Chapter 18 - Linger
Kaneung’s Condo
Shocked that Kaneung is responding well to his kisses, Sakorn is confused. “Can she really like me?” he asked himself. “Is this just another dream?”
Sakorn held Kaneung tighter, his suspicion vanished as he let himself go. His body reacting to her like reflex. He isn’t going to think too much into this, she is letting him touch her. Why waste this chance on flooding his brain with useless ‘what ifs?’
Kaneung tried hard to hold her composure. She responded to him by not letting him see her fear and her dislike of him. She wanted to act like his attempt at harassing her isn’t going to make her weak like it did years ago. He can’t win by making her cry in front of him. She needs him to think that she enjoys this and she can fool around with him and not care about him emotionally.
The longer she kissed him, the more confused she got. She isn’t supposed to like this embrace, she’s fighting hard with her heart. “Pull away, brush your lips to the side of his lips and make him miss the taste of your lips Kaneung!” Kaneung thought to herself. “You have to make him really want you so you have control. If you keep kissing him, you’ll lose that control on him.” She is afraid she’d lose herself and her purpose of coming back to Thailand.
Kaneung pulled her lips away just as Sakorn turned his face to get better access. He felt Kaneung pull away and wanted her to exchange her sweet taste with him more, but her lips brushed against the side of his mouth. It was gentle pull away from him and not an abrupt stop. It made his heart flutter and his body reacted to wanting to hold her closer, his body burned with desire for her. Her moving away from him burned, his pride hurt. But, if she doesn’t want more than the kiss, he can’t let his needs ruin what they have now. At least he can see her at work even if she doesn’t want to see him. He can’t ruin it. He is pissed that she belongs to Kaphon, but forcing her like he did before didn’t solve anything. The last time he hurt her, she ran away and Kaphon still got to stay home. Kaphon got angry at him, but not to the point of telling their parents on him. It made him even more angry that Kaphon didn’t do as he thought he would. Ami said that if he hurt Kaphon enough, Kaphon would rat him out. But, he did the worse thing possible to Kaneung and Kaphon let him off the hook.
Sakorn hurt Kaneung for no reason and he still doesn’t have the guts to apologize. It’s too shameful. “I hurt her because I was selfish,” he thought. “But I can’t hurt her today because the truth is…I am still that selfish bastard. Being selfish is the only way to keep her by my side. Don’t go too far or she’ll hate you even more and she will disappear from you.”
Kaneung can feel Sakorn’s chest rise and fall against her. She let him hold her, not wanting to really let go herself. But, she has to be strong. Kaneung let her hands fall to the side and tried to pull away by taking a step back, but Sakorn gripped her tighter. She pressed her lips together and waited a moment before finally saying, “I can’t go any further. I just can’t.”
Sakorn heard these words and let go. A long silence, both staring into each other’s eyes. Unaware that they both want the same things, but both not understanding that they want the same things.
“Khun Lung,” said Lynn, out loud, standing in the doorway of her bedroom. “Umm, I mean…errr.”
Lynn doesn’t know what to say. He isn’t her uncle, but her biological father, who doesn’t know that he is her father. It is too much for a 6 year old to comprehend, but she knows that her mom doesn’t want to reveal the truth. Her dad doesn’t want to reveal the truth either. Lynn quickly closed her bedroom door and ran to her bed and pulled the covers over herself. She hoped they didn’t hear her. She just witnessed her parents standing very close to each other. Her mom never did that with her dad.
“Does she love him?” Lynn asked herself. “If she does, what about Khun Por? Isn’t Khun Por the dad that I call dad. And if I call someone dad, then he must be who my mom loves. Moms and dads love each other, right? But then my mom never gets close to Khun Por like that. And at school, I see the adults kiss each other and they look like they are in love. Khun Mae was just really close to Khun Lung…no my real Khun Por, so that means she loves him?”
Both Kaneung and Sakorn’s looked worried. They didn’t know how much Lynn saw. Kaneung walked to her couch and sat down with her hands over her face. “I thought she was in bed. Now what do I do?” she asked herself.
“You don’t have to do anything,” said Sakorn. “I’ll go talk to her and explain everything.”
“Explain what?” asked Kaneung. “You don’t need to do that. I’m her mother, I’ll do it.”
Sakorn walked over to Lynn’s door and before turning the handle, Kaneung grabbed his hands. Her hands were firm on his.
“Please, don’t. I will take care of it,” she said.
Sakorn replied, “But I don’t want her to have a misunderstanding. She’s my niece, I can’t let her be hurt. I can’t let her think that her mom is cheating on her dad with..” he whispered, “her dad’s brother.”
Kaneung soaked in his words, “he considers Kaphon is brother now? Is he messing with me? He cares that much for Lynn?”
