Chapter Fourteen
Andrew thought this particular past would not revisit him, yet here he is sitting in the comfort of his own home looking at Lana through unforgiving eyes. She was once his love. They say your very first true love has an ever lasting imprint in one’s imperfect heart. But for him, it was a lesson learned.
She has matured from the shy, fragile girl that she once was. Perhaps life has hardened her just a bit. But her lips remained as beautiful as he remembered them to be, her skin pale even more with the reflection of the afternoon light.
He studied her from the brim of his coffee cup. He noticed how fatigue her eyes came across as if it hadn’t seen a good night sleep in quite sometimes though they are as always will be the drawing point of her. Her cheekbones more defined from losing a few pounds he assumed.
He drank his coffee slowly, letting the bitter taste kick in his body reminding him exactly of the same taste he once had with Lana. Bitter. His gaze traveled to her seeing how she sat there stiff, not looking at him but something above his head.
Her short straight hair hung slightly over her face, in a way trying to hide a secret from the world. He thought back to how at one point in his life he wanted badly to build a future with her. But now he was glad she chose her way, dusting her hands free of him, thinking she had found another man more capable of taking care of her than he could.
Andrew dipped his lip inside the cup, touching the coffee but did not drink it, he watched how she lowered her head her forehead inched up and was thinking of something to say. But whatever it was that came to her mind, she took it back and drank her coffee with a blank stare instead.
Lana is a changed woman but he is also a changed man. Both have separated and moved on in different paths and he isn’t ashamed to say he is doing just fine, more so than she looked right now. He is a married man to one of the most difficult girl he has ever met, but yet he can safely say he prefers Matt over Lana. He smiled into his cup thinking of that very person.
“I missed you.” The soft spoken words that carried through like rain scattered in the night and it caught him off guard but just slightly.
Andrew averted his eyes. “Marriage isn’t as good as it once was?”
“I’m divorced.” There was no bitterness or regret in that voice of hers.
Andrew said nothing.
It made no difference in that admission. She was his past, the future was a mystery, but the present he is a married man. That changes everything. But even if he was single, he would not go back to her. Her loyalty wavered like the uncertainty of a wind on a hot day.
“You have done very well for yourself.” A sadness he saw played across her eyes and inching up were regrets. “I remembered how indecisive you were when we were together, you didn’t have a plan or what it is exactly you wanted to do. How a few years changed it all?” Her voice dropped.
“I’m doing ok.”
A smiled that never reached her eyes graced her lips. “I think it’s significantly better than OK.”
Andrew's eyes went to his left and kept it on the door.
“Do you love your wife?”
The question came out unexpectedly that Andrew force a cough to stay put.
“It’s my business whether I do or not.” He suddenly became annoyed by her question. She had no right to know the answer than the next person. What he felt for Matt was his prerogative.
“She must be a pretty girl. But she has to have something in her that stood out from the rest to make you agree to marry her in the first place. We dated a few years you never even took it into consideration.” She finally awarded herself to look at him, but quickly turned her attention back to her cup.
Andrew stood up, looking at his watch he let his distraction took him away from the conversation briefly. Where the hell is Matt? It is funny how being in Lana’s company made him missed Matt more than he realize.
Lana sensed that his mind is elsewhere, she stood up. Andrew is not the same man that she once loved. He had finally grew into his own person, has a role in this world that meant something. She wished she knew this side of him because if she had, she would never leave him for a husband that was ten times worse than Andrew was ever to her. Taking a sigh of regret she laid her cup down. Her eyes are getting too tired too easily these days.
“I just wanted to come by and see how you are doing, since I am back in town.” She smiled shyly.
The same smile that once made his heart danced.
“I’m getting by.” He answered shortly.
“I see.” But she doesn’t want to believe that he had moved on and found happiness while she is miserable in the choices she made in life.
The door opened and Matt walked in, but stopped when she found them standing alone. She stared at them shortly and her attention went straight to the woman that stood with a purpose. Matt curiously eyed whomever the pretty girl that stood like a little delicate flower now smiling faintly at her. Then Matt’s eyes gingerly made its way to her husband, was it relief she saw?
Andrew moved to his wife, in a speed of eagerness that made Lana jealous. “Where have you been?”
