves...a nice getaway home. I mean, if we won like 100+ millions a nice house worth 1.5 mil wasn't going to drain our account.
 
Well, hubby was getting onto me about why would we want to do that just because we have the money. We don't need another house anywhere. So, you see if I ever do win the chances of me ever staying married to him is slim to none cause we would not agree on what we spend it on etc...so to make it easier I just went ahead and told him if I ever to win...I will gladly share him half of it and we shake hands and say...bye bye lol

 

[sarN]

lol - In this case, I wish that both of you win
 
I don't want to feel superior to my other half or vise versa lol -- I want equal rights

 
My mother said " It's better if you  break him first before he break you"  It mean as a woman we should have the upper hand before anything is decided , that ways before any decision he must check w/ us first , with our permission  and then he can precede. Sound a bit controlling huh? My mother also said " Love your husband but do not let him know how much because he will have the advantage and become lazy". My sister for example , her BF ( been together ...15 years) till this day fear my sister will leave him because when he does thing w/o consulting first w/her , she get mad and would not talk to him and continue to goes out w/ friends and have a blasted time and she make more money than him like 5 X and he know it . She young , good looking , smart , ton of friends and make wise business decision with everything she invest in . She a good catch! He always do thing to impress her but she would only tell him its nice or keep it up . She keep to herself how she proud of him because she do not want him to know how much she love him . Their relationship is very cute and it's all because she took my mother advice . He report to her everyday and before he do something he would ask her first and if he want to spend money on thing he would ask her if its ok . I want a man like that.

 

[cecilia]

LOL I like all these advices but I think at the end, we just have to pick what's best for us ... what works for other may not work for us so this I'll leave it to my own discretion with my other half. 

 

[byebye]

Meaning he's whoop Sarn j/k
 
My other brother is just the opposite. Lord, when I am around them I cringed. He makes more money than her but she also makes good money. Both have a master's degree and just smart to boot. But gosh, I don't even know what to say. He never has enough money in his wallet. One time, he wanted to give my mom some money, he would walked around in circle because his wife is there...he waited till she was gone to give my mom $40. That was all he had. My mom told him to keep it because she feels bad but because she knew the situation but he insist.
 
She gives him an allowance just enough for gas and lunch for work. And this is him making almost 2Xs as her. I do feel bad for him but shoot when he opens his mouth and I hear the way he talks to her...I shake my head and sometimes find myself saying...you deserves it.
 
When I got married....since I got married the traditional Cambodian way...there's one part of the ceremony where we both sit down in front of the monks and had two candles lit in front of us. Laying down was hard to lift your body any higher than what your neck can get you lol. Anyway, I had 2 ladies that was sitting next to me that refused to let me get any lower.
 
They said to me, keep an eye on the candle at your side, never to let it lit lower than his because if it does it means you are going to be the lesser of the two in the marriage. He will be in charge and in control. Boy, once I heard that I was craning my neck like a giraffe. And the funny thing is, one of the older lady got a pillow and puts it under my elbows so....it made me sit up higher and my candle lit up higher than his the entire time of that part of the ceremony.
 
I was 20 years old when I got married....at that time I believe in anything

 

[cecilia]

I don't know .. I think it's okay to love your parent as much as you can, be it your in-law or your real parent.  If my husband wants to give some money to his parent then I'm okay with it as long as he's okay with me doing the same to my parent too.  Seriously, I'm all about giving a fair share of love -- I won't control him because I don't want him to control me too so as long as we both share the burden equally, I'm okay with his decisions - I truly believe in giving each other spaces and respect

 

[sarN]

It better for the girl to be the controlling one in the relationship. With my sister & her bf they are perfect together . She doesn't hold his money nor does he touch any of her but if he does thing w/o her consent she only tell him do not talk to her because she does not agreed w/ it . Very simple but it have a big impact on him because he could lose her . She told him if one day a better man come alone she will have to make a decision . He always try to better himself because he know my sister have way more than him . Which is a good thing really , let the guy earn your love and your respect . As for the in-law , giving money to elder is a good thing and my mother always said " giving to those that give birth to you is the greatest merit than going to 10 temple" . My sister give his mother allowance lol

 

[byebye]

I am like that with my husband though. I never care what he gives his parents cause I give mine the same amount. Like on holidays, if he wants to give her X amount...I'm cool. Because honestly, I have the best in laws in the world....well, my father in law sometimes annoys me but he's still cool. And my brother in law I love to pieces.
 
My in-laws never ever call to bother us...never ask for money just plain never butts into our marriage whatsoever. That is what I just love about them. If we give them money they will take it...if not they never ask us for a dime. They don't care what we do as long as we are happy as a couple. My brother in-law will cook anything I ask of him and pretty much drives me anywhere I want to go. My husband always tell him that he needs to stop spoiling me.
 
My husband is a momma's boy. When we go to visit them...he is all over his mom. He kissed her, hugs her, messed with her face. He is very affectionate with her and loves her to death. They say, if a man knows how to treat his mom, then you got a good one. Not true, more than often I feel he just want to smack me if he could lol.
 
I agree, you just have to be fair. You can't give your parents more than you give your in-laws. Cause he loves his parents just as much as you love your parents so it has to balanced out.