She released Sakorn’s hand. “I just don’t want Lynn to be in a hardship talking to him. She must be very confused right now. What will she say when she faces Sakorn? Is she ready to face him?” she thought.
Sakorn opened the door and peeked in. Lynn laid facing away from him. Kaneung didn’t know if she should pull Sakorn back or not, but Sakorn turned and whispered, “She’s pretending like she wasn’t at the door.”
He stepped in and knelt down on his knees. Kaneung turned and walked towards the bedroom door. She stood in the doorway observing father and daughter. Sakorn began to talk, “NongLynn, I know you’re not really asleep. But I don’t know how long you were standing there. But regardless, I just want you to know that you don’t have to worry about your mother and I. You and your father are the most important people in her life. Your mother would never do anything to make you sad. It is because your Khun Lung is a bad guy. I deserve to be at fault for everything.”
Sakorn got up and turned to see Kaneung in the doorway. Tears rolling down her eyes. Both their eyes met and they stood still.
Sakorn turned away first and looked back at Lynn. She had turned with her eyes open looking at her parents. She began to speak, “Do you love me Khun Lung?”
Thida’s House
Thida broke the awkwardness and got up off of Kaphon. He turned to the side and used his arm to lift himself off the ground.
“No help at all?” he asked. “How nice of you.”
Thida turned away. She is nervous. “Is that even considered a kiss?” she asked herself.
“Look, I know you are questioning whether that is a kiss or not,” said Kaphon. “Let me show you a real kiss. He grabbed Thida’s arm and turned her around swiftly. He looked into her eyes. They are so beautiful. Kaphon pulled her to him and he closed his eyes and leaned in to kiss Thida. Her eyes lit up, but she quickly closed them as his kiss melted all her senses. He really hasn’t been a jerk to her. He has been helping her all this time. She didn’t realize when she fell for this brother. But he seems to like her back, not like Sakorn. Both pulled away and opened their eyes to look. There is no anger in Kaphon’s eyes today. Nothing but sweetness. Thida smiled and grabbed hold of Kaphon’s hands. She walked back towards her bedroom door and pulled him in. His face lit up and he chuckled to himself.
Kaneung’s Condo
Sakorn cleared his throat. Kaneung wiped her tears. Shocked by Lynn’s question. Sakorn turned all the way around to look at Lynn and walked towards her.
“Yes, I truly love you NongLynn.”
Lynn smiled and sat up in bed. “Come here Khun Lung,” she said. Sakorn walked towards her and he sat down on the bed next to her. She wrapped her arms around Sakorn’s neck. She whispered into Sakorn’s ears and he immediately held Lynn a lot tighter. Tears flowed down his cheeks.
Kaneung didn’t know what Lynn just told Sakorn, she couldn’t speak. Frozen stiff.
Thida’s House
“I wasn’t afraid that night,” said Thida.
“Yes you were,” said Kaphon. “You had nothing but negative thoughts about me.”
“Okay, true,” said Thida. “But, knowing how blunt I can be, I just want to say…I think I really like you.”
Thida smiled, relieved that she admitted it. She really likes Kaphon. She didn’t realize she liked him this much either, but after blurting it out to him, she realizes she really likes him.
Kaphon didn’t know how to respond to that. He honestly didn’t know when he had feelings for Thida either. She seemed really bratty when he first saw her. “She actually is,” he thought. “But she is also cute, blunt, and really sincere.” He looked around and realized he had followed her into her room. Thida let him in, which means she wants more. He began to worry about whether this is a good idea.
That night her mom had thanked him for bringing Thida home. “You are such a gentleman,” she said. Kaphon looked at himself awkwardly and thought, “I pressed her against the wall and made out with your daughter. That isn’t a very gentleman thing to do, especially because it was against her will.”
Thida looks really cute tonight. She walked towards him, noticing that he stopped walking towards her. Instead of walking to him, she walked passed him and pushed him further into the room and closed her bedroom door. “You’re not going to say anything back?” she asked. “Did I leave you speechless?”
This time she walked to him and kept pushing him towards her bed until he tripped over it and landed flat on it.
Kaneung’s Condo
Sakorn’s phone buzzed. He reached into his pocket and pulled the phone out, still holding onto Lynn. His eyes lit up and he gently pushed Lynn away as she released her arms from his embrace. “I’ll be right there,” he said. He hung up and Lynn smiled at him. “Be careful driving Khun Lung,” she said. “Don’t panic while driving. See you when I go visit at the university.”
Sakorn put on a smile even though he is panicking inside. “I will see you soon NongLynn.” He walked towards Kaneung and she stepped out of the way for him. He nodded at her and walked towards the front door and stepped out.
Sakorn rushed downstairs and into his car, driving full speed to the hospital.