Matt stared at him at a lost.
“Sweetheart, come here let me introduce you to someone.” Andrew wrapped his arm around Matt’s shoulders he could hear a tiny sigh from her lips causing him to squeezed her tighter. “Matt, I would like you to meet Lana.” Andrew smiled so charmingly with the introduction Matt wanted so badly to roll her eyes.
Why the man was such a great actor, pity he picked the wrong profession. He could have made a fortune.
“Congratulation,” Lana said extending a hand. “Andrew finally settled down.”
“Thank you.” Matt accepted Lana’s hand and shook it unsure what to make of things, she looked up to Andrew whom smiled adorably at her and winked.
Good grief, he is taking acting to an all new level.
“Tell Lana Matt, how we end up tying the knot. It was like one of those stories you can only read in a book.” He reached up and patted her head, like she was a good girl.
Matt bit her lip.
“When we were dating, Andrew was a bit reluctant to get married.” Lana turned to Andrew whom dismissed her by patting Matt’s head a bit harder when he felt she was about to let her tongue carried her away.
So they used to be lovers? Was that the reason why Andrew so perfectly put on a show? Matt felt a tug of an unexplained feeling sweeping through her. Why would he care to display such affection if they were a past? Matt smiled and turned such loving eyes to Andrew, it caused his hand to tense behind her head.
“Oh, yes, our wedding.” Matt stared off to space, her eyes fluttered like a butterfly trying to escape its capture. She beamed at Lana. “I dashed inside the church with my red dress on and demand him to marry me.” Matt saw the way Lana lifted a brow, she continued. “But Andrew is just a man, who can deny such a charming lady?” Matt looked at Andrew shyly.
“Now dear, exaggerating the story isn’t going to make it that much more interesting.” Andrew leaned into her ear. “A little cooperation wouldn’t hurt.” He whispered.
“What am I supposed to do? You are doing a perfect job.”
“Your story is a little far fetch.”
“It is half the truth I did walk inside the church with my red dress on and…”
Fine, Matt thought if he was going to try and prove something to his ex-girlfriend she’ll make it even more out there that even she can’t believe it. Matt clapped her hands, blinking and smiling all dreamy, too exaggerating for Andrew, and he knew what was coming when he lowered his eyes to her.
“Andrew is such a loving husband, cherishing me with all these sweet little surprises.” Matt’s eyes actually twinkle with wonderment. She continued when Andrew just stared at her and Lana lips move a little upward. “One time when I was so tired and couldn’t move he even made me a bubble bath. Isn’t that the sweetest?”
Lana turned to Andrew. He shook his head even to his ears it sounded foreign. If Matt was going to lie couldn’t she at least come up with something more believable? A bubble bath?
He had no choice now but to go along. “Whatever pleases you,” he leaned in and gave her a quick kissed on the cheek.
“You two seem happy.” Lana watched with a twist in her throat. Andrew had changed so much.
“I am so happy, the happiest of all the women in the world.” Matt exclaimed with another clapped.
Andrew saw the way her mouth move almost too eagerly he had to stopped her. “He didn’t waste time in…” Matt suddenly got cut off when his hand came over her mouth.
“Now, Matt, our dirtiest little secret will remain behind closed door.” He looked her in the eye warning her. “We don’t want Lana to get shock do we?”
He only let go of his hand when Matt nodded in agreement.
“Oh, but I have to tell Lana this part. On our wedding night Andrew was such a dear, he surprised me when he had our room lit up with candles and roses of all different colors scattered around the room.”
“Ok, I think she gets the point.” Andrew grabbed Matt’s arm and yanked her with him. “It was nice seeing you again Lana.” Andrew said over his shoulder, while trying to pull Matt along.
Lana stared almost in a dazed at what she saw. She would not have believed it if she hadn’t seen it with her owns eyes. Andrew really did found that piece of happiness that he once shared with her when they first started to talk.
This time a sadness took over her completely, her eyes dropped she added another failure to her list. She wanted to see how he was doing and he seemed to be a whole lot better than she is. Walking out, she closed the door behind her.
Andrew turned on Matt the moment they were alone. “What the hell was that all about?”
