marduk said:
Wow Pee, you're starting to take after me with your long posts and stuff. I'm really glad you had quite an adventure but I'm sorry you got sick though.
I don't know if you meant to write this or not...but I think they get drunk quite a bit.
That's not funny. That happened to me before, except it was a dumpster for me instead of a traffic light. :sweat:
Overall, you seem to have liked the experience. Don't fall into the role of being the mom. You don't always have to be the one to take care of people. They're going to have to learn to watch over themselves.
Goodbyes are a part of life. You're going to learn that relationships don't stay the same forever and even though things will be different, it won't always mean it's bad. Enjoy the last couple of weeks you have left with your friends and whatever will happen afterwards will happen. Some you'll stay close with, but separation can usually wear down a friendship. It doesn't mean they were never your true friends, but during this stage in your life, people are maturing differently and will drift apart. This is a sucky way for me to explain, but I just want to say don't feel so bad about saying goodbyes. Just enjoy the present.[post="118063"][/post]
u know something if this quote was given to me about 6 years ago i would totally disagree with you on this. but now that i'm living since years after that, i agree with u 100%. since this is the blah thread, i'm gonna go on and blah about my life. well i still struggle but not as bad. i used to have 8 closest friends since middle school. it was 4 girls and 4 boys... we always went bowling, the movies and skating together all the time. when we went to high school we split up 4 went to one school and 4 went to another. we still tried to hold on to our bond...tho it was quite hard. we had pinics and went out as a group all the time, went to prom all together, until about senior year we had this outburst and all the guys just stopped talking to us girls.
it was the worst of all fights we ever had because we went thru so much crap, after years and years of being so close it had to end because of stupid ppl who looks to distroy friendship. i didn't talk to the guys for like 1 year and a half. at the same time, i've became closer and closer to my girl friends, i've simply called them my best friends. i felt like these girls were there for me thru thick and thin. i've gone thru such dramatic times when i was going to college. i lost 2 of my grandmothers in the span of 2 months. my dad almost got arrested because they thought he did a hit and run because of some blurred vision driver thought they saw his license plate. so i've pretty much went along my path and chose what i did because i wanted to lift both my parents, who are both mourning from their mom's death, out of their concerns about me so i've decided to go to the school they wanted me to go to.
at the same time, one of my best friend decided to go to the same school so we dormed. i thought i couldn't be so close to anyone and i've became emotionally attached to her, she was one of the friends where people would question for me if i wasn't there and they'd question for her if she's not there with me. we were everywhere together...i can seriously say i don't grow attached to anyone besides my family, the person i crush, and this one best friend. i just thought wow, though all those other friends totally left me i still had her and she made up for those people that only wanted to start more drama. after freshmen year i just didn't dorm anymore because i hated dorming, was so boring and just a waste of money. then as a sophomore we'd still manage to hang out... until junior year she had a boyfriend, which was good for her... at the same time i was also talkin to someone. we had a faint gap... but then tried to hold on as long as possible. then it just slowly, slowly lost communication...and it just abruptly stopped. so i kind of felt like okay, i don't think it is as bad as it might seem so i just hung out with the guy i was talking to, he was kind of the only person i had... kinda felt bad. lol but hey he didn't complain lol.
but as time progressed, i've realized we haven't talk or seen each other for weeks, then months, and now years. what aches most, though i've already forgiven, i shouldn't even be talking about this again, but since i've already start to... it hurt most when we started college together, dorm together, had classes together, envisioned that we'd one day walk the stage together and take graduating pictures together. none of this happened.
i've found out from her sister that she's not going to graduate on time because she's missing a class. she'd never mention a thing when i've talked to her on the phone when i called to see if she wanted to hang out. i also called and asked her to go buy our gowns together and go to the school meetings but she just simply said, "oh i'm not going, i'm going to work." with this in mind, i've constantly came up with a reasoning for her, saying she's busy she's going to go to work so she probably will squeeze it in at another time. then i've seriously came to acceptance that she will definitely not graduate on time and she just didn't tell me because i'm not "someone" in her eyes anymore. but then i've also thought ok maybe she felt ashame. so i've went on telling myself good things keep making excuses for her.
so the day came for graduation, i called her up and left her a vmail because she didn't pick up. told her i'm having a graduation bbq party, try to stop by before going to work to eat or something. all the guys that stopped talking to me, though they weren't at my graduation, they all came to my bbq. but the best friend that i thought i had all this time didn't come, didn't even call me, didn't do anything. it wasn't like she didn't know when we graduated because she goes to the same school, i've even called her and she didn't even call me. i felt like she didn't even make an effort to do anything. i was just so hurt it was worse than having an argument with someone. now it's been 1 year since graduating, and about 3 years that she has fully communicated with me.
i mean i can't be mad at her, because i really don't have a reason to be mad. i'm just confused, but i've forgiven her. i just don't intend to be that close to anyone anymore. i've gone thru so many friendships and relationships that i don't think i can simply trust anyone as much anymore. it's now much more harder to open up to anyone. have close friends because i become so suspicious of their intentions. now i jus become a really heartless person that doesn't care much for anyone besides my family. and the friends that stopped talking to me are the guys and they're becoming the rather closer friends. i guess i'm appreciating what i have right in front of me now, rather than holding on to what i no longer have and making excuses for them.
so that's why i say just enjoy your life as it goes like mike mentioned. because u really cannot tell if the person u've envisioned since middle school to be there with u thru graduation, thru work, drinking coffee at the cafe, getting married and having our kids grow up together...would just stop talking to u, like what happened to me...
enjoy life. it's too much expectations to live a perfect happy life. i guess that's why we call it life. nothing is perfect. okay sorry i've killed the mood but i just needed to vent. now i feel a lil better.