“P’Sakorn, Moo Lek is crying for you. He can’t sleep and he is turning pale. He’s been vomiting all day,” cried Sakol.
“Khun Mae ja,” said NongLynn. “Don’t worry, I didn’t tell him your secret.”
Kaneung ran to her daughter’s beside. She pulled Lynn into her arms and sobbed. She is happy that Lynn is speaking to her again. But she is still wondering what Lynn whispered in Sakorn’s ears to make him weep like that.
Thida’s House
Kaphon is shocked that Thida is doing this. But then again, he shouldn’t be because she is rather ambitious with everything she does. “Hey jerk, you think that I do this with every guy?” she crawled up on Kaphon and placed her hands on his chest. She leaned down towards his face. “To tell you the truth, P’Sakorn told me to stay away from you, but I can’t. And you’re the first guy who has ever kissed me. This is revenge! You pressed me against the wall, now I’m pressing against you!”
“She really is an English major,” thought Kaphon. Kaphon tried to tell Thida that he has fallen for her too, but she hushed him and leaned in to kiss him. All the sensations of her pressing against him made him forget the indecency of everything happening between them. She is the first girl to ever make him feel like this. The surprise, the spontaneous moves she makes is really intriguing.
Kaphon kissed her back, the pain from the fall still not bothering him. He wrapped his arms around Thida. In one swift move, he rolled her over. She is not laying flat in bed with him on top. Their kiss was passionate, reminiscent of their first kiss, but this time there is no anger, just pure desire for one another.
Their breathing increased and Thida felt herself wanting him to go further with her. She felt things between her legs that she hasn’t felt before, especially with him pressing hard against her. Kaphon kissed Thida’s cheeks, moving slowly to her throat. Then the vibrations from the sound of Kaphon’s cell phone in his shirt pocket pressed against her. Her mind began to wander. “Are you not going to pick it up?” she asked through exasperated breaths.
“No,” Kaphon responded. Thida began to think further into the call. “What if it is NongLynn?” she asked.
“What if it is NongLynn?” her words began to play in her mind. She blurted out, “Wait, I can’t do this.”
Kaphon stopped what he was doing. He looked at Thida, his phone still ringing.
“You’re not single,” said Thida. “I can’t do this. Not to P’Kaneung. How can I forget?”
Kaphon lifted himself up and reached for his phone. “Hang on a sec,” he said after looking at the caller ID.
“Yes? I’m so happy! Will she talk to me?” Kaphon asked.
“Kaneung, I will call you back tomorrow okay? I have to clear things up. And Kaneung, we will stick to the plans. No backing out right? See you,” said Kaphon and hung up.
Thida sat up in bed and looked at Kaphon with sad eyes. “I can’t believe I almost committed a horrible sin.”
Kaphon laughed. “Why are you laughing jerk?” asked Thida.
“Stop calling me jerk already. I can’t believe I made out with a brat like you again. Not like we are getting anywhere anyways,” said Kaphon. Not trying to hurt Thida, but trying to joke with her. She doesn’t look too happy still, so he walked over to her bed and sat down.
“There’s so many things that I want to tell you, but it will hurt you. Your P’Sakorn will not seem like a good guy in your eyes and I don’t want to ruin that image you have of him. Can you understand?” asked Kaphon.
Thida looked at Kaphon seriously. She grabbed hold of his wrist, “But the person who I care most about now is you, you jerk. And I don’t like when you call me a brat either.” She began to chuckle, but continued, “The person who I like now is you. Do you hear me? And when I like somebody, I want them to be honest with me because I haven’t hidden anything from you. Regardless of the consequences, tell me things. I want to know, even if it ruins my image of P’Sakorn. He never liked me back in the way I liked him and now I like you, but you are taken. Am I just not meant to be in a real relationship?” tears rolled down Thida’s eyes.
Kaphon grabbed hold of Thida and hugged her. “I’m doing things to protect Kaneung,” he said. “I know,” said Thida. “She is your lover, so I understand.”
Kaphon chuckled, “She’s not my lover. She is just my best friend.”
“I get it,” said Thida. “Don’t have to make me feel even worse. She’s pretty much your wife even if a marriage license hasn’t been signed. Guys always marry their best girlfriend.”
“Thida, stop thinking too much into this,” said Kaphon. “I don’t want any misunderstandings between us. I’m ready to be honest with you. But, can you keep it a secret? I have to protect Kaneung.”
Thida nodded and Kaphon began to explain things to her.
The next morning
“Woah!” shouted the maid as she entered the room. “You really didn’t leave? Khun Noo!”
Thida awoke from bed and rubbed her eyes. She opened her eyes and saw Kaphon lying next to her. She had slept in his arms all night. “Wait, he slept here with me all night?” Her eyes bugged out and she saw the expression on the maid’s face. “Oh crap!” she blurted to herself.