“I don’t know you tell me.” Once the acting stopped Matt became agitated by scene she witnessed earlier.
“Can’t you at least pretend?”
“Pretend to be so in love with my husband in the eyes of your ex-girlfriend? I did my best.”
“He drew me bubble bath, candles and what else roses?” Andrew mocked her.
Matt brushed past him and reached for the door. “Next time you want it to be believable, hire an actress. I’m sure she’ll add a bonus with drools all over her. And perhaps if she swoon right at your feet Lana would be that much more impressive.” Matt tried to slam the door but the thing wouldn’t have it. It closed instead so softly and nicely.
Matt rushed to the backyard this time she successfully slammed the door as loudly as she could the sound though only brought a temporarily satisfaction. She crossed her arms and looked out to the open field, the sun seemed hotter and brighter than usual but her anger almost matched it.
She didn’t know what bother her the, most the fact that he waited till she’s out the house to invite his ex-girlfriend home or that she was afraid she’s seeing her father in Andrew. He could be a monster with an uncontrollable temper, eyes that can make her at times want to crawl inside a safe place but that she has the tools to fight him with but if he betrayed her she has nothing against it, nothing at all.
And somehow that thinking made her paused she was more scarred and wounded than she liked to believe of what her father did to her mom.
The love she had so craved like her tongue for water on a thirsty day was going to be overshadow by the, what ifs because she couldn’t run fast enough by something another person did rather than what she did.
Even if Andrew and Matt walked hand in hand or side by side they will eventually go back to where they started. And seeing, him with his ex-girlfriend proved that it’s just a matter of time. So it’s basically her fault that would be their downfall or her downfall to any relationship. She didn’t want to give her love to someone and have them trash it or hand it back to her without appreciating its value.
Andrew walked leisurely outside, hearing the door almost falling off its hinges he didn’t have to guess her whereabouts. But when he finally reached the backyard Matt wasn’t there. He put his hand up, forcing the sun away from his face looking out to the endless acres of nothing but green grass to see where Matt had went to.
He gave out an annoying breath one day of getting along was all they have. One day! Today is a little less desired. Hopefully Lana saw the bigger picture rather than the act he decided to put on. And if she didn’t, well, it’s just too damn bad.
“Lana is a pretty girl, why did you guys break up?”
Andrew heard the voice as if she was talking right in his ear, closing his eyes he didn’t want to know where she was. Turning around to her with hands on his hips he looked up and there was Matt sitting on the tree as if she was lounging in one of the most comfortable chair.
“For someone being pregnant she sure can climb a tree like a monkey.”
“I am not and you know it, your mom isn’t here so I can do as I please.”
“You are acting like a child, get down here Matt!” He yelled.
Matt lifted her chin up. “I am very comfortable up here. You can go wherever you want.” She shooed him away with her hands. “Why didn’t you tell Lana the truth? She seemed to still be in love with you.”
“Aren’t we the miss-know -it -all.” He said sarcastically. Then something registered in him, craning his neck at Matt he could see a bit more into her behavior.
“I am not seeing what’s not there.”
“I am not your father Matt.”
And that statement brought her to a halt. She opened her mouth, closed it and stared silently to the empty world in front of her.
“You think every man is out to hurt you, that’s unfair and prejudice in your thinking. If you enter a relationship having that hanging over your head, you might as well kiss it good-bye because it’ll never work.”
She didn’t answer.
“You should not dream up a fairy tale love story because that’s inviting a devastating heartbreak. But you also should not start out with a negative point against the man already.”
Matt squint her eyes and kept them outward.
Andrew lowered his gaze to the ground, is he talking to a mute or what?
“I’m just a temporary wife, it’s none of my business what you do or with whom,” even if she said that and wanted to believe it but it didn’t feel right.
And that angered him. “So you are going to be the good little wife that doesn’t mind her husband hopping around town with another woman?”
She finally look at Andrew, his eyes hot on her, he stood tall and a man that’s carefully walking on thin ice.
“Well, can I stop you?”
“Matt, you are about to make me angry, I am not going to break my neck by looking up to you the entire time I am talking to you. Get your behind down here!”
She thought twice about doing what he asked but she was sure as the night will be dark, if he comes up himself to get her she’ll likely be treated like a child that will get the punishment she deserve.
“Fine!” She yelled out. “Stay out of the way, I am coming down.”
Not soon after she said that, her foot slide off the tree sending her arms in the air, she let out a scream but it was too late for Andrew to do anything, her back landed right on his chest taking him with her. His head knocked harshly to the ground, her weight putting pressure on his back, even with that, his arms remained around her waist.
Matt heard a moan coming from Andrew she scrambled off of him and knelt beside him. “Are you OK?”
He brushed her hands away, taking a deep breath he fought off the pain and the few stars still dancing around his head.
“Didn’t realize you want to kill me so early,” Andrew tried to get up but the pain in his head still throbbing, he gave up and lay flat on his back, pinching the bridge of his nose he took in deep breaths.
“I didn’t mean to, really I didn’t. No matter how much I don’t like you I wouldn’t kill you off.”
“Very reassuring my dear,” his breaths a bit steady, he tried once more to get up
Matt put her hand behind his back to support him when he just stared at her like she has something on her face one that is quite ugly to be exact.
“Your eyes, they are gorgeous against the sun.” Andrew touched his head and felt a little bump he sighed.
Matt shook her head, it was worse than she thought. “Hopefully there isn’t any permanent damage.” She helped him up. “I don’t want to extend my stay.”
“Already thinking about the exit day, kick the man while he’s down.” Andrew brushed his pants and his hands before turning to Matt.
Andrew took a few steps and paused, letting the pain eased a bit before taking a few more steps.
“Matt.”
“Yes.”
“There’s one more thing.”
“What is it?”
“Besides being scared, you are quite the jealous wife.”
Lana weakly lifted her hand to knock on the door. Once, twice turning her back to walk away when the door opened and Mac stood there looking at her trying to figure out why she looked so beaten. Lana quietly walked into his arms.
“I saw him today.” She said resting her petite self in Mac’s strong embrace.
“Suck didn’t it?”
“It is he has changed.”
“He’s married.”
“I met his wife too, they are happy...” Lana admitted with such difficulty. “I made a mistake Mac, a grave mistake of not patiently waiting for him. I have lost everything it hurts.”
Mac looked out, holding Lana is like holding to the past. He had fought for her more than Andrew had ever but Lana had never given him a chance. He had given up hope years ago when she up and married someone else. But he had accepted the truth that they are just not meant to be. How can you force a love from someone that wouldn’t even in her most beautiful or dreadful day given you anything more than a friendship.
Mac’s jaw tensed and he wanted to laugh at how he and Andrew at one point were so against each other because of Lana but at the end no one ends up with her. After years of maturity and believing what is in front of his eyes, he shook his head.
“We make mistakes in life you just paid a bit more than others.”
“I paid for it with a life it’s so much more Mac, so much more.” She sobbed thinking about the true cost of her choices.
“I know, now try hard not to think about it.” He held her tighter. But Mac knew he couldn’t and didn’t know how to make Lana see it differently.
“Not a day goes by I don’t think about it.”
Changing the subject he pulled Lana away slightly. “Did Andrew do anything to hurt you?”
She shook her head, wiping her tears she looked up to Mac. “No, honestly I don’t think it matters to him one bit whether I am there or not. His mind was with his wife the entire time. I wasn’t hoping for much to begin with but seeing him truly happy in his marriage I can’t help wishing the girl was me.”
This time Mac laughed. “Isn’t it something? Out of the three of us who would have thought Andrew is the one with a marriage life. Hell, I thought I would have settled down before him.”
“Have you met his wife?”
“I have, Matt is her name. She’s different than what I imagined his wife to be. He had always seemed to be attracted to girls that he tends to able to take care of. Like you.” Mac touched her head playfully. “I mean the one where he thinks it’s his duty to protect. His previous girlfriends had been petite, shy and just….” Mac paused for the right word.
“Just like me, sickly looking right?” Lana smiled at her own description.
Mac smiled. “I don’t know if sickly is the right word.”
“Andrew just wanted to be a hero.”
Mac, laughed. “Hero is definitely not the correct word.” He pulled Lana inside the house. “No, hero is never Andrew.”